knightsoflegend | EARTH-11 ♔ JUST ISN'T HOW I ENVISIONED IT

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EARTH-11 ♔ JUST ISN'T HOW I ENVISIONED IT

WHO || Wanda, Malina, Caroline, Jordan, Alex, Loki, Jane, Darcy, YOU
WHAT || The Knights wake up after a mission in Saudi Arabia with the worst kind of hangover.
WHERE || Earth-11
WHEN || End of 2016
HOW || As you like it; mission in individual top-threads, actionspam.

It's hard to notice right away. For the most part, everything looks normal. The toilets flush in the right direction. The sky's still up. The buildings are still scraping the clouds. But something about it feels wrong, and the details come in waves.

The first wave is that no one is in the castle, or in England, or even in Saudi. It's hard to tell where they are, except it's close to the equator. Warm. Sunny. And a city. Maybe they're lucky. Maybe someone's there to greet them, if not in this bed that isn't theirs, then in this apartment that isn't theirs, or this house.

But out in the streets, things get stranger. Gone are the gleaming glass and metal frames of the skyscrapers, replaced with statuesque marble shaped into hellenic curves. Everything is bright colors and bronze. The metal coins people trade for currency have a wolf's head stamped on them, valid only in the Republic of Midgard.

The world is wrong. And no one but those in the room with Loki and Jordan seem to remember why.

[ ooc note; WHILE THE SAUDI ARABIA MISSION wraps up their encounter with Loki, everyone is invited to play in the whackadoodle AU that Loki created by making Jordan grant his wish to rule a world full of all the things Loki desires, where Thor is nowhere to be found. Consider this your dystopian/framework/everyone's dead AU event. Please note that only mission characters will remember the events of Earth-11, as they've only been transported to a parallel universe. Everything you play is for fun, not for character arc. ]

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[It's interesting to her to see how things shift. She's not sure what she expected, but it does pull her back to keeping her distance. That he wouldn't find whatever it is he is looking for with her. That she could open up and he would not be content with that.

It's the manner in how he seems to address her as if she's another one of his subjects and not his wife. Her hands clasp together in front of her, uneasy once more. She knows that she cannot place Jordan in another uncomfortable situation. It is enough that he already does everything that he does.

She takes a breath and lifts her chin, trying to reclaim some of her confidence.]

I thought we might discuss the matters that you saw fit to share with Jordan rather than with me.

[ would a djinn's wish survive the death of the djinn who granted it? loki wonders. it is a tempting thought. but there are things worse than death to offer jordan for this, and he can leave imagining them for later.

right now, he has a disenchanted wife to deal with. ]

Rather than you. My, that is presumptuous. By the sound of it, Jordan has been a busy messenger, ferrying my sentiments straight to your ears.

[ he rises from his throne to draw nearer to her. ]

Tell me. What did you make of them?

[She frowns. He likens it to Jordan simply going to her and revealing his thoughts without any discussion.]

Jordan expressed your concerns, he did not simply relay a message. We spoke, but I did not wish to place him in the middle of something that we should be perfectly capable of handling together.

[As he nears her, she actually finds herself appreciating that he puts himself on her level. That he doesn't simply speak at her.]

As for the concerns you have, I can understand them. I realize that there has been distance, but the fact that you did not seek me out -- that you did not trust me to confide those concerns. [Once more she frowns, but this is far closer to the frown of an upset wife.]

Would you wish for someone else to hear the answers to why I have been holding back? [Concern flashes over her features, before she looks to him. Her hand lifting to rest to his cheek.] Shouldn't those answers be solely for us?

[She thinks to his enemies, to those that would seek to remove what he values. That they might use that information to harm him.]

Tell me.

[ there's a hunger to his voice. this whole affair is personal to him, all about finally taking what he could never have, but sif has felt like the last holdout. the last fortress standing, which would not be bent even to a djinn's power. he closes his hand around her wrist where she touches his cheek. ]

[She waits that moment to see if the hand around her wrist will tighten. If his need to have her will press further toward his possessive streak. If her resistance to him will leave a mark on her.

