chicago ♔ but close my eyes for a while | and force from the world a patient smile

[shootfirst]

♬ Evil - Interpol

WHO || Spike, Francesca, Archer, Myri, Finnick, Elena, Buffy, Des, Gar, Mark, Kat, Rafael, Isabella, Jaka, Burt, Violet, Luthir, Val'drin, ??[Closed]
WHAT || The Knights prepare for the trial of Rafael Giovanni and face a few revelations along the way
WHERE || Various locations, Chicago
WHEN || July 17th - November 21st  [Back AND Forward dated]
HOW || Actionspam, don't sweat tag order!!


The trial of Rafael Giovanni looms on the horizon, as summer gives way to fall, the chill in the air creating a definite atmosphere of foreboding as the date grows closer. It's not merely Rafael's freedom on the line after all - but also Des', thanks to the deal he struck with Iscariot. While Francesca and Val'drin work to uncover the secret of the mysterious hourglass artifact, lawyer Jaka Teken'Duis uses his ... unique legal powers to work towards a "Temporary Insanity" case for Rafael. The Knights, unhappy about the potential ramifications of such a plea, continue to seek any evidence they can to show Rafael was actually innocent, and place conspiracy charges back on Chad Becksworth and his ilk for what transpired. Not everything they learn, however, is what they were hoping to find...

Others wage more personal battles, as the coming autumn signals the encroaching winter, and Luthir and Violet's time draws shorter to find a way to stop her nightmares, lest they kill her. Elena plays a dangerous game, working to uncover more of her nature by training her doppelganger powers - with the enemy.

This log covers any work and non-work related shenanigans the Knights have while staying in Chicago, immediately following the three mission logs and continuing for four months. This will be the Knight's last time in Chicago before the trial: after which they plan to return to the castle to fully Knight Violet and Dawn and decide where to head next.

Make your own threads, don't fuss about tag order, feel free to threadjack multiple people into one thread for hang-outs, ask me if you want a certain scene with an NPC, etc. forever whatever. There will be a few group scenes, which I'll alert everyone to on Plurk. They may not all be posted immediately, so keep an eye on this post for new threads as time goes by. Please wait to post social threads here until we reach a certain point in the top group thread. I will alert you all when you are free to post.

Comments

[witchwoman]

I'm sure he's lovely. He's just- [Not who I wanted to confide in.]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. [At least then she wouldn't be forced to face how terrible this feels. She could have tried to lie to herself a bit longer.] I can...I can go.

[graveflowers]

Don't. Don't apologize, not ever. [ ugh all she wanted was a stupid relaxing night, she should have realized it was all too shitty to actually manage. there were way too many emotions to give happiness a chance. ] And... don't go. Amaranth is comfortable and -- I need some air anyway. You can stay. [ she scoots back, pushing herself off the bed. if she can't make myri feel better, the least she can do is not kick her out, that would be cruel. ]

[witchwoman]

[This is all wrong and all her fault. She should have never brought up her concerns with Finnick. Things were going so well before that... Except they weren't. She had to drag Violet back from being afraid of her new healing powers. They all needed comfort, but finding the way to give it was so much harder than they could have guessed.

She wants to tell Vi to stay, to sit with her and find a movie, to forget she said anything. But that would be what would make Myri feel better, not Violet, wouldn't it? She was the one who feared ending up alone again. And pushing her need to have them close, her need to talk so that nothing could tear them down later... It wasn't fair to make them do things simply because it made it easier for her.

But that didn't make it hurt less.

So she just nods, trying not to look as torn up as she feels.]

Alright.

[graveflowers]

Just... five minutes. [ she disappears out the door, but it's not five minutes before she comes back. it's like one and a half. two minutes, tops, before she bursts back in, falls on to the bed and wraps her arms around myri's shoulders. ]

I'm bad at this. I'm not good at letting people in because it's terrifying and I let Jade in just a little and she died. And I'm not trying to shut you out, Myri, I just know what I feel like all the time and I never want you to feel that way, ever. Which is stupid, right? It should be your choice and I shouldn't make it for you, but I don't know how I can help you and that's scary too and so I ran away because I'm scared and I don't want to put all that on you because it's too much and you worry so much.

