knightsoflegend | chicago ♔ weep not for the memories

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chicago ♔ weep not for the memories

WHO || Buffy, Spike, Finnick, Myri, Dawn, Archer, Elena, Kat, Gar, Mark, Burt, Des, Rafael, Violet, Francesca, Luthir. [closed]
WHAT || Eterna Jade's funeral service
WHERE || Temple of Corellon, Chicago
WHEN || July 8th, 2013
HOW || Actionspam

[ While there is no temple to Sehanine located in the city limits, there is a large church erected to the elven god Corellon, and it's there that the funeral service itself is to be held, before Jade's body is taken to be laid to rest. The temple itself is a magnificent sight, made to appear as if it's been carved out of a large tree. High above them, the ceiling is made to replicate the night sky in vivid, magically reproduced detail, even in the middle of the day: not a painting, but a maintained illusory spell. A full moon hangs there, surrounded by the stars, an appropriate setting for remembering the life of the daughter of the sacred elven moon goddess.

Violet, using Burt's funds, has taken care of everything, arranging for the priest here to conduct an authentic elven funeral service, and also taking the liberty of being in charge of all decorations of the temple for the occasion. The temple is literally swimming in flowers: jasmine, lilies, white violas and moonflowers - absolutely all of them pristine and white, with the exception of some sunflowers set for accent.

Jade's body is laid among more of these flowers, in a casket on a raised dais, also clothed in white silk. Even in death, she possesses an uncanny beauty that's difficult to look away from. Quiet, ethereal, mournful music fills the room, creating a very otherwordly, sanctified atmosphere.

Except, of course, as the guests arrive and begin to seat themselves in the carved wooden pews, it's impossible to miss Burt buzzing around, helping a camera crew set up in the back of the church. This tends to detract a little from the overall effect, just a bit. ]

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[Des stands and stops Burt on the way up. ] Great speech. Now turn the cameras off.

[I CAN'T ROLL AN INTIMIDATE CHECK RN. MAYBE HE DIDN'T CRIT FAIL.]

[ /rolls for you and makes Burt fumble pulling out a cigarette and drop it, des unnerves him so much. He mumbles: ] Yeah, fine. Give me two shakes. [ and pulls out a second smoke, because stooping is weakness. Then he heads towards the crew at the back. ]

[Elena just looks a little amazed, because that was actually pretty touching. She...probably would have teared up more, had it been anyone but Burt (will save 16).]

[No one doubt Vi's ability to collect good funeral speeches, okay. She is a professional. Burt made her cry a little, let's not talk about it. (No one is surprised.)]

[ francesca's watching burt move to the back with obvious interest, now being able to put a face to the identity of the becksworth holding finnick's recording contract. she's also scoping the crowd and the exits (spot 34) for anything suspicious. ]

[Archer looks over at Elena]

Well. At least Burt wasn't speaking... Greek... Or, you know... Whatever - Not Greek, because... I mean, I speak Greek - and that was not it.

But...

Damnit. You know what I mean, right?

[He pulls a flask from his jacket and takes a swig]

♬- Come Home Angel- Dan Wilson

[As soon as he's finished with Burt, Des stalks up to the podium, carrying his hat with him. He lays it on the podium and produces five pages of wrinkled printed sheets and tries to smooth them out in front of him. For a second or two he just stares at them, unsure of where to begin, even though he literally has the words in front of him. And then he ducks his head, huffs a sigh, and looks out at the assembled group.]

I had a guy write me this big speech- something suitable for an elvish funeral. Something impersonal that wasn't gonna choke me up or rip my heart out and show it to everyone. And then I realized that the that Jade liked about me was that I was real and I was honest and by getting someone who didn't know her to make up some shit about her, I was doing the thing that was killing her before she died. Pretending. The fact is- Jade loved me because I was real. So screw it.

[He pulls a lighter out of his pocket and sets the pages on fire, holding them while they burn.] I didn't know her that long. I knew what some would say was a shadow- a girl missing a chunk of herself, shaped from years of loving a man who definitely wasn't me. But that's not true. Those memories weren't all there was to Jade. She was broken, but she wasn't defective. She wasn't empty.

[The fire reaches his fingertips and he shakes his hand, letting ash scatter across the floor in front of him. It's a nice distraction, while he composes himself. (will save 20 total)]

I'm not the kind of guy who's really thrilled to wake up every morning. When I was with her... I didn't think every day I was still breathing was such a curse. No one's ever had that effect on me before. Not like that. She had something. Something that lost memories or whatever the hell she suffered from couldn't take from her. She had life.

