flight ♔ pride can stand a thousand trials

[dragonsclaw]

I'm Kissing You - Des'ree

WHO || Failboat [closed]
WHAT || The Knights return in the wake of the Keijen Blade concert, much worse for the wear
WHERE ||On a plane
WHEN || Directly after the concert
HOW || Actionspam or prose

The mood is darker than it's ever been as the Knights' plane takes off from the blackening skies above Los Angeles, which continue to spread out after them.  They expected a trap, they expected the worst, but what actually happened dwarfed even those dire expectations.

Painful revelations about their teammates themselves, followed by the separation of Vi from the team, and then being forced to watch Blade enact a dark ritual in the concert-hall-turned-dark-temple that culminated in the sacrifice of hundreds, including the deaths of those who had been on the mission back-up team were only the beginning.  Realizing at the last moment that Crombe still had no understanding of what Blade was truly doing, the team made a last minute bid to change his mind and get him to stop the ritual, but it was far too late, and as things escalated quickly, the Nightmare God Malaak'a was freed from his prison, the seal broken with the final step - Nadia's death.  The god himself appeared before them, and Blade stood triumphantly behind him - only to use the dagger soaked in Nadia's blood to plunge into his father, and usurp his power for his own, ascending to some sort of deity-like powers himself.  

This scene lies further and further behind them now, the images forever etched in their minds, and the silent forms of two of their teammates - one mysteriously incapacitated, the other dead, act as haunting reminders on their journey back towards the castle of what has befallen and what may be to come.

Comments

[bigbad]

[......Spike wasn't planning on asking about it but now that he knows the topic's forbidden he's desperately curious.] Really? You can't talk about what it's like? That sort of rule's not going to do anything for your tourism numbers, you realize.

[doubletake]

[She rolls her eyes gently, sighing.]

It's Hell. Whatever you're imagining is likely close enough and yet only a fraction of the real thing.

[Her eyebrows lift expectantly.]

What is it you actually want to know?

[bigbad]

[Which is not a very helpful description, but she's right, he doesn't actually want to know that.]

Like I said. Lots. Starting with what bloody pronouns your... person uses [He jerks a thumb at Des] and going straight on to why the hell did you keep this from us for so long?

[nothingsodivine]

[Des stares at him for a long time, completely stunned by the pronoun question.] Both... All of them. Look, it depends on what body he's in at the time. Usually, he's a guy. [He sputters incoherently for a second.] Why does it matter? He doesn't care!

[Spike you are... such a breath of fresh air, and yet. He pinches the bridge of his nose.] 'Cause an hour after I did it, Buffy nearly murdered me because I committed perjury on the stand at Rafael's trial. I kinda figured I was not in the presence of people who would understand why I did what I did.

And from there on out, there was no way to explain it in terms anyone would get. There was a slow process to all of this over the course of four years, and sometimes I'd drop hints here and there or I'd push my luck or I'd get careless or scared or whatever, but finally I just stopped trying.

[doubletake]

We've all had our secrets over the years, Spike.

[Some of them may have been more intense than others, but it was the truth nonetheless.]

This one happened to be ours. If you've noticed, knowing the truth hasn't actually made things better.

[bigbad]

[Spike looks at Des, then back at Elena, and he looks... old, mostly. Sad. He's lost friends today. He doesn't want to lose more, but the group is tearing apart in front of him.]

You lied to us for years, then showed up ready for us to condemn you. Are you really so surprised we lived down to your expectations? If there's a reason this isn't as bad as it looks, I'd love to hear it.

[He really, really would.]

[nothingsodivine]

I'm not surprised, Spike. I didn't expect anything else except maybe to be given some credit for our intelligence. If we had some agenda, we had ample opportunity to put it into motion. I'm sure you can imagine the damage we could have done in years.

[He lets that sit there and then exhales slowly.] I get it. We lied. We can't be trusted because of the people we associated with and I don't care about that. You can hate us all you want, and I'm not gonna say it's better than it looks, 'cause it isn't and even if it was, you'd never be able to convince anyone otherwise, so why would I waste my breath trying to convince someone of it?

