knightsoflegend | manhattan ♔ there is no knot so steadfast | it won't go broke in the middle of monsoons

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manhattan ♔ there is no knot so steadfast | it won't go broke in the middle of monsoons

♬ two years before the mast - astronautalis

WHO || Violet Reedhym, Luthir Reedhym, Myrilandel de Tanos, Finnick Odair, Anastacia O'Keefe, Faith O'Keefe, Nicholas Starkweather
WHAT || The Knights attempt to free Vi from the influence of the Nightmare God Malaak'a
WHERE || Manhattan, New York
WHEN || June 7th, 2014
HOW || Actionspam. Single thread.

Some choices are almost impossible to make. For a year, the Knights have watched Violet fading, the way she always does with the winter thanks to her connection to her mother Persephone. Except in this case, there was no getting better with the arrival of spring. If anything, she's only spiraled further into depression, and it's clear that if this continues, it will spell the end of her sooner than later.

Keijen Blade appeared to several of the Knights in their dreams, to caution them of Vi's impending fate, and to tell them that their plan to save her will end in blood. Of course, he had his own alternative to offer: that she take a deal from Malaak'a that would allow the god to see through her eyes into this world. Realizing that the plan offered by Sehanine to use Faith O'Keefe's dreamwalking ability to sever the connection might simply result in someone giving their life to save hers, Vi agreed to take the offer in one month. However, on the evening of their wedding, Luthir talked her into going through with the goddess' plan, promising not to go into her dream with them.

Their car pulls up in front of Des' horrible rundown apartment building, where they're meant to track down Nicholas Starkweather - a friend of Des', who is apparently also a unicorn. Look, he knows people.

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No. [ it's a weak, pleading moan at best and her head starts to shake. the rest of her starts trembling as well. ] I can't do this again.

[ it's always the same, memories flowing into one another like a messy collage of failures. some faster, some barely discernible, some she doesn't even remember. but then it ends here, where it started for her and it's in real time, strereo and color and she remembers every horrifying second of it. mark behind her, myri by the edge of the stage and finnick staring in horrified disbelief at her back.

her stomach heaves in horror and one hand presses against it like that will hold it all in. her eyes drift down again. she can't be. except for all the ways she definitely could be, it's not as if either she or luthir gave much of a fuck about protection, no matter the pointed glances and come to jesus talks finnick gave her. her fingers tighten and she swallows, fighting against tears and terror as she turns to faith.

this is the last one before malaak'a. she doesn't want any of them to get that far. she can't do this again and it will be the last time. one way or the other. her bright eyes are still sad and scared, but that constant defeat and sorrow has been replaced with a very, very shaky resolve. ]

What do I have to do?

[ because she can't stop jade from dying. she can't stop rafael from shooting. she can't stop roger james from existing. but she can stop this. she just can't look back.

that's worked out so well in the stories, after all. ]

Edited 2014-06-13 15:29 (UTC)

The 'lesson' of this nightmare seems to be what? That you're not strong enough to save your friends. That if you took what he could give you, you would be.

[ she shakes her head as the darkness starts to dissolve around them, slowly revealing that they're backstage. ] But I can give you limited control of your actions in the dream. He's not the one in charge right now. You are. So we have to show him just how strong you really are. Already. [ she reaches over and grabs vi by the shoulder ] So I want you to tell me what makes you strong. And let what's happening out there? [ she waves a hand vaguely at the stage ] Happen. Can you do that?

[ luthir casts a single worried look at nick, but then looks at vi and nods once solemnly. ]

[There is a unicorn and an elf exchanging meaningful glances. You're in a D&D based rpg.

Nick steps forward a bit.] The past has already happened- it cannot be changed, Vi. The future- your future- is still being written. Don't focus on what you couldn't do. Focus on what you can do. Let him know you're not afraid anymore. Let him know he has no power here.

[ wear it like a crown -- rebekka karijord ]

I can't do anything. [ is she really supposed to just do nothing and watch jade die, again, and feel awful about it, which is a daily occurance? because that's the whole point of the nightmares, she's not sure how being aware of it is going to help her. especially because she doesn't feel strong. she feels helpless.

even more so because of this mysterious fifth aura.

what if it is a baby and not just some... remnant of malaak'a creeping in her brain for a year?

she can't even take care of fully capable grown adults. she can't even take care of herself. how in the hell is she supposed to protect an infant from the never ending clusterfuck of their lives? ]

I can never do anything, that's the whole point. Its always too late, I know that, I can't stop it. I'm going to keep being too late in the future, I know. How is that supposed to help! It's still going to hurt, I'm still going to blame myself, that's what grief is. I'm always going to be afraid. [ her hand moves out in the direction of finnick and myri, sweeping past jade. she can't gather all of them into the same motion, elena and kat and isabella off in the balcony, but it's meant to be understood as all of them. aside from that, though, she doesn't move, but neither do her eyes stray far from the center of the stage. ] This is my family!

