knightsoflegend | krozna ♔ our wrongs remain unrectified

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krozna ♔ our wrongs remain unrectified

WHO || Failboat, Mikhail Kalachnik, ?? ?? [closed]
WHAT || The Ex-Knights of Failboat arrive at Krozna
WHERE || Krozna, Russia
WHEN || 2 days after LA
HOW || Actionspam or prose

Sidelined from the mission that has been many of their lives for years, the group who had once stood against Keijen Blade has made a dangerous gambit - they've decided to leave the Knighthood, knowing they may never be allowed to return. With them, have gone Sam and Dean Winchester, and Faith Lehane. Their destination? A distant monastery overlooking the village of Krozna, in the Ural Mountains. This hidden location was home to many Shadowkind who did not wish to deal with the prejudice that their appearance might force upon them out in the world, particularly in Russia. Wynn had apparently established a location here for Knights that broke the rules of the Knighthood so extremely to reflect upon their crimes, or for those whose powers made it impossible for them to live out in civilized society.

This monastery of misfits is run by a man named Mikhail Kalachnik, a willing exile who volunteered for the position, a man vouched for as trustworthy by both Jack Chessing and Finnick Odair. It is here that the former Knights will set up a base of operations from which they intend to rescue Rafael Giovanni, research a way to stop Keijen Blade, and take him down once and for all, along with the evil Mind Master.

But first, they must get to know the exiled Knights with whom they will be sharing this hideout...

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[She wishes she could take the question back as soon as it's asked, but it's out and said and she sees the pain in Rose, pain that though she hadn't caused in the first place, she had just asked her to relive. She was such an ass.

It hits her that though it hadn't been that Rose had actually died, she still understood enough of the bond she had shared with Lissa to know that just because it wasn't her physical form that had perished, it didn't mean she hadn't gone through it all the same in every other way that counted.

Essentially, Rose had died twice now. And she remembered both times it had happened.

Alainn finishes her own glass as Rose recalls the horrific details, pouring more for both of them. They were going to need it.

The fact that Rose had killed the son of a bitch that had murdered Lissa and Max leaves Alainn with a keen sense of satisfaction, a feeling of justice. She hadn't known about Helen though.]

Good. I'm glad it was you that took him out. [another pause as she thinks about her next question.]

Please tell me Helen didn't know.

[She doesn't know how the other woman would still be a Knight if she had known it was the person she had been shacked up with that had killed the other two. She begs whatever gods were listening that Helen hadn't known, that she had somehow remained ignorant of what the vampire had done, that she hadn't stayed with him despite the fact that he had killed her fellow Knights.

that moment when Alainn has no idea the extent in cannon about Rose and Helen's relationship, or their falling out. ]

No. [ Rose shakes her head as if to dismiss that idea, but Alainn would see it. The sudden flash of uncertainty, the tensing of her shoulders. There was a time when she could have said that with complete confidence and yet now? ]

At least, I don’t think so? Lissa died the night before the Castle was attacked and… [ And well. Rose had died that day. ] That was about the time everything with Hell started and… I didn’t see her again until a little while before the concert.

She’s the reason Elena and Des outed themselves to us, I’m sure of it. I told her that running to Des could get us killed and she did it anyway, so… Nothing would surprise me at this point.

When I told her I’d go to Solace and Hasmed with what she'd done… she was only too happy to point out they’d believe her over me.

[ And she was right, which was the bitterest pill to swallow. Helen got to get away with everything she’d done because the person who had never doubted her was gone. Wynn would have believed her, she was sure of that but Wynn wasn’t here and once again somebody got to do whatever they wanted without ever having to face up to their actions. Cause that works so well around the Knights.]

Don’t worry. I backhanded her for it.

[Alainn just... takes a moment to digest that. She didn't know Helen, had never had occasion to speak with her really. But she at least knew how close Helen and Rose had been at one point, and to hear that not only had Helen been shacked up with the vampire responsible for the murders of their fellow Knights (and whether or not she knew he was the one was debatable), but that she had then been the one to tip off Des and Elena? It was sickening.

Then when she was about to be called out for it, had had the gall to gloat over the fact that the current "leaders" of the Knights would believe her over Rose? She was so glad the other woman had bitch-slapped her. She deserved that much and more.]

Good. You should've done it twice for good measure. [this is why Alainn and Rose are such good friends. Alainn woulda been right there behind Rose, slapping Helen too, or at the least cheering her friend on. She does not take kindly to people fucking with the ones she loves. ~~hahaha ha cue broken laughter for the rest of forever~~]

Trust me, I wanted to… Dean thought maybe there’s a chance she’s not completely herself. I don't know if it was her choices or other influences... Maybe it was Hell.

[ It would be easier if she could believe that. If she could cast Helen in the role of being manipulated into all the things she had done. If she could blame them for the fact that another person she had trusted, somebody she had loved had turned her back on everything they believed in and put her life in danger because it was out of their control, but Rose didn't buy it.]