But here's the thing. People are dead- Nadia is dead the same way Jade would have been, which means we stopped nothing. We just passed the mantle onto another poor girl. People are missing. People are hurt. And who the fuck knows what the hell Blade even is now. All I want right now is for everyone's priorities to stay in line with the big picture here.

[He scowls.] But that's exactly what a big bad monster would say to make people look the other way while he sticks another knife in your back. God forbid anyone expect anything less from Des, the selfish bastard.

[Okay, he's done ranting now. Sorry, Elena. He's a little worked up.]

[doubletake]

Of course, we were ready to be condemned. What you may see as surprise is more likely to be exasperation. If we hadn't been concerned about our very safety, we would not have needed to keep a secret like this. And yet, if you look around, you'll find at least a couple of you who would be happy to shove a blade through my heart and be done with it. You may feel betrayed, but I did not stray from our mission together. I simply found another cause I also stood behind, one that I've chosen to dedicate my existence to.

[She doesn't sound as if she's upset about that. It's simply a matter of fact, one that she's not happy about but has seemingly accepted.]

If you're looking for guilt, Spike, you won't find it here. Any guilt that was felt over this I worked through a long time ago. I care enough to be here, to risk my life for all of you, but I'm not going to apologize because I'm not sorry. Not for this.

[She tucks a lock of dark hair behind one ear.]

I'm doing exactly what I was born to do and I live with no regrets. However you want to feel about that is up to you.

[bigbad]

Not looking for guilt, pet. I'm looking to understand.

[He looks at both of them, frowning slightly.]

I don't care about demons or devils or whatnot. I'm an unholy creature of the night, remember? I may have a soul, but healing magic still burns me. If I know anything about good and evil, it's that it's not simple. I care that you lied, but it's a bit too late to do anything about that now.

You're my friends. I'd like to believe there's more to the story than you two simply up and deciding to be villains. That's what I'm asking for. The rest of the story. From you.

[nothingsodivine]

[he pinches the bridge of his nose, wincing.] I wish I could tell you the whole story. Or even half the story. It's not that I'm convinced I have to keep secrets, it's because I can't. It's all tied up in everything. I can't disentangle it all to offer you anything.

But I can tell you that yes Azrael came to me at my lowest moment, and yes maybe I got played a little bit, but there was so much more to it than that. And, uh... goddammit. There's no way to make this sound not all Stockholm-esque, is there?

[he huffs.] Fuck.

[doubletake]

[It takes her a moment to remember that he uses that term, 'pet,' as one of endearment and not something derogatory. Time is a funny thing.

Either way, she listens to him speak, something seeming to stir behind her eyes as he refers to her as his friend. Her lips part slightly, something on the tip of her tongue, before they close again, and she shrugs her shoulders, albeit gently.

She lets Des speak before she answers the question for herself.]

You remember what my life was like, how powerless we all were. First the night on Andres, when I was completely at the Mind Master's mercy. Then the Grammy's, where I had to watch her tear apart Finnick's mind and there was nothing I could do to stop her. I never wanted to be a victim again. I wanted the power to stop her.

[She lifts her hands, palms up.]

Now I do. [She says it as if it's simple, but the look in her eyes indicates it's anything but.] There's more to it, these days. I can't change what I've done, and I have never wanted to, because I fell in love. I would do anything for him, Spike, and I do mean anything.

[She's probably not helping that whole Stockholm thing, is she? <.<]

[bigbad]

[She really, really isn't, and Spike gives Des a look that just says fucking really. At least Des seems aware of how it sounds. Elena just sounds like she's drinking some serious kool-aid.

Also he's gonna sense motive at them (Des: 35, Elena: .....crit fail wow).]

Not sure that's the model of a healthy relationship. Just cause you love someone doesn't mean they're infallible, and I don't mean because he's the literal devil.

[nothingsodivine]

Well, I don't think Az is infallible... [Muttered under his breath, mostly off-handedly. Spike can mostly get the impression that Des isn't really trying to bluff as he is... stating a fact. He genuinely knows how it sounds. He just doesn't seem to care.

But Elena seems to be the one in the hot seat, so he'll let her field that one without further interjection.]

[doubletake]

[It would be difficult for Spike to get a read on Elena on a good day, but apparently it's even harder than usual.

Is there kool-aid involved? Is she saying what she's saying because she wants to or because she has to? Is she being 100% honest or is she trying to exude a facade?