[He pauses, turning to look at the body in the coffin before tearing his eyes away and gripping the podium to finish, through gritted teeth.]

And, for a little while, she made me appreciate mine. [He barely manages to keep from crying when he steps away from the podium and back to his seat (will save 13).]

Edited 2013-08-05 23:22 (UTC)

[Elena looks at Archer, eyes following the flask. Because as much as she shouldn't, she would love to take a swig off of that too.]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[She looks sympathetic, before she turns to pay attention to Des' speech...and she totally turns into a weepy mess (will save 9). Ugh, too many feelings.]

[Listening to Des, Myri has a hard time holding back her emotions- holding back everyone's emotions. Even if this moment is meant to celebrate life, there's so much grief in the hearts of so many and it gets to her (will save 12). She's not falling apart, but tears do slip down her cheeks and she tilts to lean her head against Finnick's shoulder.]

[ gar's the only one of the npc knights present to look a little misty eyed as she sadly watches des dismount the steps. her eyes skate to kat who is just... frowning and looking very unmoved by all of this, as she shifts uncomfortably in place. what are feelings. ]

[ rafael doesn't even move from his chair despite it being his turn, because des' words pushed him over a breaking point and there's tears breaking down his cheeks, and he's having a difficult time getting them to stay gone when he swipes at them. and how is he supposed to words now ]

[Scooting forward in her seat, she puts a hand of Raf's shoulder to get his attention, asking quietly, ] Do you need me to stall so you have a minute?

[ quietly: ] ... Si, perhaps it would be best. Do you have something you can say?

For you, I will find something to say.

[Squeezing Luthir's hand, she stands and lets go, carefully making her way to the podium so she doesn't trip. She glances at the body and doesn't seem to mind being in such close proximity before taking a deep breath. This can't be harder than her last speech.]

The funeral home gave me tips on how to not cry when doing this. I wasn't going to, mind you, I didn't think I would have anything to say, but I thought that was funny. Why wouldn't I cry? I am sad and upset and if I need to cry, well ya'll are going to have to just watch me.

I didn't know Jade as well as I would have liked, I didn't find out some things about her until after she died that I would have really loved to talk about with her.

She was... a remarkable woman. She was bright and sweet and she had a wicked sense of humor. She was unaplogetic and a truly amazing musician and it was so obvious she loved what she did. She appreciated the finer things in life, like coffee and fleet week. Ah, fleet week. [She smiles a little, fleet week.]

And she was just a girl. She made mistakes and she could be a brat and some of her choices... I have personally made it known that I thought they sucked and she should have made different ones, but she was stubborn too and she didn't back down from them. I'm not saying this to... lessen the image of this beautiful woman, but because the people that loved her, we loved her in spite of, and because of that. Because that is what made her Jade -- her smile and her laugh and the way she fought so hard for what she wanted even if it made you want to strangle her a little bit.

She was hard to love sometimes, but it made loving her worth it. And the world is worse off, without her in it.

[She glances at Jade's body again, before stepping down. She's crying, but she already said deal with it.]

Edited 2013-08-06 03:24 (UTC)

[Des has had his head bowed and his hands clasped and pressed to his forehead since he sat down. Once Vi starts talking, he listens and by the end of it all, his shoulders shake in one pathetic half-concealed sob. You'd have to look closely to see the SINGLE MANLY TEAR that escapes, but it's there. (will save 11)]

[ well, vi, congrats, you pushed a ton of people over the feels brink there. gar can't take it anymore, and the tears come out, and EVEN KAT OF THE IRON HEART gets all crumple-faced despite her best efforts to keep it together. watching her squire get all broken up is just too much.

mark wipes some tears away, and luthir looks stricken as she returns that way, watching her with evident concern and sympathy. ]

[ italia, at least, gets it together somehow during all that, and gets up as she comes down. as he passes buffy, he absently reaches out a hand to find hers and squeeze it - not to give her comfort, but because he clearly needs it. ]

[whether it's a brave face or he doesn't know her well enough to relate to what's being said in all the eulogies, he keeps a strong manly face on for the most part. you know, except for a few manly tears. (will save 11) as myri leans against him, he leans in response, his hand searching for and then grasping hers.]

[ will save 14, buffy's heart is a pit in her stomach that aches simply from each speech hammering in that jade's honestly gone, just like that. there are some regrets that begin to surface now that it's too impossible to shut them out, chief among them is the realization that she can't reach out and try to befriend her again - and maybe she should have taken more time while she had it. done more with her, said something more.

rafael's hand jerks her back to reality, out of her thoughts, and she looks over at him through eyes dark with anguish. she squeezes his hand back, drawing up a sad smile to offer him what little strength she has left. she reaches her free hand up, and pats his arm, leaning in to kiss his cheek, mirroring the action he'd taken with her. ]

Go.