I don’t see Hell holding her down and forcing her to get involved with them. She made her choice.

[ She sighs, forcing herself to set the mug down, knowing too well that if she tried to push through with it in her hand, they’d be half a bottle down before this story was over. ]

Anyway… Before all this things got… Harder, I guess? It wasn't any one thing it was just... Everything. The bond, the bullshit. I got to the point where I couldn't make myself go to one of those squiring ceremonies because I couldn't deal with one more crazy bitch trying to start something. So I went on missions and I trained and I - [ A ghost of a smile touches her lips because she knows how this will sound, especially after what she'd said about Dean. ] I discovered that alcohol helped to mute the bond some.

[ She never drank a lot, always considering it medicinal rather than recreational but it still became a part of her every day existence. It afforded her a measure of peace at a time when it was endless noise and in a lot of ways, that was exactly why Dean drank. They might have had different demons to contend with then, but alcohol seemed to be the only way to find some peace. ]

Dimitri and I were still good... mostly? [ Grimacing a little. ] About as good as you can be when your girlfriend drinks to quiet the voices in her head.

[ The attempt at humor falling flat when there was too much truth in those words and in spite of herself, she’s reaching for her drink again. ]

Elena wasn't around much, she had the Talisman Mission, but we talked all the time. She'd tell me about what was happening with all you guys and, she was the person I could talk to about what was happening here. We're the same age -

[ There's a hint of a smile but it's gone in an instant, lines creasing her forehead as reality hits home again. ] Were, anyway...

She struggled when she found out that she was a Doppelgangar. Like it made her different or, wrong somehow? I never really got it. To me she was Elena, my best friend. I didn't care what she was or where she came from. She never had to be more or less, she just had to be herself and if people had a problem with that, screw them.

[ She shakes her head because she knows that what she said never mattered. Elena seemed to be more concerned with everyone else's opinions than she was of those she was closest to. Or maybe it was just Elena's opinion of herself, but whatever it was? It hardly mattered now. ]

I was there when she was Knighted. When Spike and Myri returned and Kyp was revealed. [ Her expression tightens, fine lines wrinkling the corners of her eyes and the grip on her mug turns her knuckles white as still, even now, after everything that's happened she can't damn well bring herself to reveal the one thing that she knows Elena would hate people knowing.]

She had this issue with anyone seeing her as a victim. Like it made her weak or, powerless somehow... but she wasn't you know. You can be a person that has bad shit happen to you, but that doesn't make you less somehow. It's just, life. [ Rose got that, to a point, never wanting be seen as a victim but that didn't mean you could erase the bad things. No matter how strong you were, how powerful or confident you were... You were still going to have bad things happen. It was how you handled those things that said who you truly were.]

It's going to sound stupid but, one of the few things I had that I never had to doubt was my appearance. It was like, the one part of my identity that the bond could never touch, ya know? Nobody had hair quite like mine or, calluses on their hands in the exact same places I did. It was such a small thing but when things were bad, it was comforting. [ She looks down at her mug, giving it another swirl and this time taking a drink before she dares continue. ]

I still don't know which part bothers me the most... that Elena broke Kyp out. That she didn't even leave me so much as an explanation or that when she did it? She let that monster use my face. Or maybe it's that she involved Dimitri in it.

[ That's not a part of Elena's escapades that many people know. It certainly wasn't something Rose advertised. She'd told Dean and at the time he'd said that if you really knew a person, you could tell the difference and it confirmed every fear that had been haunting her from the moment she'd found out. ]

How are you supposed to feel when the person you believe knows you better than you know yourself, the one who is supposed to be able to keep you from getting lost in another persons thoughts and feelings... can't tell the difference between you and a sociopath wearing your face?

[She takes another deep drink from her mug as well, trying to digest all that Rose had just said.

She hadn't known. Not about Elena letting Kyp use Rose's face. Not about Dimitri not being able to tell the difference. She didn't know how you were supposed to feel about something like that, how the hell would she feel about something like that? Dean had been right, she knew that much. If you really knew someone, if you had an actual bond with another being, there was some part of you that would always know them. No matter what. She believed that with her entire heart.

So many pieces of the puzzle of who Dean and Rose are together began snapping into place, so much of the subtext beneath all of the words and glances and touches were coming to light (Wisdom check Nat fucking 20), so much of the bond that they had forged making so much more sense now. And Sam? No, she didn't know he and Dean's entire history, but she knew enough, knew that there had been another Sam who had made all different choices and had ended up on the other side of things. But the Sam with them now? How hard had that been for Dean to come to terms with, to learn to live with? The Sam that had come through the Veil was still Dean's Sam. Still his brother, the one he would know anywhere, in any world, in any lifetime. And he had had to reconcile that with the Sam that had chosen such a different path in this world. That was an example of, when you really knew someone, you would always know them, no matter anything else in between.

