[ with her sense motive of THIRTY she catches onto that decisive avoidance. she rolls her eyes to push back emotional response, dryly commenting; ]
God, is there anyone on this team that does want something to do with me?
[ it's whiny and self-involved but she doesn't particularly feel the need to mask those feelings with spike. none of this is about her, and she knows it rationally, but it doesn't change the feelings she's got about the constant shadow of jade, how it colored every interaction with des and rafael, or how alarmed she'd been to see the suddenness of her close relationship to vi. she hasn't felt the room to properly mourn herself because she's been scrambling to keep hold of what the lost, as she sees it, has taken from her.
and she realizes it's overdramatic, too - she knows they want everything to do with her. everyone in that room means a great deal to her (yes, even archer), they're her family, and the sheer number who'd rushed to her side at the sign of her falling against the spider spoke volumes. but upset people tend to put that out of their minds, particularly when confronted with a perceived slight. ]
no subject
God, is there anyone on this team that does want something to do with me?
[ it's whiny and self-involved but she doesn't particularly feel the need to mask those feelings with spike. none of this is about her, and she knows it rationally, but it doesn't change the feelings she's got about the constant shadow of jade, how it colored every interaction with des and rafael, or how alarmed she'd been to see the suddenness of her close relationship to vi. she hasn't felt the room to properly mourn herself because she's been scrambling to keep hold of what the lost, as she sees it, has taken from her.
and she realizes it's overdramatic, too - she knows they want everything to do with her. everyone in that room means a great deal to her (yes, even archer), they're her family, and the sheer number who'd rushed to her side at the sign of her falling against the spider spoke volumes. but upset people tend to put that out of their minds, particularly when confronted with a perceived slight. ]