new orleans ♔ the man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud | but nobody ever hears him

[shootfirst]

WHO || Thomas, Jack, Gar, Kat, Dumage, Mark, Myri, Buffy, Finnick, Spike, Rafael, Des, Elena [Closed]
WHAT || Various downtime shenanigans
WHERE || Various locations, New Orleans
WHEN || Tuesday Oct 16th - Oct 28th [Backdated]
HOW || Actionspam, don't sweat tag order!!

[[ Several of the Knights discovered a secret room hidden in Nova Headquarters, full of strange occultish paraphernalia and guarded by monstrous warriors. Amid this was direct evidence of an interest in the Talisman. They also took captive Chad Becksworth's personal assistant, Olean Gilbert, who has information about the location of the mysterious woman that Burt told Finnick about - the one whose presence has had a major effect on Chad's personality. Olean doesn't even know the woman's name, calling her the "Mind Master", and identifying her as Chad's 'advisor'.

The Knights also discovered that the other Dragon's Claw, Sir Jack Chessing, had followed his own secret mission to Nova Headquarters, and he'll be meeting back at the hotel with them to explain what brought him there...

This log covers any non-work related shenanigans the Knights have while staying in New Orleans, immediately following the last log and extending over the next two weeks.

Make your own threads, don't fuss about tag order, feel free to threadjack multiple people into one thread for hang-outs, ask me if you want a certain scene with an NPC, etc. forever whatever.]

Comments

[chessing]

Actually, I was here to ask you the same. [ he walks in, skirting the edge of the room to come around to her other side ] It's been some time since we had occasion to speak, after all.

[slay]

You've been busy. [ she provides his excuse for him, making it clear she thinks he needs one. ] Evil prime minister and all. B-But, we've been managing. Uh, obviously, seeing as we're here and running into you. [ which he obviously knew. a beat. her brow furrows, lips purse. ] I'm okay. I'm - I've been okay. Some ... might even say eight months of okay. [ SINCE HE'S NEVER BEEN IN PERSON DURING ANY OF THAT TIME. ]

[chessing]

So I've heard. Quite impressive, as always, what Sir Gar has to say about you.

[ a pause and then he says ] I'm quite glad the two of you have got on so well.

[slay]

Well, I'm not. [ it's bratty and indignant and she can't help but let it slip out, no matter how much she regrets it because now she has to explain and go down the road of talking about what she'd been really good at avoiding. ] I'd be glad if I'd got on so well with the knight I was actually squired to. Oh, but that's right - he wasn't around.

[dragonsclaw]

[ he fixes her with a very intense look that seems more slightly disapproving ... or disappointed, than it does entirely sympathetic ] I see.

Very well, then. If you'd prefer, we can enact an official transferal of your squiring.

[slay]

[ there's a sharp twinge of hurt in her expression and it settles into something taken aback. she hadn't exactly sat around imagining what he might say to what she had never planned to have come out of her mouth, but that wouldn't have made the list. maybe argue with her, make excuses, reluctantly comfort her, or reassure her that he'd be around more now. but this? trying to just ... just shove her off on someone else? it'd have been better if he'd just done it from the start. now it was insult to injury. ]

What?

[dragonsclaw]

I've many failings, Buffy, certainly, but I'm not so blind to the comments you've made to me over those months to be unaware of your sentiments towards me. And your disappointment in this arrangement. [ now there's definite regret in his voice, as he folds his hands behind his back, pacing slowly ] For which I certainly apologize in regards to whatever sense of isolation you may have suffered.

However, Wynn was aware of the limitations of my mentorship when he assigned you as my squire -- and again, when he assigned me to the mission that would unfortunately stretch over such an unexpectedly long period of time. I wish I could insist it would be different - that I could remain here, or see you through every obstacle, but in truth, if I had made that the focus of these past eight months, many lives would have been lost, and I give you more credit than to think you would find that preferable.

It is not entirely uncommon for squires and their mentors to speak only when necessary. It is, in fact, in many situations, a matter of course, as you might see, for example, in Sir Odair and Sir Hasmed. The primary reason for the relationship is to facilitate the squire's entrance into Knighthood, to determine their readiness. And I had determined your worth within a day of meeting you. But I felt as if you had not. [ he speaks quietly now, as he comes to a stop, saying quite firmly: ] You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Buffy.

[ he looks up again ] I knew you had companionship in Sir Gar and Sir Samcelot, as well as your fellow squires, that they could address your basic questions about Knighthood, probably with more candor than someone of my age, in a way you were more likely to understand. You've had people to rely on, to learn from, but you've also had time to try and rely upon yourself.

But... if this is how you truly feel, I was wrong. I had hoped things might work out differently, in many ways. But I won't hold you to a contract which you get nothing out of. You'll be a great Knight, Buffy, but I can't take any credit for your being one.

[slay]

[ as he speaks, she turns away from him, pacing, trying to fight back the welling tears in her eyes. because she can't face the disappointment that seems to hang in how regretful he sounds. like he wishes he hadn't been stuck with her at all. and god, no wonder. he made it sound like she'd screwed it all up. she took a deep breath, and found herself on the verge of shouting sharply as she turned back to look at him. ]

Well how was I supposed to know that? How was I supposed to know any of that? I haven't done this before, I haven't - I haven't done anything before.

I've never had another Knight, I've never known how any of this was supposed to go. I sat here, and I watched … Myri, Martha, and Sven, and -- God, even Spike, and Lan hated him. Why wouldn't I think that was how it was supposed to be?

