Fredrick Jr. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nepotism) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
knightsoflegend2014-09-02 07:05 pm
nepotism) wrote in knightsoflegend2014-09-02 07:05 pm
Entry tags:
- !main plot,
- abigail hobbs,
- adam weiss,
- aedan cousland,
- alanna,
- alaric saltzman,
- alcide herveaux,
- alex karamazov,
- alice lincoln,
- allison argent,
- andrew dennis-gatewood,
- astrid mädchen,
- bambi dalton,
- belle desrosiers,
- bo dennis-gatewood,
- brantley river,
- buffy summers,
- cara mason,
- christos la krail,
- cora hale,
- desmond d. descant,
- drax,
- dumage moulet,
- edain of maikwit,
- ella cailte,
- emma frost,
- felicity braddock,
- finnick odair,
- fiona tollins,
- francesca,
- fredrick jr.,
- gold,
- gregor hughes,
- grimrot,
- gus harrison,
- han solo,
- hayley marshall,
- helen magnus,
- jack chessing,
- jaina solo,
- jeanne gar,
- kali,
- kate beckett,
- koraith,
- leia organa,
- lila zacharov-gray,
- lis'sa trinall,
- malina harvey,
- marcus andres,
- max rast,
- maxwell briggard,
- miles cuivre,
- myrilandel odair,
- nathan young,
- rafael giovanni,
- rocket,
- spike,
- sterling archer,
- stiles stilinski,
- sylar zacharov-gray,
- taradiddle gezuntheit,
- thoster chatwyn,
- tia ellison,
- violet reedhym,
- will graham,
- wolverine,
- wynnefalshond,
- zoe weiss
debriefing ♔ in the emptiness there's a solution | just look within yourself for absolution
♬ locking up the sun- poets of the fall
WHO || Wynn, Buffy, Myri, Finnick, Spike, Gar, Archer, Des, Vi, Rafael, Fred Jr., Dumage, Mark, Rocket, open! [Closed]
WHAT || Andres Mission Debrief & Aftermath
WHERE || Knights HQ, lobby etc.
WHEN || September 18th [forward dated*]
HOW || Actionspam. Single thread, don't worry about maintaining tagging order.
There are plenty of missions that return to the castle a success - most of them, even. The defeated air of the solemn group that returns from their diplomatic mission to Andres Isle to hear the demands of dictator Dimitris Sarandis makes it quite clear that this wasn't one of those.
Starting with Sarandis' actual demands - for all Knights to withdraw from Andres under penalty of death, or for Wynn to offer his own head in return for Thomas' safe return - and ending with the unexpected, disturbing confession from Kat that she intended to stay behind on the island because she had "fallen in love with" the dictator, the events of the island made it very clear that Sarandis was cannily playing his hand to get the Knights where he wanted them.
Fred Jr. shoves open the doors with his unnatural strength, stalking in ahead of the group into the lobby. Whoever's on desk duty isn't going to have to roll a high wisdom check to see that these people are pissed... and distraught... and a myriad of other emotions on the bad end of the scale.
*I am changing the date of the briefing log and Andres log/live session to have taken place in September, to avoid us being in backdated hell forever, and to allow for a September squiring ceremony before apps are closed. Carry on... in the future!
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I'm not sure a unicorn telling you in a nightmare and then waking up with a dead husband is how anyone expects to find out they got knocked up. [ its mostly the dead husband part she is still stuck on. ]
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I was married for less than a day and my husband was murdered right in front of me, because of me, and now I'm pregnant and I have to have this baby all on my own and the only thing she'll know about her dad is stories because he's never going to be able to meet her much less hold her and tell her about when he was her age and he had to walk uphill both ways to go to school. In what universe is that ever good news?
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Luthir was able to die protecting his family, which is something I know he would gladly do over and over again. Through all his long life I've never seen him happier than when he was with you, and now he's managed to leave you with a part of himself that will continue to offer you some of that joy and contentment you felt together.