She knows not to wait too long. That prolonging this conversation will only frustrate him. Possibly frustrate her as well.]

I know my strength. I know that I can be a good soldier, a warrior. That my reputation can follow me into battle and others will follow. [It is something she is exceptionally proud of. She believes that Loki is proud of her, too.] That I can lead and save lives. I know these things and they come easy to me. You could have many soldiers in your army, but none could compare to me.

I have never needed to compete for my place.

Yet, here, at your side, there are things that I have not been measured to. Things that are expected and perhaps -- perhaps I will not be all that you aspire me to be and you will seek out others. I could say that I would not mind. That I would want you to be pleased, but it would be a lie.

That tells me what you don't want. What I can use you for.

[ he brushes the back of his hand along the side of her face. though intimate, the gesture is not gentle so much as possessive. he can do this because he can do what he wants. it is not a gesture of reassurance. ]

But what do you want?

[The way he says he can use her doesn't sit right with her. She knows it to be true, but there's still some small sliver of hope that she has that he might actually want to treat her as someone that he loves -- not just wants to own. The gesture, nearly pushes all that hope down.]

[The fact that he even asks, though, that is what keeps it alive. That he doesn't just demand it of her, when she knows that he could. She tries to appease him, knowing that he is unhappy with her in this area of their marriage. Rather than allow the gesture to remain so hollow, she leans into it. Her hand raising to cradle his hand, to lessen the claim on property to something that she might be able to press emotion into.]

To make you happy. [It's the easy part of the answer. The one that she knows leads into the other parts of the answer.] I want you to look at me and see all that I can offer as someone at your side, not as someone simply within your company. That you could hold something of yourself, something unseen, and share it with me.

[ there's something raw and honest in the way she says this. sif has always been the kind of woman who knows how to strike terror into the hearts of men in battle, but this is something else. this has a bravery of heart that is different than the ability to wield a sword.

it frightens him more. he can dodge a sword.

he flinches away from it, like a fire burning too brightly. his hand recoils, terror tightening its grip around his cold heart. he had not prepared himself for this, and he is surprised to find it weakens his resolve. in part because he knows that the words are a product only of the spell that has given her to him; in part because he acknowledges that merely having her is not enough. ]

You want something that does not exist.

[There are things that Sif is not aware of when it comes to her feelings for Loki. The fact that portions of her memory have been altered, the memories within her are fabricated isn't something that she can take into consideration. However, she has her experiences with him since then. She has her own ways of interpreting the memories, the ways that those memories can make her feel. If she knew, she would be furious, but instead she is simply left in a state of confusion.

To see him pull away from her also frustrates her. She had offered him up a truth, something that she actually feels.

Even with the manufactured memories, Sif herself is a strong warrior. She is capable of many things and her admission of being concerned that she could be replaced is a true fear that she might hold onto in reality as well. To believe that she will always be competing for her place on the battlefield, that the Asgardian Army will always be producing new soldiers, stronger warriors. That one day she might be replaced. To shift that concern to intimacy, to not being enough for the man she is meant to love -- that feels like the answer he had asked for.]

That does not exist or that you will not allow for me to see? Do you only wish to have me as an object or to keep me as your wife?

You wish to be my wife? Act like one.

Support me. Challenge me. Stand at my side. [ he draws himself up and returns to the throne. ] There are those in this world who would see me deposed, still. I want you to find them. And when you do, I want you to kill them.

[She bristles at his response. His reaction is cold, far removed from whatever sliver of closeness she might have been near. She hears him stating that he'd prefer to have her as a weapon, as an executioner, more than a wife. For all the concerns that Jordan had brought to her, it is clear that he clearly does not wish for a partner. He just wishes to have her as what he needs.]

I see.

If you wish to stand at my side, then fight at it. This is what I need.