I don't... understand how letting it happen is going to prove anything. This doesn't make sense.

Edited 2014-06-14 02:37 (UTC)

You're proving that you're not going to repeat the past. [ faith shakes her head and moves closer to her, standing right in front of her, and gesturing in the same direction she did ] You got one part of that right - the most important part. This is your family. Do you really think that your family is the thing that makes you weak? Look your husband there in the eyes, and tell him that.

Because I don't believe it for a second. I think that the only thing that's kept you from self-destructing under the pressure of the past, the pressure this god keeps piling on, when you might otherwise be able to move past it like people do - because that's what grief is, working things out so you can move beyond them, not holding onto them forever - the only thing that's kept you going is your family.

I think you'd do anything for them. And that's strength, Vi. That's not fear talking.

She's right. [Nick takes another step forward.] And they're out there beyond the dream, waiting for you to come home. They all believe you can do this. And if you can't believe in yourself, then believe in them. Let that be your strength.

[ she looks at luthir automatically. even if she can't tell him that he makes her weak -- which is the point. he doesn't. she's been saying for months that he and finnick and myri and the rest of her messy little family are the only reason she didn't ask rafael for directions to his suicide bridge.

her hand reaches out to take his, fingers tangling together.

she can believe in them. she does. but believing they make her stronger, too... it's not as simple. she's fucking exhausted from trying so hard all the time just to be able to manage a smile, however fleeting it may have been. she can't make it through a day without breaking down, even with them surrounding her. she can understand the concept, the execution could use a little work.

but she's alive.

so... there's that. ]

So, basically, and I'm just paraphrasing here... Watching Harry Potter and drinking wine with Finnick makes me strong? And braiding Myri's hair and figuring out how Elena takes her coffee makes me strong? [ she glances down, rubbing her forehead with her free hand. ] I told Finnick Harry Potter was fucking important.

[ and if you don't speak violet: she gets it and she does believe in them. maybe the fact that her stupid best friend and her beautiful, delicate sister and her perfect fucking elf husband believe in her is enough. she can be neville. bring on the snake. ]

[ luthir knots his fingers through hers and wraps his other hand around the back of her head to pull her forehead to his. ] Finnick should know not to question you when it comes to such things. [ it's said with a barely contained smile, because around them, even as she speaks, the scene is fading, less coherent, as if someone's set off the fog machine again. even the yelling begins to sound blurred, and the more vi concentrates on luthir and her memories of her friends and family, the more she does feel a very visceral sense of strength flooding through her.

thanks to unicorn magic, faith can share her dream ability to switch out her physical stats for any of her mental ones. so vi can use her wisdom score in lieu of her str, dex, and con :3 ]

Brilliant! [AW YEAH. The unicorn is excited. We're gonna win. We're gonna beat this thing.]

[ it's such a strange feeling, if only because she hasn't feel strong in... well, in a year. it's literally disorienting to her. good times. WHAT IS THIS FEELING??? what is this? what is this? ]

I know, right? Peasant. [ she is trying so hard to go forward and not slip back into dwelling on failures. cake. harry potter. twinkies and willy wonka. wine and american girl dolls. ice cream sundaes and boy meets world. french fries and chinese food. coffee... there is a pattern here. (spoilers, she connects food to people.)

luthir's presence is grounding though, literally, reminding her that she is real and the rest is a dream.except the unicorn is not a dream. the unicorn...

yep. that part might have just really hit her and she, casually, whispers her thoughts to luthir. ] That's a fucking unicorn.

[ that makes faith crack a smile, and she turns to look at said unicorn with light in her eyes. ] Uh, yeah, kinda a big deal.

Thanks to him, you can share other powers with me too. All you have to do is focus, and you can grow, or shrink, or see in the dark, or make yourself look like whatever you want to. [ effectively the spells alter self, reduce or enlarge person, and darkvision at will. ]

It's an honor, Vi. [HE'S JUST SO HAPPY TO HELP. #benefitsofknowingaasimarsoflurue.]

Now let's end this, once and for all.

[ nooooooooo, that means she has to see malaak'a, doesn't it?

nope.

no.

she doesn't want to.

swallowing hard, she squeezes luthir's hand. she's fine, she's strong. maybe if she tells herself that long enough it'll come true. it's worked before, after all. she made luthir marry her. she decided finnick was going to be her best friend and made it so. she decided jade was her family and owned it so hard she convinced the nurse even though des, the fucking consummate liar, couldn't convince her of shit. she still has all that -- jade is still her family, even if she's gone. finnick is still her best friend. luthir is still her boyfriend...

er, husband.

see? she remembered when it mattered.

kat is always going to be her mentor, myri her sister, elena her baby sister. felicity will always be her partner in crime, buffy and gar and mark and spike and isabella and archer will always be her family. rafael her stupid adorable penguin, des her old man. even if she loses them, even if she fails, they'll be there. that's what family does, that's what family is. ]

Okay. [ if only she didn't feel bad about keijen... ]

[ as the concert hall darkens around then further, there's the very distant, muffled sound of four gunshots, and then nothing. faith turns to look between the unicorn, vi, and luthir. ] The fifth aura. Did you want to...?

