knightsoflegend | nyc ♔ all moonlight returned today

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nyc ♔ all moonlight returned today

WHO || Rafael, Isabella, Burt, Kat, Gar, Mark, Luthir, Buffy, Spike, Finnick, Violet, Elena, Archer, Des [closed]
WHAT || Burt invites everyone to celebrate their victory at the trial at the opening of his new nightclub in NYC
WHERE || New York City, NY
WHEN || Saturday, March 15th [forward dated]
HOW || Actionspam

It's over. After months of being sidelined by the trial of their friend Rafael, the Knights are finally free to return to England and see what headway the Dragon's Claws have made on discovering the location of the Talisman they seek.

But not everyone is so free to return. The consequence of getting Burt's assistance in disentangling Finnick from his contract and super-stardom was an ironclad agreement that allows Burt to sink his claws fully into Rafael's career. Considering that Burt knows their secret identity, non-disclosure agreement or not, the executive's renowned moral gray-itude doesn't exactly make it seem like a great plan to back out on the compromise.

They've at least been able to put off their goodbyes for a few days since the end of the trial, as Burt invited all of them to New York City for the opening of his brand new nightclub. Some of them flew out, while Archer and Des presumably drove their matching El Caminos cross-country in the days between. But now they've all met again in the Big Apple, for a celebration - and farewell of sorts.

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[ raf isn't even looking at the awesome sight, because he's seen it all and he's much more interested in watching the reactions play out on buffy's face. her awe draws a smile out of him, a very genuine smile, joy sparking in his eyes. ] Beautiful, no?

Well, I wouldn't have complained about something more travel-sized, but ... [ she turns to him as she jokes, her brain finally catching up to what's going on and that she should, you know, words. her smile returns immediately. ] Yeah.

[ and in that glittering moment, it's perfect. she slips her hand around his arm and looks back out at the skyline. she doesn't think about how long it will be until he brings jade up and points out how much she would have loved it. she just enjoys the chance to be there with him, and the (relatively) fresh air.

but it only lasts a moment of being left to enjoy the sight and marinate in her thoughts before a much more sinister one creeps in: this is it. the bang before the lights go out and they don't see each other again - maybe ever. the glow in her eyes dulls a little, tinged with sadness as she tries to commit every speck of light to a special place in her memory. ]

[ he watches that tiny shift in her expression, before joining her in gazing out at the lights again, reaching over to wrap his hand over hers on his arm.

finally he speaks up, breaking the silence, and it's clear that his words are each carefully mapped out. ] Buffy...

There is something I wished to ask of you, though I can hardly think of how to do so.

There is no way to say this that is not... [ he frowns, looking down ] immensely selfish of me.

[ turning her face to look up at him, buffy searches his eyes, batting down a mix of apprehension and anticipation welling inside of her courtesy of his preface. she hesitates for a moment before responding. ]

Feeling strangely comfortable with that. [ she doesn't blink. ] What is it?

[ ♬ what dreams are made of (ballad version) - yani gellman & haylie duff ]

Carina, I--

[ he steels himself, turning to look at her, gaze serious. ] I want to ask you to come back with me, to Chicago.

[ he lets it rest there for just a moment, to sink in, before continuing. ] I know that the Knights are a family to you, that your responsibility to them is a part of who you are, a part I cannot in good conscience ask you to give up. And yet, every part of me cries out to, and if I do not, I will spend every day once you have left regretting what I did not say.

You have given me so much, Buffy, and asked for so little. I do not want you to feel that I cannot continue on, were you to choose to go - you've taught me to keep fighting, and I will never forget that lesson. You need not fear for me.

But ... I do not wish to go on without you, if there is a chance I do not have to. You and Isabella are the most important people in my life, and I can only hope that the strength I have found in pushing through all that has occurred can allow me to begin repaying either of you for all you have given me.

I would like that chance. It seems... wrong, to lose it now.

[ she's too stunned to speak long before it all even fully processes. she turns to face him while he explains himself, while he makes his case.

it's everything she's waited for, everything she's wanted, and it never once occurred to her while talking to des about any of it that rafael might actually ask her to come back. that this was ever an option. and for a moment, she entertains the thought. thinks of staying with him, letting go of all of these nightmares that they've been living. building something normal from the ground up, together, and putting it behind them, the way that jade had always wanted for rafael.

she'd told des that she could never leave the knights, could never abandon her family and friends to fight a battle on their own. but myri's gone. the others certainly don't have glowing opinions of her, outside of spike, who she's fairly certain would actually be better off if he weren't around her and actually had a chance to move on. it would be good. they could be happy, they all could.

except that buffy isn't rafael, and she can't walk away from this life the same way that he wants to. there's a fire in her gut that she knows would never stop burning to get back there, to fight for what deserves to be fought for. this is big, bigger than they could have ever imagined, and she can't turn her back on it now. can't turn her back on it ever, maybe, or she'd never be able to forgive herself for not doing everything in her power (and that's a lot of power) to protect people that need protecting, to stop bad guys that need stopping. he deserves all of that and more, but she just can't do it.

