knightsoflegend | CHAPTER FOUR ♔ does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love

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CHAPTER FOUR ♔ does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love

WHO || Failboat, Rafael, Isabella, Nadia [Closed]
WHAT || After an exciting Grammy night, the Knights meet up with Nadia to hear what she has to say
WHERE || Staples Center, LA --> Warehouse
WHEN || Feb 8th, 2015 [back dated]
HOW || Actionspam

[ The Knights' mission to stop the signal and prevent Draken's cult from spreading whatever subliminal message was lurking beneath Keijen Blade's performance was a success. It didn't come without its bumps in the road, however: Alexander Anderson showed up, and the Knights ran afoul of the Mind Master. Buffy nearly died fighting Anderson, but in the end, he was defeated, beheaded, and hopefully put to death forever. Finnick, though, found himself thrust into a mental illusion that convinced him he might still be in the Hunger Games, and left him uncertain about whether any of his life here was real.

Another surprise came in the form of an announcement by Nadia Reichenov, an artist working with Crombe and company, that she was changing her band name and taking things in a 'new direction'. This direction was perhaps revealed when after her performance, she approached the Knights in Rafael's dressing room - and handed them the necklace that connects her to the Nightmare God Malaak'a, saying she was willing to tell them everything. ]

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[ he relaxes into the hug as if he's not even british ok. he just didn't want to take ... HUG LIBERTIES????? her words bring a dry chuckle to his lips as he squeezes her back warmly. ] Then that makes two of us.

[ Well this has been a Moment. Buffy takes a bit to compose herself, then draws out of the hug, straightening her back and nodding to him like yep thanks for that good now. And to stave off any of her projected awkwardness, she dives in with a question to throw the conversation away from herself. ]

Speaking of things that got you fired … [ Because she hasn't given him a hard time about it yet. ] I hear you're engaged.

A bright spot on a rather dark horizon, at the moment, yes. [ despite the somber words, the smile that touches his lips makes it clear just how much hope that bright spot grants him. ] More than worth the risk.

Something to fight for.

[ She says it like an agreement. ]

I'm really happy for you.

[ Clapping a hand on his upper arm, she gives it an affirming squeeze. ]

I certainly appreciate the support. [ there's something in his smile that's rather knowing, as if there's another layer of meaning there. DOES HE KNOW WHAT YOU SAID TO WYNN, maybe we just don't know. he gestures with his head back towards the doors. ] Shall we?

I'm all—

[ Her nose crinkles as she gestures to her face. ]

Splotchy, and … [ She shakes her head then. ] You go. I'll catch up in a couple minutes.

As you wish. [ he gives her another pat on the shoulder and a little smile, and then heads back inside ]

[ Up until he heads inside, Buffy wears a warm but thin smile on her lips, and she traces his movements. When the door shuts, she turns away again, eyes skimming over the cityscape with deep-rooted restlessness.

She lingers in the cool night air, awash in silence, waiting for the itch in the back of her neck telling her to suspect further trouble to finally wear off. The tension in her shoulders speaks to an inability to bring herself entirely off-edge, like she can't let go of the anticipation of another fight. ]

[ the door opens quietly after a short, and rafael steps out beside her, shutting it fully before he walks up to the railing, curving one hand around the bar and looking out for a moment before he speaks up, shoving the other hand in his jacket pocket. ] Do you mind the company? [ if it feels like a loaded question it's probably cuz it is ]

Well, I could say this town isn't big enough for the both of us, but then there'd be a shoot out and I wouldnt stand a chance.

[ There is a smile on her voice, but she doesn't turn to face him immediately. A beat passes before she adds, ] Stay. [ She turns her head to look at him then. ] How is she?

She-- [ a beat ] I do not know. Things did not go as I thought they would. [ he still sounds surprised, like he's trying to sort of what happened and how to feel about it ] I knew she must be angry when she learned there was something about... Nadia that I had kept from her. I thought it best to speak to her immediately about it when I had the chance. [ he grimaces at the thought, as that's clearly not a conversation he ever wanted to rehash ] Instead, she--

[ The nod says she is both surprised and understanding of him opening with that. And a little bit sympathy because she had certainly expected anger as well--hence her readiness to clear the room. But she looks up, curious when it sounds like that's not the case. ] Hurt? [ A guess, but an educated one bit was her gut reaction too. ]

[ he shakes his head, pulling his hand out of his pocket and staring down at his fist ] Instead, she told me she had something to say to me.

[ he unfurls his fingers, revealing a woman's engagement ring. ] She gave me this.

[ Confusion etches into Buffy's expression as she stares down at the ring. ]

She ended it?

[ he looks over at her finally, weighing what to say and what he should leave out. ] ... Si.

She said-- [ another beat of hesitation, but he doesn't look away, watches her reaction ] that she said yes because she had hoped that I could truly give her my heart. But that she knew now that this was not so.

[ his hand closes around the ring again, bobbing a bit as if feeling the weight of it ] And that she could not go on telling herself that it would be enough.

[ The sentiment is familiar. Her gaze breaks and she looks down, all reluctant sympathy. It hurts to wonder if Isabella recognized something Buffy doesn't think she can. But she believes, now more than ever, that there is a chance for them. She brought Nadia to his bed, and had it not been for her icing him out, it may not have worked at all. ]

I'm glad. Not that her heart was broken, obviously. But that she made the choice for herself and knew to step back from what wouldn't be enough. [ Honestly, she's impressed. In the worst of ways. ] But just because she didn't believe you could for her, that doesn't mean-- Maybe not for her, but what you said at the warehouse. Rafael, falling for Nadia's trick doesn't mean you can't love again.