...sure. [ NO TIME LIKE THE INTERMISSION OF A NIGHTMARE. ]

[Nick nods and steps forward, lowering his head to focus on Vi. There's a tense moment as he concentrates, and then he steps back again, surprised.]

It's very slight, but it's a pure soul. [He shakes his horsey head in a unicorn gesture of delight, clearly expecting that to be enough.] Congratulations!

[ ahahahhahahahaha hahahahahahaha hahahah ha. ...ha. ]

Oh.

[ she's a little too distracted to be happy, honestly, and she can't remember how happy is supposed to feel regardless so the very idea of that emotion feels foreign to her. she smiles a little, but... they're in the middle of a nightmare and when they're not, they're in the middle of a war, one that is escalating possibly to an actual war. how is she supposed to feel happy about bringing a tiny child into the middle of that? that's probably the worst thing they could do, give this war another innocent victim.

she's sure she'll feel happy about it eventually, but at the moment all she feels is distress that she was stupid enough to let it happen in the first place and a growing fear and panic that she is going to abandon her baby the way her mother did. or worse, leave her an orphan.

congratulations isn't exactly what's running through her mind. ] Thanks.

[ luthir just stares at the unicorn for a moment, before turning to lock eyes with violet, amazement and disbelief warring in his gaze. it's clear that he hadn't wanted to jump to hoping for the best, since things generally turn out hideous so maybe it was a horrible mutant game of thrones nightmare baby, but the confirmation that it's a pure soul means he can finally accept the possibility - and the reality. he reaches out one hand to the small of vi's back, staring down at her before he manages to say: ] The strongest light in all this darkness.

[ literally. there is literal darkness all around them. ]

Yeah. [ she still doesn't sound convinced, but who can really blame her for not being ecstatic considering the circumstances. ] Something like that.

[ ♬ night terror - laura marling

they don't have very long to share in the moment or their emotional response to it anyway. the darkness begins to dissolve around them, and a few torches flare up dramatically with violet light on either side of a dais fifty feet above them.

the entire length of the room is something carved out of a nightmare-scape, and seems to bend oppressively around them, as if the entire room were continuously distorting, rather than sticking to any static rules of matter. the strange dark purple material that makes up the floors and pillars and walls pulses, and a good spot check might be enough to catch a glimpse of an ever-changing kaleidoscope of images within them, each more nightmarish than the last - contorted faces hollowing in despair, spiders exploding out of mouths, hideous monsters whose limbs are bent at extreme angles turning to look towards them.

the towering throne above them, however, sits empty, unlike each other time violet has seen it.

faith turns in place, looking around at the disturbing room as luthir draws his blade. she glances back at vi. ] You're going to need a weapon. Whatever you can hold in your mind, you can manifest.

[Nick, for all that he has been an adorable precious British unicorn during all this, stamps the ground with a hoof, lowering his head to brandish his horn threateningly.

Yeah, your bastion of goodness and light can fuck shit up and is ready to. There is an expectant mother and a descendant of Lurue all up in this shit. He is gonna smack some nightmare god ass.]

[ she doesn quite understand what faith means about holding in her mind, expression twisting in confusion. it doesn't help that malaak'a is not where he is supposed to be. he is supposed to be up on that throne, all purple and black and white. ]

I don't... what to you mean hold in my mind? Like, if I can imagine it?

Something that you can not only imagine, but that you know intimately enough that you're not going to lose it when you're concentrating on the fight itself. Something you know as well as your own hand, if you have such a thing.

Okay. [ well that's easy. her bow. she knows it better than her own hand, actually. grey with age, grip worn into the shape of her fingers, her intials "vpf" scratched into one of the curves. she knows the story of how the bow was made better than she knows her own life story. she doesn't even need to concentrate on that. but she does anyway, remembering her birthday and how luthir's nimble fingers had coaxed her own into twisting the silky fabric around the string. ]

Right on! [ Faith grins as she summons up a broadsword of her own, when the bow appears in vi's hands, quiver on her back. The smile turns to a frown, however, as the images surrounding them change from nameless horrors to a sudden fast and frantic and slowly louder assembly of images and screams from the parts of the nightmare they skipped over to get here. All around them, vi's friends and allies fall, screaming for her help, or just screaming their final words. It becomes cacophonous, filling the air, clawing into their minds as the faces flash through the mirrors. ]

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