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[ she stands, pushing the pizza aside, she can come back to it later, shaking with anger. would her grief be less if she had an abortion? choosing to keep her baby doesn't mean that it's good news. nor does she appreciate the subtext that she has to give a fuck about anyone aside from herself. she was the one left behind to survive this by herself, it is 100% about her all the time. ] And I'm not happy, because he is gone. I'm not happy and I can feel, in technicolor and more than you can ever possibly imagine, exactly how much this hurts every single second of every single day. This is the most painful thing in the entire realm of possibility and I was tortured for almost a year, so I know the depths of despair a human being can feel before they shatter.
Don't you dare act like Luthir's legacy is supposed to make me feel better about my dead best friend. There is nothing welcome about this. That experience is ongoing and it is still horrifying. [ she turns on her heel and stalks out. ]
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I only meant to offer you another perspective, what I know would be his perspective on all this. He would never want to leave you, but knowing he was protecting his family, and giving them a chance to carry on and persevere without him, is the greatest honor he could have imagined.
Regardless of how you feel about this, I refuse to let his sacrifice be in vain, even if only in my own memory.
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Are you fucking kidding me? [ she whirls around in the doorway, fingers flying messily over the screen of her phone, blindly telling myri in her spelling error riddled texting that she needs her rightfuckingnow before she recreates myri's trauma induced panic attack. ] I know how he felt. I was there with him when he found out, I saw his face, I heard his vows, I heard him every single time he said he loved me, every single time he apologized for not being able to stop the nightmares sooner. I know without any shadow of a doubt that the one thing he was most proud of was the ability to protect me and his child.
[ she looks absolutely livid and she is trembling with anger and frustration but manages, miraculously, to keep her voice firm and steady, low and icy cold. ] That does not make this baby a consolation prize.
I do not have to feel anything other than whatever I'm feeling right now. I do not, ever, have to feel like I can't be devastated that I lost my husband just because I have his baby. You have absolutely no right, ever!, to act like the way I grieve and the way I feel is wrong because you don't think it is right.
Maybe one day I will be okay with this. Maybe I won't see what I've lost in her face or in the way she moves or the way she smiles like she has a secret. Maybe one day I will be able to accept the choices Luthir made, but that person? The girl that can do those things? She's not the girl he married. I am messy and complicated and I don't know how to feel things in moderation. I am a broken human being and he was the string that kept my balloon from floating away. You know nothing about our relationship, you know nothing about me. It would be a slap to the face of our entire relationship if I was acting anything less than I am because this is the person he married, this is the person he chose to pledge the rest of his life with.
His sacrifice will never be in vain because I am going to raise this child to respect her father and his choices even though I don't. She is going to be smart and brilliant and know that the most important thing she can ever do is to protect the people she loves, even if it puts her in danger, because protecting the people you love, the people that can't protect themselves, is the best thing you can do with your life. Even if they resent it. [ the way vi protected myri. the way she wishes she could now. the way she won't be because she chose, instead, to protect her child. luthir's child. and francesca is acting like that doesn't matter. like vi is spitting on luthir's memory because she will never be okay with his dying. she will never be okay with his choice because it took him from her and she will never ever be okay with that. ]
My husband died. He left me. And that was his choice and I have always been proud of him for his unwavering faith in me and himself.
But you do not get to tell me how to feel or grieve or that a child born without ever knowing that man is good news. The world is a worse place without Luthir in it and I have every right to be upset that she has to grow up in that world, without his light.
[ this time when she walks away she doesn't stop. she has nothing left to say and she has no more energy left to do anything other than curl up in bed with finnick and myri and pretend for five minutes that everything is okay. ]
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I know your husband died, and, as I said, I could never begin to understand your pain, but I don't see how trying to help you find a small flicker of light in all this darkness means denying you your chance to grieve or lessens Luthir's memory in any way. You don't have to accept it as such, but what good would it be if no one ever tried to offer you support or hope.
I merely meant as Luthir's friend I would hope he would wish I attempted to support you through your darkest times, as he always did when he was here. You resent it now, I understand that, but each reminder that there is hope - that the pain will never go away but might someday become manageable - can be a chance for some light to maybe finally break through; that when you're ready, you'll know there are people around you who wish to support you in carrying on.
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