People do this without western medical care all the time. She's half elf, quarter god, quarter apparent rock star human, I'm pretty sure she'll survive without monthly doctor visits and that weird whooshy sound the monitor makes. [ a sigh pushes her hair from her face, and she lowers her bow a bit, brushing her fingers across the strings. she really should have learned to silence it on her own since she doesn't really have anyone else to fix it for her now. it's such a little thing, but it makes her heart feel hollow. ] It's too much to think about now. Everything is too much. I don't even know if I want her. Which is fucked up, right? It's like a spec the size of a piece of sand and I know I'm supposed to be attached, but I really just want to trade it in for Luthir. And I know I'm supposed to want to help Nadia because she was in the same position I was and she made the wrong choice, but I can't. Because even if I don't want this, Luthir did and she's all I have left and I can't, I just can't lose that. And Jesus Christ, all I want is a fucking glass of wine.

[ sorry, buffy, there are tears now. ]