[ her voice is low and private, her reassurance and faith reserved for him alone. ]

[ ♬ I Will Remember You - Sarah McLachlan

he holds buffy's gaze for a long moment, and beneath his clearly heavy heart breaks a note of gratitude in his eyes, before he draws away and makes his slow ascent up to the podium.

he takes a long moment to just stare at the casket where jade's body rests, his tears very gracefully contained now, brow furrowed, but no quaver in his voice when he finally looks down at the podium again and speaks. ]

There are no words that can speak to the loss of someone like Eterna. I know this well, because this is not the first time I have searched for them.

I lost her, once before, and spent many fruitless hours trying to turn the pain into the only language we both felt could encompass such emotions: music. To find the notes that could hold the loss of her smile, the melody that could express the pain of never again hearing her voice or her laugh.

I was never satisfied. Because these things are inexpressible, these holes her absence leaves in those who knew her. You need only listen to the words others have spoken, who met her only on a few occasions, or for a short time, to grasp how much of an impact she left on those she encountered. She was larger than this world, and perhaps that is why it was never fit to hold her.

[ he takes in a long breath before plunging on: ] When I lost her the first time, I held onto the words she had left with me, made them a litany upon my heart, built everything upon them. She had told me to never let go, and I thought I understood exactly what that meant. To hold onto what we had had, to hope of finding a way to be together once more in spite of the oceans of obstacles that lay between us. To let nothing shake that faith, and to pursue it at all costs.

[ his eyes involuntarily seek out des and buffy, lingering on the latter, and holding there as he says: ] I was wrong. About a great many things, but mostly about how I interpreted her words. What I chose to see in them.

I thought she was asking me to never let go of our love, but she was telling me to never let go of life. Of hope. To not close my eyes to the world, even when all it seemed to offer was despair.

[ he looks up again, across the audience, and then to the casket ] That is who Eterna Jade was. That is the woman I loved. And I have been a fool to lose sight of that, in the face of my own desperation. I have made choices she would think ill of me for, given in to the side of myself she thought I could rise above.

But I know that she would never give up on me for them. She would never let go of her faith in me and for this, I see a reason to press on.

I could speak at length of the kind of woman she was, of the moments we had together, of the things she brought to my life, but I can think of nothing she would wish to hear more than to know that I believe I finally understand what she tried so many times to tell me. And that I only wish it had not come too late, and at such a price. [ and now a few tears come, and he thumbs them away ] It will not be easy, to try to embrace this message, but Eterna was never about what was easy. As Violet said, she was a woman who would fight for what she wanted - and so I can only honor her by doing the same. Fighting.

[ a moment of hesitation, and then he leans forward to the mic to say: ] Goodbye, dolcezza. [ and he turns and walks to the casket's edge to place a hand on top of her still folded ones for a lingering moment, before he turns and walks back towards his seat, eyes scraping the floor.

after a pause, the priest steps up to say: "Rafael would like to perform a song in Eterna's honor... however, before he does this, are there any others who wish to speak?" ]

[DES CRIT FAILED HIS WILL SAVE.

So somewhere halfway through Rafael's speech, he grits his teeth, bows his head, and starts full-on quiet ugly crying, and by the time the priest steps up, he's excused himself from the proceedings and made a complete beeline for the back door.

He needs a moment, okay.]

[ guess who's standing to the side of the doors, quietly here in the back. go on, guess.

he doesn't say anything to des, but he does watch him come, tears in his own eyes. and steps aside wordlessly. ]

[ yeah gar has now officially LOST IT over here, crying her eyes out, while kat ... pulls it together because gar's crying is super awkward. she sure doesn't want to be that guy. ]

[Elena's apparently being strong for everyone else now (will save 22) and has dry eyes, even if her heart feels like it's collapsing.

She sees Des up and walk out though (spot nat 20...), so she's going to go after him because someone should check on him, apologizing to those she's leaving in the process.]

Excuse me.

[And then she moves to the door and follows Des outside.]

[The moment Rafael walks up to speak, she knows that it's coming. And she can only imagine the effect his words will have on everyone she cares about, so she turns her gaze downward, focusing on her hand in Finnick's and she braces herself for it. It works, but she is definitely not looking up for awhile, for fear of breaking her safe little bubble (will 21).]

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