party ♔ got a black card that let saks have it, these chanel bags is a bad habit

[bittersweeter]

[ ♪ feelin' myself -- nicki minaj & beyoncé ]

WHO || Astrid Mädchen & loads of people
WHAT || Astrid's 23rd Birthday Party
WHERE || Some empty bar in the castle.
WHEN || October 29, 2014; 8pm [backdated]
HOW || Actionspam

Lila had basically commandeered Astrid's birthday months ago, all but demanding that Astrid let her plan her party while... it was still Faye's birthday. By the time she is done decorating, it looks like Pintrest collided with Queen Regina and puked black and white Halloween drama all over the room. Glittery skulls, blood red candy apples, candles flickering in black lacquered candelabras. Is that raven real? Probably. Is that skeleton real?

Maybe. Y'all don't know what tricks this girl can do. Maybe Slenderman will show up.

The lights are dim and there is an entire table stacked with cupcakes and cookies and other assorted nibbles and hor d'oeuvres, shoved up against the bar where bottles of every kind of alcohol imaginable are just spread out willy nilly amongst mixers and juices. Bet your ass there is Fireball around. There's soda and punch for the teetotalers, but with far less variety than the liquor. There are even party favor bags for the end of the night stuffed with nips of peach schnapps, Jagermeister, and cranberry juice (the recipe for a red headed slut) and various jewels and baubles, plastic Starbucks cups, hella neon nail polish. And condoms. They are all jammed with condoms.

Invitations aren't sent so much as Lila and Astrid invite every single person they know and don't loathe. Costumes are a requirement, but presents are just highly encouraged. But it's Astrid's birthday, okay? Presents are a must.

And no one is allowed to dress like Jessica Rabbit on pain of... well, pain.

Comments

[unforgivably]

Thank you for your service.

[pathology]

You're welcome. Where were you that was so important you couldn't be there?

[unforgivably]

How do you know I wasn't there? [ Just being difficult. ] Trying to find a friend.

[pathology]

There was a briefing at the beginning, where everyone was assigned their missions. I know the name of every knight who went to war. [is she being hyperbolic??? maybe.] See? This is what I mean when I say we need GPS tracker chips.

[unforgivably]

Then you can be the first volunteer for that. I myself enjoy my freedom when I want it.

[pathology]

It's all fun and games until one of your best friends ends up magicked to Cuba inside the mouth of ancient evil.

[unforgivably]

See, to me that sounds like a party. Not to mention, very similar, but substitute Cuba for Andres and mouth of ancient evil to ... I don't know, some poor excuse for a doppelganger. Turns out the knights know what they're doing.

[pathology]

[her wis roll to pick up what he was putting down was so low lmao. so she just moves on to—] Um, yeah, we're kind of amazing. Especially me.

[unforgivably]

Yeah? What's so amazing about you? [ His tone is more curious than questioning. More of a 'what are you?' ]

[pathology]

I'm a doctor.

[unforgivably]

PH or MD?

[pathology]

The life-saving kind.

[unforgivably]

Had to ask. [ Hey, there. ] In what field?

[pathology]

Around here I do pretty much whatever they need me for, but surgery is my fave. I love getting under people, seeing how things work. I would be an amazing trauma surgeon.

[unforgivably]

I love getting under people.

[ But, this is actually semi-fascinating conversation. ]

How'd you make it with the knights?

[pathology]

[she scrunches her nose, not missing the double entendre.] I'll bet. Anyway, they recruited my bestie and I was a free gift with purchase.

[unforgivably]

[ can you blame him? have you seen you? ] But, much better than a free tote bag. Who's your bestie? [ he was just going to nose around, glancing, trying to find said bestie, but he utterly failed his intelligence check so it doesn't occur to him that said bestie might be at this party ]

[pathology]

I know, right? I'm the best. [she glances around and sighs a melodramatic sigh.] I don't think Attica's here ... maybe she'll show up late.

[unforgivably]

She should if she's your bestie. How are you liking being on the frontlines of knightdom?

[pathology]

She's not a very good one. [shrug.] It's pretty cool. I mean, I saw dinosaurs. Legit. How can you beat that?

[unforgivably]

No, that isn't very bestie of her. [ ... wut ] Dinosaurs. [ Really? ] Where?

[pathology]

A scientist in London managed to go all Jurassic Park and bioengineer deinonychuses. A few got loose and started maiming people. We took care of it, though.

[unforgivably]

[ with a positive pop culture check, of course Damon remembers Jurassic park ] I hope his toys were taken away.

[pathology]

I'm pretty sure he's in prison for .... probably forever.