party ♔ got a black card that let saks have it, these chanel bags is a bad habit

[bittersweeter]

[ ♪ feelin' myself -- nicki minaj & beyoncé ]

WHO || Astrid Mädchen & loads of people
WHAT || Astrid's 23rd Birthday Party
WHERE || Some empty bar in the castle.
WHEN || October 29, 2014; 8pm [backdated]
HOW || Actionspam

Lila had basically commandeered Astrid's birthday months ago, all but demanding that Astrid let her plan her party while... it was still Faye's birthday. By the time she is done decorating, it looks like Pintrest collided with Queen Regina and puked black and white Halloween drama all over the room. Glittery skulls, blood red candy apples, candles flickering in black lacquered candelabras. Is that raven real? Probably. Is that skeleton real?

Maybe. Y'all don't know what tricks this girl can do. Maybe Slenderman will show up.

The lights are dim and there is an entire table stacked with cupcakes and cookies and other assorted nibbles and hor d'oeuvres, shoved up against the bar where bottles of every kind of alcohol imaginable are just spread out willy nilly amongst mixers and juices. Bet your ass there is Fireball around. There's soda and punch for the teetotalers, but with far less variety than the liquor. There are even party favor bags for the end of the night stuffed with nips of peach schnapps, Jagermeister, and cranberry juice (the recipe for a red headed slut) and various jewels and baubles, plastic Starbucks cups, hella neon nail polish. And condoms. They are all jammed with condoms.

Invitations aren't sent so much as Lila and Astrid invite every single person they know and don't loathe. Costumes are a requirement, but presents are just highly encouraged. But it's Astrid's birthday, okay? Presents are a must.

And no one is allowed to dress like Jessica Rabbit on pain of... well, pain.

Comments

[pathology]

[woooooo] So, um, I'm guessing you're friends with Lila?

[doubletake]

Oh, yeah, she's the one who invited me. Thought I could use a party.

[Pouringggg]

Hope you don't mind.

[Though it's also clear she...doesn't really care if she does.]

[pathology]

Not at all! It's cool, you're like, famous. Kind of. And you seem pretty chill, so party on.

[doubletake]

I think the word you're looking for is infamous.

[Just saying. She knows what's up.]

I'll take chill, though.

[pathology]

[shrrrruuuug.] I like infamous. I used to always go for the bad boys. [oh yeah there was tequila shots. so she's going to do hers now. shots shots shots.]

[doubletake]

[Clinky clinky. She shoots hers at the same time, immediately refilling them.]

Lucky for you, I can be a boy, too.

[She's probably joking.]

[pathology]

[without missing a beat, she's immediately like] Ohhh, can you do Jason Statham?!

[doubletake]

[Apparently she has a thing for him too, because she totally knows who that is, and has a really damn good idea of what he looks like (know: pop culture 18).

She just gives Astrid a smirk before she shifts, bones literally growing and popping and skin stretching as she morphs into...a very famous actor.

Totally inconspicuous, no? Look at all the fucks she gives.

It's damn impressive, too (disguise 40).]



Good enough?

[She sounds smug as fuck. Whoops.]

[pathology]

[she shrieks her white girl shriek and enthusiasically throws her arms around elena. er, jason. whatever.] THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!

[doubletake]

[She slips her arm around her shoulders in very manly fashion.]

I take it this is probably a much better birthday present than what I actually brought you.

[pathology]

I don't even know what you bought me yet, but probably! [/honest. and so happy as she lives the lie that it's jason statham and not elena. but slowly ... eventually ... she peels herself off.] You're so cool.

[doubletake]

[Why didn't she meet you ladies before she went of the deep end. So much positive attention for this is weird.]

Maybe this is my calling. Why hire a clown when they could hire me?

[/casually downplays her compliment.]

[pathology]

[poor elena :'( ]

Totally! You're like, the most authentic celebrity impersonator ever. Oh! Oh! Tell me something romantic. Okay, maybe not too romantic. Or weird. Just, I know, say "Astrid, you have great hair."

[doubletake]

[She resists the urge to laugh, instead totally getting into character, playing the part.

This is her life now.

She reaches out, curling a lock of her hair around her finger, looking directly into her eyes as her voice drops a bit lower, even for Mr. Statham.]

Astrid, you have great hair.

[Bluff? 33]

[pathology]

[/melts. SHE'S JUST SO HAPPY.] This is ... literally ... the best birthday ever.

[doubletake]

I can do one better.

[Eyebrow raise.]

Want to dance?

[pathology]

Um, YES? [practically rockets out onto the dance floor. probably simultaneously dragging elena with her.]

[doubletake]

[She leads her out to the dance floor for more birthday fun, I guess.

Her dance score is barely passable (12), though lbr she's used to being a lot shorter and maybe Jason isn't a great dancer in real life? idek]

[pathology]

[well her dance check was a whole 6 so i guess she is some mixture of drunk + smitten by fake jason statham.] Don't judge me okay, I had like, a whole bottle of tequila. And champagne. And some other stuff.

[doubletake]

I would never. It's your birthday. You're not supposed to be able to walk a straight line.

[pathology]

Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about!