[ she takes a breath, hiccuping. ] I'm not good at helping people like you are, I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say or how to make it better. Finnick is my best friend and you're, god, you're my sister, Myri, but I don't know how to help you and I'm sorry.

[witchwoman]

[The door barely closes behind Vi before Myri falls apart, hunching over and crying, not caring if she smudges her still drying nails. Everything feels so wrong, like she's losing control of her life and has no idea where to start to put it back together again.

Lost in thought, she doesn't notice Vi's return until she's being held. She clings back and buries her face into her friend's shoulder, crying through the speech, so relieved to have her there that the words take a few extra moments to register.

They're a mess- all of them. Not just the three in question, but the whole group. But if they can't depend on each other, then it'll never work.]

I only needed this. [She says, very quiet as she tries to clam herself down and regain her voice.] I've felt so... so alone lately. Everyone's fighting, or if they aren't, it's because no one will say a word to each other. I don't know how to fix it. I wish I did. I just want to go back. It was easier then. [She sighs and twists to sit beside Violet, leaning her head on the other girl's shoulder and looping an arm around her waist.]

I just need you here. We don't have to talk about it. I wish we could, but I... I don't know what it's like for you. [Or for Finnick, but she can only handle one strained relationship at a time.] I would take it away if I could. But I can't and that kills me. But what hurts more is sitting here with you and feeling like I can't touch you. Vi... What happened to Jade was terrible and I know you lost something so important when it happened, but... I can't do this on my own. I can't be alone again. I need you.

[graveflowers]

I'm not going anywhere. You're not gonna be alone. [ she feels a little like she's lying, because she can't guarantee that. she already feels like there is too much to cope with, she doesn't know how or if she'll be able to handle it when winter comes. her fingers smooth through myri's hair, the repetative action more soothing to vi than it might be to myri. ] I was never gonna go anywhere, you are stuck with me, Myrilandel. You're my family.

[witchwoman]

[the night comes - eisley

With each passing of Vi's fingers through her hair, Myri takes in another breath to regain her composure. Even after she's breathing steadily and the tears have stopped, she doesn't move from her spot leaned against the other girl.]

And you're mine. [She's still pretty sniffly. And as if to prove a point on his thoughts on the matter, Amaranth comes around and flops beside Vi with his head in her lap. This draws a small laugh from Myri.] It appears we're all rather fond of being stuck with one another.

[graveflowers]

[ she gives amaranth a little pat, before seeming to steel herself for something. ] If you want to talk, I will. It's just... it's a lot. And I'm not good at it, so you're gonna have to gimme some help.

[witchwoman]

Vi... [She lifts her head from the girl's shoulder.] I don't want you to feel like you have to. If you don't want to talk, we don't have to talk. But no matter what, I will always be here to help you in any way that I can.

[graveflowers]

I know I should, I just don't know if I actually can.

[witchwoman]

Maybe just...start. Anywhere. About anything. Usually when you start talking, we have more trouble getting you to stop. [She smiles softly at her light joke and pulls her arm from around Vi's waist for that she can take her hand and squeeze it.]

[graveflowers]

Okay that is... completely true. [ she makes a face at myri like hdu use my personality against me that is so rude. but she also knows myri is right because vi loves to talk.

just not about herself or her feelings. she literally has to preplan explaining herself because otherwise it comes out wrong. ]

[witchwoman]

[Myri manages a light laugh, trying to lighten the situation as if that might help.]

I know you're always thinking, so it's just a matter of thinking out loud. It doesn't have to be in order. It doesn't have to make sense. Let me worry about that part.

[graveflowers]

Like, whatever I'm thinking about? Because, in all honesty with no deflection, all I am thinking about is ordering more pizza... [ she flops back on the pillows, but doesn't take her hands from myri's. ] Maybe questions would be better, so my ADD doesn't get the better or me.

[witchwoman]

[She chews at her lip a little. She's spent so much time trying to avoid these topics that when she's given the chance to ask questions, she isn't sure where to start.]

