briefing ♔ just caught in the undertow

[wynn]

  Au Revoir - OneRepublic

WHO || Wynn, Buffy, Myri, Finnick, Spike, Kat, Gar, Archer, Des, Rafael, Fred Jr., Dumage  [Closed]
WHAT || Andres Mission Briefing
WHERE || Knights HQ, lobby etc.
WHEN || August 14th [forward dated]
HOW || Actionspam. Single thread, don't worry about maintaining tagging order.

Ceding to the demands of psychotic despots isn't exactly something the Knights prefer to do.

Perhaps this is why Wynn has taken his sweet time in arranging the group that Dimitris Sarandis has insisted on speaking with, the 'only ones' to whom he has agreed to deliver his demands for the safe and secure return of Dragon's Claw Sir Thomas Bancroft.  The meeting is finally scheduled, and as promised, Rafael has flown in from America to participate, picked up by Des en route to the castle.  Kat, Myri, Buffy, Finnick, Archer, and Spike had one of Myri's 'family failboat dinners' together, and as such, have wandered out of the dining room together in the direction of the lobby after Buffy received a text from Rafael that they were there.  Raf and Des are just pushing open the doors as they make their way across the tiled floor.

Comments

[slay]

[ The look silences her somewhat, and Buffy drops her gaze. Nothing's going to change if they just let themselves get steamrolled and choose to stay mad instead of fighting it out. She knows that. But she's tired. They've got enough enemies without fighting each other.

She rubs her fingers against one eye, glancing in towards the round table room with a heavy sigh. The urge to go back is there, but she feels like she got knocked out in the first round.

It's definitely not that Faith's appearance and news has her on unsteady footing all around here. Definitely not. ]

[romanticidal]

It will mean more from one of us his own, Buffy, than from either of us. [ he squeezes her arm encouragingly ] You know this, yes?

[nothingsodivine]

He won't listen. [He sighs, but if Buffy has to do it, she has to do it, so he goes on ahead, calling over his shoulder.] They never do. I've seen it all before.

[He pauses long enough to give Buffy a meaningful look.] But good luck, Blondie.

[slay]

But what if that’s not me?

[ She blurts it out only in the face of Rafael’s wheedling, because the already present paranoia, that round-peg-square-hole feeling, becomes aggravated in the face of Des’ discouragement. ]

What if Wynn’s not the problem? What if I am?

[ Well. It’s a little bit ‘duh’ because yeah this is Wynn’s house, girl. But it’s pretty evident in the pitch of her voice that this feeling that she might not belong isn’t newly prompted by the outburst in the round table room.

Faith seemed level-headed, go-with-the-flow-y. She probably would have let it go. Buffy couldn't. ]

[romanticidal]

Standing up for what you believe doesn't make you a problem. Isn't that what the Knights are all about?

[nothingsodivine]

[Des whirls, looking grossly offended by that.]

Why? Because you spoke out against what you believed in? Buffy, if you let him get into your head like that, you'll go nuts. This is why I won't join up. Wynn's great. I love the bastard, but I can't abide by rules like this. And neither should you. Duty don't always come before passion. Sometimes you just gotta find a balance between the two, and if you can't, then maybe it's time you went a new direction.

But don't let him make you think you're wrong because you followed your heart. Don't do that, Buffy.

[slay]

[ It feels impossible.

The fact that most of this is informed by knowing that she died and got replaced by someone who’s now here and squired and able to do exactly what she can do doesn’t help, because that’s not really the kind of issue that this conversation can work through.

But it’s hardest because the Knights are all she’s ever known. She hardly had a life at all before she joined them—at least, not one that she can remember. A new direction might sound easy to Des, who’s lived 400 years, but to Buffy, it’s uprooting herself from the only security she has and asking her to go against her constant.

And yet she’s still not sure he’s wrong.

The sense of alienation has only grown worse, but it was there before she even met Faith. That question of whether she’s the same as them, or if this isn’t fitting the way it should. The trial had been what started it all, really. That’s what makes it feel like it’s on her most of all.

It’s not that the Knighthood is different from what it was when she joined, but she is.

Her eyes squeeze shut and she raises her hands like excuse me I need a minute because this is a lot at once and it feels very pressure-y. She’s feeling pressured. ]

In theory, yeah. But we’re supposed to believe the same thing. Value the same things. Be on the same team. Does this look same team-y to you?

[ And like how do you even quit is this like the mafia. Do you have to pull an Elena and hit the ground running. Wow that makes it pretty apparent that she’s actually seriously considering this that her thought process went that far. ]

[romanticidal]

It has been very seldom that I have seen your team agree on much. But the things they do believe in - these are the same for all of you. They are strengths that you share.

The things you have disagreed on do not change that.

[nothingsodivine]

And he hasn't thrown you out yet. [Des's opinion on this is just so complicated. HE DOESN'T LIKE PEOPLE FEELING LIKE THEY HAVE TO CURB THEIR EMOTIONS AND DESIRES. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. ETC.]

But Fluffy's right. You've been cut off from Wynn and his rules so long, it's hard being back here, wondering if you fit in with everything. Once we're all back in the game, we'll know what to do. We always do.

And after that... [He shrugs.] You'll figure out what you really need.

[slay]

[ She doesn’t fit in anywhere. Her gaze drops at Des’ acknowledgment of her uncertainty about it. That’s a hard piece to swallow because it hits so close to the root of the problem.

Her spot’s been taken.

The space she filled, the role she had, the things that she did for the knights—there’s someone else to do them, now. There’s no way for her to fit in with everything.

Being gone, she worries, won’t help. It’ll do the opposite. She’s never had an extended stay at the castle, not truly. No more than a couple months at once, and she’s moved rooms since the first time. It doesn’t feel like home base to her. Being away just gives her more time to feel disconnected from it.

On one hand, she feels like if she’s already questioning, she doesn’t have much to lose if Wynn decides to kick her out for being a li’l bitch. On the other hand, she doesn’t really want confirmation that she doesn’t belong here because it will sting. ]

You’re right.

[ To Des. No matter how she’s feeling now, it won’t change the fact that Andres is the next logical step. The rest can wait. But she looks to Rafael and nods, taking a breath to steady herself. ]

I’ll talk to him.

[romanticidal]

[ that brings a little smile to his eyes, and he releases her and motions to des to come with ] Molto bene. We will be right outside, carina.

[slay]

Well out of blast range.

[ Natch.

Her nose crinkles, but she turns back in towards the rest of the round table room and takes a deep breath and

jumps back into the Myri and Wynn thread?? ]

[nothingsodivine]

[Des watches her go with a concerned expression.]

Sometimes I think she belongs here even less than we do.

[romanticidal]

That, or they need someone like her.