knightsoflegend | OPEN ♔ I'LL FIND IT IN MYSELF TO GIVE THIS ONE MORE SHOT

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OPEN ♔ I'LL FIND IT IN MYSELF TO GIVE THIS ONE MORE SHOT

WHO || Francesca and YOU [open]
WHAT || It's been a long couple of days for some and an eternity for others.
WHERE || Knights HQ; the medical wing
WHEN || Wednesday, April 11
HOW || Either actionspam or prose, multiple threads.

Francecsa's alive for quite a while before she actually comes to, her breathing slow and even. When she finally begins to rouse, her body is first to react, although it's movements and changes are slight, such as a finger twitch or a more exaggerated exhale. Her mind is a little slower to perk up, as it's quite the sensory overload to suddenly return from nothingness to life, but she soon feels the darkness give way to coherency.

The room itself isn't very stimulating, and while the lack of provocation helps her brain focus on waking up, it does nothing to ease the rapid assault of memories that are subsequently flashing behind closed eyelids. As her reminiscing approaches her present condition, her chest starts to rise and fall much more desperately. When she finds herself practically gasping for air, she finally opens her eyes in hopes it will stop the violent spinning in her head.

She knows she's not alone. She can feel him in the room, Christos that is. When her eyes shoot open, on top of the fear, she feels a sudden panic that maybe he isn't here, and this feeling is just from reliving so many memories of him at once. With the room spinning, it's impossible for her to immediately locate him, though, and she finds she can't really just move, the soreness in her body complete. All this just fuels her hyperventilation even more, and she gives up focusing on anything but just breathing for a couple seconds, desperately hoping she's somewhere safe, and not alone.

* * * * *

After he leaves, she just sleeps more, not trusting herself to walk anywhere, let alone all the way to her room. So she'll just hang out in the cleric wing, drifting in and out of nightmare-accompanied sleep. She wakes in a panic several times, desperately trying to free herself from whatever it is she's dreaming about. She can't really stop any visitors, not that she'd mind a few good words right now anyway.

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Now she has to fight the terrifying flash of memory from that night, and she closes her eyes briefly in an attempt to combat the disgust. However, by the way she tenses, and the change in her face, it's obvious the statement has sparked something.

She takes a deep breath, opening her eyes to look down at her hands. "I doubt many of them could have conceived of such carnage."

"They didn't understand the nature of the Spider's society," he says, with evident scorn. "Just like children, playing with something they couldn't possibly comprehend."

"Of course, it's not as if they sought this out." She's not arguing with him though, simply making a statement. "At least now the situation can be dealt with more effectively."

She looks back up at him after a second of contemplation and asks hesitantly, "Do you think my actions were foolish?"

How is he even supposed to answer this.

Oh, wait, probably "no" but that's way too straightforward and kind of him, so of course he has to say something else entirely, no matter what he means.

"You should have contacted someone. Backup. Weren't Ethan and Arthur meant to be protecting you?"

She stares at him for a couple seconds, her face unchanging. Perhaps she was just expecting such a response. It could have been worse.

"And how do you think they would have fared against that kind of enemy? There wasn't enough time to call for backup. It all happened very quickly, a matter of seconds, really. You weren't there. You didn't see..." She trails off, shaking her head and looking away.

"I could have most likely gotten away, if I'd stayed hidden. Or I could have called for backup and waited, and it would have to been too late to save anyone. I just didn't think I could live myself if I did nothing." Her voice is not as emotional as she expected it to be, but she still strains to get out the last few words.

Thanks to the emotional turmoil that confession stirs up in him, he's prompted to say something he hadn't meant to, the words spilling out like lava boiling over. "I was there. I saw all of it."

Her head snaps back in his direction, her guilt and heartbreak evident on her face. She feels like she just got the wind knocked out of her and it takes her a few seconds to do anything but gape at him.

"I don't understand." She very clearly remembers him not being there, after all. "What do you mean 'you were there'?"

Well, crap, now he's backed himself into a corner with his big mouth.

"We arrived... just as it happened." The heavy weight of guilt makes his gaze droop. "Moments too late."

She scoots her legs up closer to her body, turning in his direction. "Christos, I..." Actually, she doesn't know what to say. "I didn't want you to be there." The words stumble out in a long exhale.

"I should certainly hope not." It comes out a bit more harshly than he wishes. But what can you do.

For the first time since she woke up, she feels the full weight of all this. Thinking back to that fateful moment is making her woozy. "That's not what I meant..." She leans her forehead against her palm to steady herself and takes a deep breath.

He watches her with sharp eyes for a moment, chewing on his words. "... Perhaps I should leave you to rest."

That kind of snaps her out of it and she looks back in his direction, giving him a weak but grateful smile. "Thank you for waiting... here. With me."

"Yes, well... the clerics couldn't be in attendance at all hours." Implying that when they were, he wasn't in here. Nope. Not at all.

"I'm glad you were here when I woke up." And not someone like Solace. She sighs, leading into her next sentiment. "You have no idea how much it means to me."

He meets her gaze and holds it for a long moment, uncertain of what to say. It seems all wrong to him, that she should be anything but angry over how he hadn't saved her, after all.

"I'm certain you'll have your share of visitors."

She gives a little grimace. "That's nice, but I can't say I'm feeling particularly social right now." She subconsciously runs a hand through her hair. "And I'm sure I look fabulous." Yep, that really is part of her concern right now.

"You've been dead for three days, I'm not certain who would hold your looks against you." Wow, he is the worst person at comforting ever.

That sort of... hits her right in the face and she blinks a couple times, not really put off, but more just surprised.

"Three days." She hadn't really considered the time she must have lost until now. Not like that's much time when faced with losing the rest of your lifetime. She looks thoughtful for a couple seconds, before she slowly moves her eyes back up to his. "Do you know how long it usually takes someone to fully recover after," she makes a very slight motion with her hand, "all this?"

"I imagine that would depend on what you mean by 'fully'."

"Is it strange, despite how many years I've been doing this, I never truly considered being in this position? It's not as if I've never been subjected to the fear of death." She looks down slightly, a clear thought entering her mind. "It's the concept of what to do with the gift of an undeserved second-chance."

"What do you mean, undeserved?" The words are almost snapped out, as if the phrase offends him personally.

"I didn't think anyone just deserved the right to come back from the dead." She just looks at him a little strangely, keeping her voice calm.

"If the gods felt that way, they'd never have handed mortals the power of resurrection in the first place." Okay, that was a weak argument, seeing as how they'd also handed them the power to do plenty of shadier things, but whatever.

"I wish I possessed your confidence in the generosity of the gods."

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