What are they like- the nightmares? [They've talked about this a little, at least. And from Myri's perspective, it all centers around that, after all. It's a good a place as any to start.]

[graveflowers]

Hell. I mean, probably. I'm just guessing, but I'm pretty sure it's hellish. Which is fitting. [ most difficult question to answer for $500, alex. ] They're...

[ taking one her hands back, she rubs her forehead and covers her eyes. her voice is surprisingly calm and thoughtful, almost as if she is forcing herself to remember them just so she can be able to explain it properly. ] It's every mistake I have ever made, every time I watched someone die and couldn't do anything about it. And... I was in the legion for eleven years in the middle of two wars -- I have made so many mistakes. I don't remember all of them, which is the worst part, the people I don't recognize, the deaths I can't recall no matter how hard I try. [ she pauses there, licking her lips. she hates that she can't remember those people. as if they're not worth it. ] All of them, over and over until I know the dreams by heart, I know what everyone looks like in the moment they die and I still can't do anything about it. I get to watch Jade die over and over and over again, every night, and nothing changes.

[ her voice abruptly wavers. ] It's hopelessness. That's what the nightmares are. No hope, only weakness and how I was useless to save any of those people, and Jade. And then he offers me the power to change it -- the power to protect my family. And one day, I'm sure he's gonna look up. [ and vi still isn't sure she won't say yes. ] But yeah. That's it, all my mistakes and casualties laid out for me. A buffet of useless.

[witchwoman]

[Myri sits and listens, letting Vi explain as best she can. Strangely, she can imagine it. She can think back to the parts of her life that she can still recall, see the people that she wasn't able to save, imagine their deaths played through her mind, one after another. Of course it would be enough to break a person down, enough to make you think so little of yourself. If all you see are your mistakes, how can you ever remember the good you've done?]

Do you... Have you considered his offer? [Not that she wants her to, but more that Myri is afraid of how far worn Violet is at this point. The fact that Mark had been broken, driven to do something that betrayed them all... It made Myri realize that everyone had a point in which they'd consider all possibilities. Her concern shows no judgment. It's just a quiet question to keep her talking.]

[graveflowers]

Every day. But, Des... talked me out of it. [ or rather, reminded her of all the ways in which it could go wrong and all the ways her family could be hurt by her one moment of weakness. it didn't make being near the hourglass any easier (so it was lovely when val'drin absconded with it), but as much as the nightmare lord's taunting ran through her head, so did des' words: you can be stronger than blade gives you credit for. he probably doesn't realize how much she depends on those words though. ]

[witchwoman]

[Myri makes a mental note to buy Des something nice. She just nods and tries to slowly the release the breath she was holding. Going through what Vi has, Myri isn't sure she could do it. Now more than ever, she wishes she had the ability to take it away.]

Have you told Wynn? All of it? He might... Maybe there's someone at the castle who could help. A cleric... [A better one that she was anyway.] Or some other magic.

[graveflowers]

He knows. [ insomuch as vi had told luthir everything and she has no doubt he told wynn, because vi isn't always entirely forthcoming about her nightmares to anyone but luthir... speaking of. ] That's why Luthir is here. For... me. He's trying to figure out how to stop them, we just let people think its for Italia and the trial.

[witchwoman]

[Even if it's yet another secret, Myri is glad to hear it. She makes a note to try to find Luthir sometime soon, to talk to him about things. She may not know him well, but they have something very important in common- how much they care about Violet.]

Has he found anything yet? Any clues for how to stop this?

[graveflowers]

Nope. Apparently it is super hard to stop a god from doing whatever he wants. [ a beat. ] I mean, there are definitely a couple ways but they are both very final and probably involve death so I'm trying to steer clear of those.

[witchwoman]

Please do. [Her smile is weak at the attempted joking.]

I'm glad you have him here... to help.

[graveflowers]

He's pretty handy. [ she returns myri's smile and squeezes her hand in reassurance. ]

[witchwoman]

[Myri sort of wishes she hasn't pushed Vi to this, to talk. Because it isn't as if any of it makes any of this any better. But it's happened and she can't stop it.]

I wish there was something I could...do. Or say. I wish I could help more.