[ he moves to sit on his throne. ]

That's all.

[It could be such and easy out. For her to forget all that Jordan said, for her to leave this room and simply become something other than the woman that he vowed to love. Become that extension of his power and serve as the warrior she knows that she is. Except, despite her misgivings, she knows that she has loved him. Might still love him, even as he turns from her -- even as he tries to shut her out.

It's in her to fight. To stand up to his attempt at dismissal. To be a warrior and fight for this to be an actual marriage. To remove her own doubts and simply discover if she could be all that he wants. More than just this weapon for him to wield.]

It is not all. [Her voice raises, challenging him.]

You cannot discuss my unwillingness to perform with others only to dismiss me when I try to find a path toward that. I am not your weapon, I am your wife.

[ in a surprising outburst, he shouts, ]

Then why do you not obey me?!

[ he whips around as he says it, heat flaring in his expression. except it's clear that the anger is born of the pain and confusion of one who cannot conceptualize How This Works, or at least how it's supposed to. ]

[She meets his gaze, seeing the anger that resides in his eyes and the hurt that lays beneath that. He has the right to be angry, as does she, but she knows that she also needs to make this right. It is clear that he will not.

She approaches him, closing that distance again. Her tone returning to the compassionate one she had attempted with him earlier.]

Because I am not someone that you should bend to your will. I am not a subject afraid of your rath. I am your wife and I love you, but you cannot simply command me to your bed. I am not willing to be used in such a way. Like I am only a warm body beside you.

[She takes another step toward him, despite his outburst, despite the anger that she know still builds within him.] Loki, I want to be desired - not simply claimed as yours.

You have already won me, but I desire to feel as if I am more than just a prize.

[ he wishes that he knew how. that there were not the wildness in him of the god of mischief, that he had even the capacity to give her what she wants because if he cannot do it here, now, when she is before him, when jordan has conquered the other inadequacies of their relationship, he has only himself to blame for its failure.

that he cannot make any of this function, that he cannot be close to her, fulfill her needs, has nothing to do with the myriad circumstances separating them in the real world — no, he cautions himself, this is real, this world is real — but with himself. ]

Leave me.

[She feels the pull of her heart, the dull ache that comes from knowing that he doesn't wish to fulfill this. That he would sooner have her leave his side than stay to try and help. It hurts, more than she had ever considered it might. The thought that all of her avoidance out of a fear of her own shortcomings would be for nothing if he would not have her fully. That he would only wish to claim her as another conquest instead of being with her.]

And if I refuse? [She nearly states that she refuses, but instead, she opts for an easier approach, one that might not end with him ordering the guards to remove her. Still, the hurt is present in her tone.]

I suggest you don't.

[ his voice is cool and even. ]

I don't ask much of you, Sif. It would be a shame if you disappointed my request.

[She stands by him, silent for a moment, wondering if there had been a different approach to this. Ever the warrior she is thinking of her mistakes, the things she had done that has led her to this impasse with her husband. It hurts to think she is leaving him in this state.

She brings her hand to his jaw, leaning in and kissing his cheek before she steps away from him.]

Should you need me, I shall make myself easy to find.

[ his hand twitches as if to keep her there, as if to turn into the kiss and take comfort of some kind in her. but he grabs onto the edge of his throne instead, holding rigid. sentiment would weaken his resolve. he had no room for it. ]

[For as much as she had been resistant to his attempts, something had shifted in her. Perhaps it was the talk with Jordan or maybe it was seeing how truly closed off Loki had become when she had offered something real for him to take a hold of, but she could sense it in her that there was a part of her that wished he had changed his mind. That she could have won him over to her side, just a small amount. To have the man she truly believed he could be -- even for the briefest of times.

He resists, though, and she leaves the room. Upset in a way she hadn't anticipated and unsure how she should move on from this moment.]

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EARTH-11 ♔ JUST ISN'T HOW I ENVISIONED IT

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