[ Listening to him, Buffy softens sympathetically, sorrow in her eyes. He isn't the only one feeling the guilty weight of failing to protect the person he loved because he pulled back when she needed him: she did the same to him. He was only in danger because of her in the first place, and she had abandoned him to dwell on her own pain, leaving him to imagine the worst.
In the face of all he's told her, it's impossible not to feel responsible both for what Nadia had done and that she succeeded. Since she let him go, she has been mired in darkness, the same darkness he claims to want to turn away from. Now, she can only wonder if it was her darkness that did this to him--that kept her away and injured him with its sharpened edges.
Maybe it is selfish. But not as selfish as she had been in leaving him to deal with it alone. She reaches out, covering his hand with hers and catches his gaze intently. ]
No. No, of course not. But ... [ Guilt burns in her eyes and she has to drop her gaze briefly. ] Rafael, Isabella is right. About all of it. I brought this darkness into your life when you were trying to leave it behind you. This happened to you because of me.
And when I should have been beside you, protecting you from it, I ... [ She shakes her head, turning out to look at the city and squeezing his hand. ] I was too afraid. To face you, to face what I'd done. I wasn't ready. Instead of being there for you, I let that fear win, and now ... I won't let you blame yourself for this.
no subject
In the face of all he's told her, it's impossible not to feel responsible both for what Nadia had done and that she succeeded. Since she let him go, she has been mired in darkness, the same darkness he claims to want to turn away from. Now, she can only wonder if it was her darkness that did this to him--that kept her away and injured him with its sharpened edges.
Maybe it is selfish. But not as selfish as she had been in leaving him to deal with it alone. She reaches out, covering his hand with hers and catches his gaze intently. ]
No. No, of course not. But ... [ Guilt burns in her eyes and she has to drop her gaze briefly. ] Rafael, Isabella is right. About all of it. I brought this darkness into your life when you were trying to leave it behind you. This happened to you because of me.
And when I should have been beside you, protecting you from it, I ... [ She shakes her head, turning out to look at the city and squeezing his hand. ] I was too afraid. To face you, to face what I'd done. I wasn't ready. Instead of being there for you, I let that fear win, and now ... I won't let you blame yourself for this.