her eyes steadily fill with tears, and an agonizing silence spreads between them. they both already know her answer. buffy's expression contorts in her fight to hold back the tears and she looks down, shaking her head, barely holding in the sob that wants to come. the tears don't fall, not yet. she keeps shaking her head, steadily looking back up at him.

it's wrong. all of this is wrong, it's not how it was supposed to be. they were supposed to be in this together, she was supposed to have him at her side and they were supposed to beat this. she wasn't supposed to lose him. her first attempt to speak fails in a stuttered, choked noise. she sniffs in another breath and takes another. ]

I can't. [ tears trickle down her cheeks. she raises one hand to close around the lapel of his suit jacket, then she shifts from gripping it to smoothing it down, trying to rein in her emotions. ] I don't wanna lose you. [ she hurries the words out, panicked. ] But, I can't just walk away. I can't spend every day happy with you, and pretend my friends aren't in danger. I have to protect them. I have to fight.

Carina. [ his entire face seems to crumple, watching the pain she's clearly going through, and he reaches for her, wrapping her tightly in his arms, and pressing his cheek to hers as he squeezes her securely, his own voice thick as he says: ] You cannot lose me. You must know this.

You will never lose me.

[ the hug has the (presumably) opposite intended effect, and she starts to actively sob as he envelops her in an embrace. her hands are shaky and her muscles are tight but she gets her arms up around his shoulders anyway, burying her face against the slope of his shoulder. enjoy the makeup rubbing off on your shirt. she pulls him in tight, tighter than maybe she should but he can take it. she tries valiantly to choke off her sobs, but all she manages to do is fall apart.

unsteadily, she lifts her head, body still trembling with the strength of her sobs. she bites her lower lip to temper them, struggling through the tears to find words while she still has the chance. he can say it all he wants, but this feels a whole lot like losing him, and if it's her last opportunity - ]

I love you.

[ she doesn't expect him to say anything back. but she had to get the words out, had to make sure that he understood how hard it was for her to let him go, to not follow him back to new york. to put the mission first when all she wants is to be buffy for two minutes instead of a knight. ]

[ he doesn't for a moment look surprised by her words. his brows draw together in a sorrowful line as he studies her face, and reaches up to wipe away some of her tears. there's no hesitation, either, as he leans forward to place a lingering kiss on her forehead, with closed eyes. ] I love you too. [ it's very simply stated, less a dramatic proclamation than a basic acknowledgment of something that seems obvious and true, and it's completely unclear as to whether he means the words in a romantic sense or just in the sense of the vast amount of love he is capable of for the people who he grants his loyalty to.

in this moment, somehow, there doesn't really seem to be a necessary distinction. it's clearly a meaningful statement to him, and splitting hairs over what kind of love he feels would seem to diminish the admission, particularly given the baggage she knows he still carries.

his hand slides to the back of her hair, pulling her head to his chest again, trying to calm her shaking. ] Perhaps... perhaps this is for the best, in some way we do not understand. Perhaps some time apart will be good for us.

I don't want the best.

[ she turns her face, this time resting her head against his chest. it seems to calm her down more than the desperate grab of their first hug, though her tone is no less mournful. she shuts her eyes and more tears trickle down, silently this time. her shoulders are still shaking, but the sobs seem to have grown more intermittent. ]

I just wanna be where you are.

[ and it all seems absurd and childish now. they'd always wondered if either could walk away, fully and completely. if that were even possible. and rafael is being offered the chance with no choice to turn it down, and buffy finally has a choice, and she won't take it. can't take it. all she can think about is how she'd rather be fighting with him beside her, be it demons or a more familiar kind of monster. if she were with him, it wouldn't matter. ]

[ his fingers move to rake through her hair, and he drops his lips against the top of her head. ] You are now.

[ he holds that for just a moment, before turning his cheek to say, less murmured: ] Since we know what must come, will you do one thing for me, Buffy?

[ too numb to think or even ask what it is, implicitly trusting, she nods her head. it does little to clear the groggy, congested pressure that crying has filled it with, but she draws back some to look up at him. for the time being, she seems all cried out. ]

[ his eyes drift to the door, and then back to her. ] Dance with me. [ he jerks his head that-a-way. ]

[ the request earns a watery chuckle from her, and she moves her hands to her face, trying to wipe away smeared mascara and somehow rub away the redness in her cheeks. she rolls her eyes a little to give her the illusion of being less distraught. ]

Couldn't have asked for that before my makeup got all runny and my cheeks got all puffy? [ she smooths one hand over her cheek, dropping her other hand, and looks up at him with fondness that's tinged with melancholy. ]

You have never looked more beautiful. [ he brushes the bottom of her chin with the side of his index finger, as if to say 'chin up', smiling for her as he moves to push the door open. ] Per piacere?

[ that earns a smile, and she hides it by ducking her head in direct contradiction of his gesture. she shyly turns her head away, back towards the skyline. she holds up a hand to still him for a moment, resting it against his abdomen. ]

Wait.

[ she stares out at the city lights with heavy longing, after a moment, she looks back up at him, that look in her eyes never wavering. she seems to be satisfied with her lingering, because she turns finally to go inside, haphazardly trying to wipe the result of dried tears and heartbreak off of her face with no more avail than she'd had outside on the roof. ]

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