I tried to be strong, and - and good at being alone, but I almost died. [ the tears burned behind her eyes and she felt the prickle of a few starting to slide down her cheeks. ] I've been hallucinating, seeing - seeing demons that nobody else can see. How am I supposed to feel ready when that's all I can remember, and you never once told me any of this?

[ she'd been scrambling blindly for the approval that she apparently had always had, from someone who'd never be able to actually see her, that she couldn't have felt less. ]

You want to know why I didn't seem ready? Because I never felt anything but alone. I never had the support to tell me - this is what ready looks like. I can do this. [ with more certainty, she adds; ] And, I can. I've been doing it for months, just me. I was never worried about whether or not I could do it. I just didn't want to do it alone.

[chessing]

[ he sighs slightly. ] Buffy, I'm trying to tell you that I understand your cause for being upset, but that there's nothing I can say at all to undo what's been done already. I'm not certain why you feel that you were entirely alone in all this, when from all of what I've seen here, you've settled in remarkably admirably, and gained the respect and loyalty of all of your comrades. Any of them would do almost anything for you, but I'm not certain they would appreciate the implication that their loyalty and friendship counts for less than mine would.

I want to help you, to get to know you even, but you've taken it personally that I'm a Dragon's Claw, and that my duties differ from most other Knights. [ he doesn't say it outright, but there's something in the ever-so-slight slump of his shoulders that makes it apparent: he's incredibly hurt by the implication that he'd ever neglect her on purpose, and doing his best to maintain that british stiff upper lip ] I've no desire to cause you any more inner torment, or to impact your self-esteem so strongly.

[ he looks up at her finally ] I'd stay your Knight if you wanted it, Buffy, but I see no evidence to suggest you'd prefer matters that way.

[slay]

They're not you. I don't want another knight. [ she deflates, guilt washing over her at him pointing out her petulance, and the saddened look that accompanies it. ] I want you to not be giving up on me right now.

[chessing]

I would never give up on you, Buffy. You're misconstruing the situation, because you seem intent on villainizing my behavior. [ his brow furrows and he looks baffled by where she's coming from with that. ] But if I'm the Knight that you want, our conversations have to be able to extend past dissatisfaction over the limitations of my availability. Having that simmer under every moment of our relationship won't allow for the productive union you're hoping for. [ he frowns ] That I'm hoping for, whether you choose to believe that or not.

I'm here now, and you have me at your disposal. As a mentor or friend, if that's what you're looking for, but not to be guilted for what has been beyond my control because of the oath of my office - something I endeavored to warn you about at the very outset of this partnership.

[slay]

[ there was a tenseness that straightened her shoulders at that, and she hedged a little, appraising him. because when he put it like that, she wasn't really sure what she wanted out of him.

she'd wanted those things at the start, for the past however many months when she couldn't have it, but thanks to his genius plan, she'd gotten by without it and learned to rely on herself instead, which left her unsure of what to do with it now that she did have it. that was why she'd come down here in the first place.

she shook her head, reaching up to wipe sweat away from her forehead with the back of her hand. ]

I don't ... [ she struggled through her own muddled feelings and found what she was looking for. ] I don't know how to act with you here. I - I got so used to you not being here, that it's like ... I'm supposed to wait, right? And let you mentor, and guide, and assign, and defer to your wisdom. But, I don't need any of that. I've been doing that all on my own. I don't know that I know how to ... defer. [ she deflated a little, finding the explanation lacking but the best she could manage. ]

[dragonsclaw]

[ something seems to click from her explanation, as if all this makes much more sense to him ] ... I certainly never expected you to defer to me anymore than anyone else when I arrived. I apologize if that's the impression that was made.

[slay]

I'm not? [ she says it in a tone of BUT THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO. ]

[chessing]

My role is as a guide and adviser, not an employer. I'm not here to issue you orders. You already have your orders -- and you are already operating under a team leader.

[slay]

Well, yeah, but, I mean there's the team leader, and then there's my leader. And that's kinda you. Like - Like Kat always told Myri where she wanted her to be working.

[chessing]

I can offer advice -- as I attempted to do in the briefing -- but do you feel you require someone to tell you what to be working on? [ he raises one eyebrow, as if skeptical of the idea ]

[slay]

I. Well. ... No. Not really.

[dragonsclaw]

Then for me to appear and attempt to assert sudden authority would be to try to strip you of what agency you already possess. Our goal is to create Knights who have the strength to operate beyond simply following orders. And I know that one of the reasons Wynn chose to assign you to me was that he felt assured from meeting with you that you had the ability to make those important calls already, a part of your very nature, perhaps. He thinks of you as someone with leadership potential, and what I've heard of your fieldwork speaks to that.

And now I hope for a chance to see some of it for myself.

[slay]

So, what you're saying is ... I don't really have to change anything. You're here to - well, to help - but as observe-o-guy too. A-And I just ... keep doing what I was already doing? Unless I need you. Spontaneously.

[chessing]

Or even under less spontaneous circumstances.

[slay]

[ there's a long beat as she considers this because it seems, well, a lot less complicated and confusing and basically she overthought this epically and it's sinking in. oops. ]

Okay. I can do that.

[dragonsclaw]

That applies to now, as well, if you had anything else you wished to discuss.

[slay]

Well there is one thing ... [ she shifts, uncomfortable, then starts to unwrap her hands, settling in and taking a seat on a workout bench to get comfortable because this is gonna take a while. ] Do you know a lot about demons? Like ... crawly, sometimes-invisible ...

[chessing]

I can't say I've had much experience, first hand, although I've heard... accounts. Not everyone believes them, in this world, but I always have.