he just ~knew~ jade was dead. it wasn't one of those gunshots you stood a chance at recovering from.
finnick hadn't even been particularly close to jade, not like some of the other team members. but he'd tried to get to know her before this, tried to be a friend. even if he hadn't, it still would have been hurt. this was what happened when you cared and tried to let people in. he should have known better. he had the same sinking feeling in his stomach when francesca died, but at least he hadn't stood there and witnessed the whole thing.
there had been some kind of security in living here. no matter what happened, it couldn't be as bad as the games. it was (relatively) safe. even with all the mutts and mind control and all this bizarre shit, it would never be that bad. he could even recognize his behavior right now as irrational — it wasn't like this was the worst thing that had ever happened to him, but it's not like that recognition could actually help anything. there were a lot of different elements in play here — he'd been blindsided (or deafsided aHahah HA ha...), he was weaponless, and the person he loved most in the world basically flung herself into danger and didn't seem to give a single fuck about it.
something instinctual that felt almost beyond his own volition propelled him toward myri. it was unlikely that anything would happen to her at this point, but he still wanted to protect her. not for her own sake like she was some kind of precious damsel, but because he needed to know that she was okay before he could be okay. he knew (in his perspective) that she was disgusted with him, probably didn't want him around anymore, but he happened to not give a single fuck about that. ]
no subject
THIS
IS
WHY
HE WANTED
TO LEAVE
he just ~knew~ jade was dead. it wasn't one of those gunshots you stood a chance at recovering from.
finnick hadn't even been particularly close to jade, not like some of the other team members. but he'd tried to get to know her before this, tried to be a friend. even if he hadn't, it still would have been hurt. this was what happened when you cared and tried to let people in. he should have known better. he had the same sinking feeling in his stomach when francesca died, but at least he hadn't stood there and witnessed the whole thing.
there had been some kind of security in living here. no matter what happened, it couldn't be as bad as the games. it was (relatively) safe. even with all the mutts and mind control and all this bizarre shit, it would never be that bad. he could even recognize his behavior right now as irrational — it wasn't like this was the worst thing that had ever happened to him, but it's not like that recognition could actually help anything. there were a lot of different elements in play here — he'd been blindsided (or deafsided aHahah HA ha...), he was weaponless, and the person he loved most in the world basically flung herself into danger and didn't seem to give a single fuck about it.
something instinctual that felt almost beyond his own volition propelled him toward myri. it was unlikely that anything would happen to her at this point, but he still wanted to protect her. not for her own sake like she was some kind of precious damsel, but because he needed to know that she was okay before he could be okay. he knew (in his perspective) that she was disgusted with him, probably didn't want him around anymore, but he happened to not give a single fuck about that. ]