CHAPTER FOUR ♔ does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love

[coldheritage]

♬ The Truth - Nonpoint

WHO || Failboat, Rafael, Isabella, Nadia  [Closed]
WHAT || After an exciting Grammy night, the Knights meet up with Nadia to hear what she has to say
WHERE || Staples Center, LA -->  Warehouse
WHEN || Feb 8th, 2015  [back dated]
HOW || Actionspam

[  The Knights' mission to stop the signal and prevent Draken's cult from spreading whatever subliminal message  was lurking beneath Keijen Blade's performance was a success.  It didn't come without its bumps in the road, however:  Alexander Anderson showed up, and the Knights ran afoul of the Mind Master.    Buffy nearly died fighting Anderson, but in the end, he was defeated, beheaded, and hopefully put to death forever.   Finnick, though, found himself thrust into a mental illusion that convinced him he might still be in the Hunger Games, and left him uncertain about whether any of his life here was real.  

Another surprise came in the form of an announcement by Nadia Reichenov, an artist working with Crombe and company, that she was changing her band name and taking things in a 'new direction'.   This direction was perhaps revealed when after her performance, she approached the Knights in Rafael's dressing room - and handed them the necklace that connects her to the Nightmare God Malaak'a, saying she was willing to tell them everything.  ]

Comments

[65]

[he goes back to quietly tying and untying knots in his shoelace bc that's a comforting, grounding gesture and doesn't involve reliving all his trauma.]

[graveflowers]

[ they can just sit quietly next to each other for a long while. until vi turns on the tv to abc family because it's grammy's weekend so of course harry potter is on. and it's the sixth movie, so they get to enjoy harry's pincers pantomime. ]

[65]

[finnick glances up occasionally and even cracks a smile at shit like the pincers pantomime, but he still doesn't seem that into it. sobs.]

[graveflowers]

[ vi isn't even into it, which says something. dumbledore dies and she sheds a single manly tear, brushing her cheeks absently. spoilers, she's not crying about dumbledore. ]

What do you want to do?

[65]

About ... ?

[graveflowers]

Everything.

[ she assumes they're just going to keep watching hp, so that's not a choice ok. ]

[65]

[he mutters "i dunno" and keeps picking at his shoelace.]

[graveflowers]

[ that won't do. ]

What if you don't wake up, what if this is it?

[65]

[no talking. just picking at his shoelace.]

[graveflowers]

[ ♪ sunday morning -- merriment ]

Can you-- [ whatever was about to follow that gets cut off, vi twisting her ring around her finger. trying not to take any of this personally is near impossible because finnick is her best friend, her fish. if myri suddenly started telling her she wasn't real, she would be just as heartbroken. they were the first family she had here, they'd been through everything with her -- including losing luthir -- and now she can feel finnick slipping away from her.

part of her wants to shake him or slap him, but unlike with kat's potion induced psychosis, she doesn't think that would do anything except upset finnick more. he fought to the death, he doesn't exactly need more violence in his life. and she had done the math: he had to kill twenty three other people or watch them die, in order to survive.

what are you even supposed to do when your best friend is so broken that he thinks you're a fiction? cry, presumably, since that's what vi wants to do. ]

Are you always going to be waiting to wake up?

[65]

[he's completely quiet for a long time, until he decided on the words he wants to use and forces them out, still while not looking at her:] A pretty lie is still a lie. It's just going to hurt that much more when I wake up and it's all — you're not —

[graveflowers]

[ she can't fight the tears this time, streaking down her cheeks. ]

But what about us?

[65]

I'm sorry, Violet. I'm sorry.

[graveflowers]

[ ♪ in the end -- snow patrol

"i'm sorry" feels like a nail in the coffin. a coffin she didn't realize was being built around her friendship and family. if she is this gutted by an apology, she can't imagine how myri will feel.

well, she can imagine, but it's not as if luthir left her willingly.

she tries to keep calm, keep her voice low, keep from bursting into hysterics, keep from startling him and ruining the tiny calm they've managed to achieve within all this chaos and confusion. the mission was supposed to be a success; anderson died and they all survived, but at this cost? she'd rather keep fighting anderson, she would rather be in danger every single day of her life, than watch her best friend leave the delicate family they had all built together.

because that's what an apology meant. ]

What are you going to do?

[65]

[just blows up at her like mentally unstable people do:] Stop asking me that!

[because he doesn't know. it all just feels like a lie leaked into his mind to give him a false sense of security before he's yanked back into the arena. and her asking him what he's going to do, what about us, etc is just ramping up his anxiety. ]

[graveflowers]

[ ♪ sorrow -- the national

she recoils like she's been slapped, standing up and pacing away, ostensibly to give him space, but really because she wants to throw up. she can't juggle trying to protect him and myri at the same time because one of them is going to be more hurt by this than the other. she wants it to be neither of them. she would choose herself; she can weather the hurt, she can take it the same way she can heal people and take their pain onto herself.

but she can't fix this, she can't weather this storm. ]

I'm sorry.

[65]

[on that note, finnick is gonna run to the bathroom and try to lock himself in. there are too many feelings that he's not (and never really has been let's be real) emotionally stable enough to deal with all this and she won't stop prodding at him and it's just bad news.]

[graveflowers]

[ after a brief panic that maybe he is going to jump out the fucking window, vi decides to just sit on the floor across from the bathroom, bringing a pillow with her to hug against her chest.

he doesn't need to be a contributing member of this conversation. ]

I know nightmares, Fish. I don't care if you think I'm not real or not. We all think we're real, so I'm going to be the easiest person to deal with and we both know it. [ that makes sense to her, but she sees it from a 'this is my best friend and of course i will the easiest to deal with' type of mind set. but vi is also the biggest enabler of finnick's horrible coping mechanisms, especially in winter when she can barely control her own emotions, much less cope with them.

her head tips back, the thud punctuating her point in the brief silence before she continues. ] I want to help. I don't want you to feel like this, but... I don't know how to wake you up.

[ and if she could, if he really were dreaming and she could wake him up, she would. she would rather leave him here with his happiness than send him back to that hell, but she knows better than to dwell in dreams. ]

[65]

[her words are met with the promising noise of ... nothing. there's not any other noise coming from the bathroom like idk water running or him rummaging around for shit to kill himself with, so it's not like immediate red flag bust down the door silence (for... now..........) so that's ... good-ish i guess.]

[graveflowers]

[ ♪ salted wound -- sia ]

Do you want anything to eat?

[ simple questions now. ]

[65]

Not hungry.

[graveflowers]

Something to drink?

[65]

No.

[graveflowers]

[ more silence. she's not even going to speak up again, just sit there until finnick talks or the rest of the group comes back. well, she gets up to get her phone so she can keep in contact, but then she just sits down again. she can wait. ]

[65]

[after a million years, finnick talks at the bathroom door without actually opening it back up] I want coffee.