Who the fuck knows? Sounds like her life, honestly. She's always been pretty adaptable. Must be the whole changeling thing.]

Whether he's infallible or not has nothing to do with it. We all need someone who will stand beside us through thick and thin, don't we?

[bigbad]

[Spike is pretty sure that Des, at least, is being forthright with him. Elena, he just can't tell. Either she's being honest or she's gotten so good at lying that he just doesn't know.]

Thought you had that already.

[doubletake]

I did. I still do. It wasn't myself I was talking about.

[She'll stand beside those she loves no matter who they are or what they're capable of. That hasn't changed.]

I'm still here, even though I shouldn't be. I want to be here. You all haven't been replaced. My life is just...bigger than it used to be.

[nothingsodivine]

Do you really think we'd be here if we didn't care? [Des looks at Elena as if trying to ask permission, and then goes on.] If this were all a trick, both of us have had plenty of time to do unthinkable shit to you all before we got found out. It's as simple as that. A long game involving fucking with you all, especially given everything we've done to help you lot, just doesn't make sense.

We just want to help, and no one is going to listen to us or allow it unless we have something to offer, and everyone expects us to be the bad guys anyway. There's no winning here.

[Des hisses, seemingly aware that he's said a bit too much and stands up.] You two can keep talking. I need a drink.

[bigbad]

Get me one too.

[Is he planning on coming back? Spike doesn't know. But if he does, he better bring Spike alcohol.

They're both defensive. He's not entirely surprised, even if he isn't actually trying to be on the attack. He's trying to listen to them. He wants to believe they really are still on their side. They're just... making it bloody hard.]

And for future reference "we could have done unthinkable shit" isn't the most compelling argument ever.

[doubletake]

That's what you'd expect from us, isn't it?

[She lifts her brows at Spike as Des walks away, though if anything, her posture relaxes as he leaves, as if some sort of weight is lifted off her shoulders now that she's alone.

Well, not alone, per say, but just the two of them.]

This isn't exactly the easiest place to talk. Seeing as I've already been directly threatened once on this trip, and not by our enemies, it's hard not to be apprehensive.

[bigbad]

You have no idea what I'd expect.

[He expects them to be his friend. It's them who keep telling him he should expect the worst.]

Fine, but we're going to have a conversation soon. Just you and me. I have too many questions.

[doubletake]

[She's quiet before she finally relents:]

Maybe not.

[She hesitates again before she concedes with a nod.]

I have a feeling the others won't like that, but I can give you that. I can promise I'll answer what I can. [She breathes out then, as if something else in on the tip of her tongue. She wets her lips before she presses them together, and when she speaks, she sounds almost...sad.] You know, I had never even thought about what it must be like for you, to never be able to feel the rays of the sun against your skin. Do you ever miss it?

[It might seem like a random question, but she seems to earnestly want to hear his answer.]

[bigbad]

Do you really think I give a crap about what the others like? [He's stood by Dumage since the beginning. He hasn't decided if he's standing by Des or Elena yet, but they're his friends. He's going to make that choice for himself.]

Hard to miss what you can't remember. [He shrugs.] I was a vampire when I came through the veil, and I forgot almost everything. That includes how the sun feels when it isn't burning me.

[doubletake]

I think you should if it potentially gets you branded a traitor, too.

[They're not going to trust her for anything, not anymore. She knows that, and she's quite certain that anyone that's associated her from here on out will be deemed the same.]

A shame. [Most people haven't forgotten as much as she has, she thinks. Spike and Buffy might be the closest, though, if she remembers right.] I wonder if that makes it easier or more difficult, to not remember it at all rather to not be able to experience it but remember how it feels.

[bigbad]

Easier I'd wager. My only memories of the sun are of it burning. Makes it hard to want to experience it. Where is all this coming from?

[doubletake]

What light I'm used to comes from fire or magic. There is no sun. I try to enjoy it while I can.

[And it's been a very long time since she's seen it.

There's an almost dainty shrug of her shoulders as if she isn't sure of the answer herself.]

After a day like today, it's nice to talk about something a little more mundane, isn't it? I just...wanted to talk to you.

[There's only so many things she can talk about at present, but she's trying.]