party ♔ got a black card that let saks have it, these chanel bags is a bad habit

[bittersweeter]

[ ♪ feelin' myself -- nicki minaj & beyoncé ]

WHO || Astrid Mädchen & loads of people
WHAT || Astrid's 23rd Birthday Party
WHERE || Some empty bar in the castle.
WHEN || October 29, 2014; 8pm [backdated]
HOW || Actionspam

Lila had basically commandeered Astrid's birthday months ago, all but demanding that Astrid let her plan her party while... it was still Faye's birthday. By the time she is done decorating, it looks like Pintrest collided with Queen Regina and puked black and white Halloween drama all over the room. Glittery skulls, blood red candy apples, candles flickering in black lacquered candelabras. Is that raven real? Probably. Is that skeleton real?

Maybe. Y'all don't know what tricks this girl can do. Maybe Slenderman will show up.

The lights are dim and there is an entire table stacked with cupcakes and cookies and other assorted nibbles and hor d'oeuvres, shoved up against the bar where bottles of every kind of alcohol imaginable are just spread out willy nilly amongst mixers and juices. Bet your ass there is Fireball around. There's soda and punch for the teetotalers, but with far less variety than the liquor. There are even party favor bags for the end of the night stuffed with nips of peach schnapps, Jagermeister, and cranberry juice (the recipe for a red headed slut) and various jewels and baubles, plastic Starbucks cups, hella neon nail polish. And condoms. They are all jammed with condoms.

Invitations aren't sent so much as Lila and Astrid invite every single person they know and don't loathe. Costumes are a requirement, but presents are just highly encouraged. But it's Astrid's birthday, okay? Presents are a must.

And no one is allowed to dress like Jessica Rabbit on pain of... well, pain.

Comments

[pathology]

None! [HUFF.] I'm just saying, if I wanted to!

[beatupgrass]

Well, you got a gym right down the hall... somewhere. [he doesn't go into it, but he is aware it exists. he reaches up to give her a flick on her girly little twig arms.] If you wanted to, you could do somethin' about that.

[pathology]

Um, I know, okay? My mentor was like, a mega-jock. His favorite thing to do is still make me show him how much I suck at melee combat.

[beatupgrass]

[he looks her over again.] Yeah, maybe you oughta stick to guns.

[pathology]

Bright side, though? I am really good at guns. Once I shot the tires of a moving car. It was like something out of a Jason Statham movie.

[beatupgrass]

See? Now that's a talent I can get behind. [and makes him not ashamed to be your squire.]

[pathology]

I'm so badass. You're pretty lucky to have me, not gonna lie.

[beatupgrass]

Oh yeah, there's a lot I can learn from a medic with good aim and expensive taste. [it's only mildly sarcastic, okay. he's thawing a bit.]

[pathology]

[perfect. astrid is so pleased.] Do you want to learn first aid?

[beatupgrass]

I'm better at causin' injuries than fixin' 'em.

[pathology]

Suit yourself, but it's pretty cool being the one everyone owes their lives to.

[beatupgrass]

I shut down this freakin' golem with a remote control before it killed everybody- that was impressive. And exactly the kinda shit I look for gratitude for. You do what you do best and I do what I do best.

[pathology]

Hollaaaa! [on that note, she's going to kiss him on the cheek and go be a crazy drunk b-day girl somewhere else. the end.]