[ ♬ your eyes - alexz johnson

his eyes drop at the pronouncement, uncertainty in the twist of his lip ] Even if it does not, the question is whether it means I should not. Whether my instincts will only ever lead me to hurt the one I love the most. [ he flinches at the thought, clearly haunted by the idea ] Sometimes I wonder if this is the price of the darkness I have invited into my life. If it has left me with a heart that will only ever have sharpened edges, harming those who draw too near.

I had come to think that what was best for both of us was not to allow you to feel the sting of it yourself.

But it is already too late for this. And instead of protecting you, I have done what?

Hurt us both, and Bella too. [ he shakes his head ] Turned away from the light you had brought to my life. Failed to be there for you when you might have needed me. I told myself it was the best way to protect you, that it was what you wished for that had caused you to turn away.

But, carina... there is a part of me that cannot see the point of living in safety, when it means one must also live in darkness.

[ he turns his eyes heavenward, searching the sky futilely ] Is this selfish of me? Foolish?

[ Listening to him, Buffy softens sympathetically, sorrow in her eyes. He isn't the only one feeling the guilty weight of failing to protect the person he loved because he pulled back when she needed him: she did the same to him. He was only in danger because of her in the first place, and she had abandoned him to dwell on her own pain, leaving him to imagine the worst.

In the face of all he's told her, it's impossible not to feel responsible both for what Nadia had done and that she succeeded. Since she let him go, she has been mired in darkness, the same darkness he claims to want to turn away from. Now, she can only wonder if it was her darkness that did this to him--that kept her away and injured him with its sharpened edges.

Maybe it is selfish. But not as selfish as she had been in leaving him to deal with it alone. She reaches out, covering his hand with hers and catches his gaze intently. ]

No. No, of course not. But ... [ Guilt burns in her eyes and she has to drop her gaze briefly. ] Rafael, Isabella is right. About all of it. I brought this darkness into your life when you were trying to leave it behind you. This happened to you because of me.

And when I should have been beside you, protecting you from it, I ... [ She shakes her head, turning out to look at the city and squeezing his hand. ] I was too afraid. To face you, to face what I'd done. I wasn't ready. Instead of being there for you, I let that fear win, and now ... I won't let you blame yourself for this.

Edited 2015-04-16 01:42 (UTC)

So you would blame yourself instead? [ his hand is warm in hers, returning the pressure firmly, his thumb brushing over the back of her own ] You are not responsible for the things she was sent to do, or for the choices I have made. It is not protection I need, Buffy, any more than you do.

[ his other hand lifts to very lightly brush at her jaw, trying to direct her attention back to his intent gaze ] It is the strength that I seem to find in myself when you are near. The belief you have professed to me time and again that I have more to give this world than darkness - that belief saved me when I was almost lost to myself completely.

No one has ever placed such faith in me. I am still not certain what I did to deserve it.

Don't you get it?

[ She looks up at him like she genuinely can't understand that he doesn't see in himself what she sees in him every time she looks. For a bewildered moment, her eyes search his, trying to comprehend, but finally she just answers with absolute faith, ] I'm not the one who cast out your darkness, Rafael. I didn't have to bring into your life: it's been in you since the day we met.

That's what you've done to deserve it: you've done good. You gave up everything to join the fight and protect your people in Italy, the same way you've given up everything to help us now.

You see? [ his expression softens as he stares at her, gratitude and warmth in his eyes, his hand lingering against her face, brushing softly back to indulge momentarily in hooking her hair behind her ear ] You make it sound like such a very simple thing.

[ the brightest lights (ft. mumford & sons) - king charles ]

It's not. I know it's not.

[ As she affirms that, she keeps a still and serious way about her, yet it's not remotely undermined by the gentleness of her eyes. ]

Sometimes, it feels like the darkness is too much, but you keep fighting it.

[ And that's it. What Sam had managed to get through to her when no one else quite could: it's not about never doing monstrous things. It's about doing it for the right reasons, striving to be better than that even after you make a mistake. All qualities embodied by Rafael's dogged pursuit of goodness. She reaches up to cover his hand with hers, pressing his palm to cup her cheek so she can savor the warmth of it. ]

That's all any of us can do.

Edited 2015-04-16 03:06 (UTC)

[ his eyes droop as they search her face, studying every inch of it, everything he finds there bringing more relief to the hard lines of his own expression, second by second. ] I have missed you, well and truly, carina.

Well, it's been five months. You'd better have.

[ A smile spreads across her lips, starting out as a teasing and sly smirk but taking a turn for the incandescent. The feeling's mutual, but she doesn't feel compelled to affirm that, with everything they'd been through. It must be obvious that the separation has been all but killing her. She leans forward, slipping both arms around his shoulders and pulling him into a

hug, warm and heartfelt. One hand threads in his curls, and she turns to bury her face against his neck, taking just a second to bask. ] It is really good to have you back.

[ his arms wrap tightly around her waist, pulling her tightly against himself, as if trying to reassure himself that the moment is real. when he has, he leans his cheek against her hair, quietly saying: ] If you will hear it, I have something of an idea.

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