knightsoflegend | marseilles ♔ swallowing the pill til i breathed my last

WHO || Dean, Rose, Gus, Ashley, Elijah [closed]
WHAT || The Knights head to speak with the Carmilla
WHERE || Marseilles, France
WHEN || Mid April 2016
HOW || Actionspam

Last fall, two Knights were killed in action while investigating a group of rogue vampires in Paris - Sir Dragomir and Sir Rast. While the vampires were brought under control, the mystery of who exactly killed the Knights remains up in the air, and to that end, Wynn has decided to establish contact with an ancient vampire known as Carmilla, leader of a vampiric coven of Elders who dictate the rules by which most nearby covens live in order to maintain their existence without bringing humankind down on their heads.

Also of interest to the assigned Knights is the strange abrupt departure of Sir Helen Magnus, who stayed behind in Paris and sent an unusual letter to her daughter Ashley that refused to explain what she was doing, but left the woman more concerned than ever.

Wynn has made arrangements with the coven, who have reluctantly agreed to meet with the Knights, and so a few days after their briefing, Dean pulls their rented vehicle up to the gates of the creepy manor where the Elders have at least agreed to rendezvous. While the grounds are well kept, there's an air of emptiness to the whole place.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I couldn't. [She says, her voice starting to falter.] I knew if you asked me to come back, I wouldn't be able to say no. And some part of me needed this, needed to step away. I can't explain it and I won't make excuses for myself. What I did was entirely selfish.

Yeah, well we needed you. Don't act like you couldn't have gone on a vacation at any time if you'd wanted to. It didn't need to be like this. Wasn't the mess with my father enough for you?

[Low blow. What a terrible will save.]

No kidding.

[That's...exactly what she's getting at, that it was selfish. She's done a lot of bending the rules herself when it came to the Sanctuary, but this was something else. She always at least came home.

It doesn't help to hear that her Mom knew exactly what it was and did it anyway.]

Maybe the fact that you couldn't tell anyone was the first clue that it was a really bad idea.

What would you like me to say, Ashley? That I regret it? Of course I do. But if I'm being honest with you, with myself? I only regret it because of his involvement in the deaths of our own.

[If she can admit it to anyone, it's Ashley. Her daughter is everything to her, despite what her recent actions might suggest.]

I never intended to run off forever. I only needed a break, and what Dashiell offered was...enticing. Do you know how long it's been since anyone has made me feel so... [She sighs and shakes her head.]

It doesn't excuse my actions, of course. I'm not saying that. But I can't take it back. I can't undo it. So tell me what I'm supposed to do now.

Enticing? What did following him around get you, exactly? Getting dragged around by an actual bloodsucker doesn't sound all that enticing to me.

[It isn't even that she ran away. It was that she didn't contact her more than once, then left it to her to tell everyone. That she did it not that long after telling her that she'd died back home. That she'd had to worry that she was dead in a gutter somewhere.]

You would have killed me if I did that to you. [She shakes her head, frustrated.] I don't know. I don't know if there's anything you can do.

I would have. I would have been worried sick and told you exactly how I felt about that choice. And it would have come from a place of love, so I can only hope it's the same for you.

Ashley- as much as I wish I was perfect and made the choices that I hope you make? I am not. And there are times when I will be weak and stupid and selfish. I ran off with a man who made me feel like he needed me. He looked at me like I was the most fascinating person he'd ever met. Was it real? Probably not. But I needed it then.

I don't expect you to be perfect. I expect you to care.

Of course it comes from a place of love. But all you're doing is sitting here and giving me excuses for why you had to do it. How you needed something that apparently you couldn't get anywhere else.

But you're lying to yourself. I needed you. Plenty of people need you. And all I hear are excuses instead of anything resembling an actual apology.

If you want to think that's unfair, then fine. It's only proving that the only person who doesn't care about how this all went is you.

[That was a terrible will save. Oof.]

You lied to me my entire life and I've tried to forgive you for that. But you followed it up with this. How am I supposed to trust you now? What else are you keeping from me?

[She shakes her head, frustrated.]

I guess it doesn't matter. You could tell me nothing, and I don't think I'd believe you. You could spill a dozen things, and that wouldn't make it better either. [She's just gonna...start for the door.] You clearly don't need me anyway.

[And then she pulls the door open, clearly intending to get the fuck out of there unless she's physically stopped.]

[Helen's only a half step behind her, catching Ashley at the door and placing a hand on her shoulder. She doesn't grip or pull, but she's definitely following.]

Ashley, please... I am sorry. I just don't know if saying it is worth anything.

[She's not touching the part about plenty of people needing her, because... Well, it's awkward to try to explain to your daughter that you were looking to be needed in a particular sort of way that no one at the castle can provide. Sigh.]

I know trusting me is near impossible now. I hope it won't always be the case. I didn't think anyone would have understood why I made the choice I did. I didn't keep it from you to hurt you.

[Awkward and she...wouldn't probably understand that at all. This is a girl who has had more romantic experiences with guns than actual boys. l o l]

It's worth more than not saying it at all.

[She pauses for a moment at least, swallowing past an impossible knot in her throat, trying desperately not to cry.]

Not right now. Just leave me alone. [There's another pause before she murmurs:] But I'm glad you're okay.

[And then she's gonna try to leave again.]

[This time she doesn't stop her, as much as she wants to. Helen isn't sure that she deserves more of Ashley's time. So she'll just head back and... Quietly break down in private.]

marseilles ♔ swallowing the pill til i breathed my last

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