She doesn't say anything, knowing that Rose's question was more rhetorical than actually searching for an answer, knowing that her friend needed to purge this, to share her burden, more than she needed commentary.

She reaches out, her hand squeezing Rose's in silent encouragement for her to continue when she can. She will listen for as long as Rose has need of her.]

[ Her gaze shifts to Alainn's hand as it squeezes hers, the small gesture of comfort an encouragement so foreign when coming from somebody other than Dean that she finds herself staring at their interlocked hands. Absorbing the sensation, the accompanying emotion. The full comprehension that this is what it means to have a true friend. Somebody who could be a constant in her life without fear of the knife being slipped in if she dropped her guard. Alainn might never be able to understand how rare that was for Rose, especially with the life she now led but it was everything. To know that it was more than just her and Dean against the world.

Her mouth pulls with the emotion that runs across her features, Rose's fingers curling around Alainn's hand to squeeze it back. Her chest tightening as the silence hangs between them but when she eases her grip, it's as if there's been a release of tension. Her body relaxing just a fraction as she exhales a long, slow breath. ]

I nearly died that night. [ A humorless huff escaping. ] Twice. I was part of the group who went to the Blade concert. He did his, stupid mind thing on everyone in the audience and like an idiot I got caught by it.

[ The tension returns, tenfold now at the memory of being out of control. But then given all Rose had said about the bond, it's hardly a surprise that she would have a violent response to another person invading her mind in such a way. She spent so much time spinning out of control that losing it entirely was a line she couldn't stand being crossed. It was one of the many reasons she hated Lila so much, for the casual way that she had done a similar thing to her. One of the reasons why she never wanted Elena anywhere near her now, knowing what she was capable of as a Changeling and how much worse she could possibly be now as a Fiend. ]

I ended up on stage with him and to prove that I loved him the most, he told me to kill myself. I was going to. I had my stake out ready to turn it on myself but I can remember having this moment - this, single thought in the middle of it all. [ She swallows hard, the memory too close to the surface for Rose to ignore the emotion behind it. ] Elena. She needed me. If I died, who was going to be there for her?

[ Meanwhile, as all this was happening? Elena was in the process of breaking Kyp out.]

Sometimes I wonder if the whole reason he let me go was because he knew there was something worse than death waiting for me. When we got back to the Hotel we learned that Luthir had died. He's the whole reason I ended up with The Knights, you know. [ Not a connection that everyone was aware of, though her being squired to him was hardly a secret. ] He found me when the group I was running with got ambushed by a nest of vamps. Saved my life, brought me back to London to meet Wynn and mentored me as my Knight.

It was when I called Dimitri to tell him what had happened that I found out what Elena had done... I barely had a chance to react when Blade took control again. He would have walked me into the Hudson River along with everyone else, if not for Myri. By the time that night was over? Hundreds of people were dead and I'd lost my best friend, my boyfriend and my mentor and with it? Everything I thought I was.

[ She pulls her hand free to scrub it over her face, needing a moment to let all of that settle. A heaviness resting on her chest despite the gradual ease of weight on her shoulders. ]

That was when I reached out to Dean.

[Her Nat 20 is gonna just carry over for the rest of this conversation, lending her a keen insight into reading her friends' moods and emotions.

She knows the easing of tension in Rose's shoulders, and its return are about two different things altogether, and she can only listen with mounting horror and anger at the twists Rose's life had taken, such cruelty heaped on one person.

Again, she doesn't say anything, knowing words from her aren't necessary.]

[ The shift in subject, the arrival of Dean back into her story seems to bring with it a sense of peace. That ghost like smile gracing her lips once more as she returns to a memory that rather than dredge up pain? Marks the beginning of positive change in her life. ]

I was so sure he was going to tell me to piss off that I actually pretended to be somebody else to get him on the phone. [ A wry smile pulling at the corner of her mouth as when she reaches for her drink this time, it's more a casual sip than a need to suppress emotion. ] He almost did and given our one and only interaction before that, I didn't blame him... but then I did something I don't think I've ever done before or since. I told him I needed him.

[ It had been raw and honest. More emotionally open than she was usually capable of and there had been a desperation about her at the time. Even then she'd still expected him to shut her down because Rose wasn't used to ever asking for something for herself. She'd never been taught that her own wants or needs were ever allowed to matter but in a twist that would set her life on an entirely new path? Dean had put her first. ]

And he came.

There were five of us. Dean and Myself. Helen, Archer - some guy who knew Elena before she came through the veil, Damon. Probably the five worst personalities to put on a mission together. Had we all stuck it out, we probably would have killed each other within a month... but nobody stuck around that long. Soon, it was just me and Dean. The two of us driving our way across Europe, chasing ghosts. He didn't have to stick around. I'm sure Wynn didn't expect it but I wasn't willing to give up and he - [The smile making her lips twitch. ] - came along for the ride.

I thought it was just about finding Kyp, bringing him back to face the consequences of what he did... but over those three months it became about, getting to know myself. Figuring out who I was without Dimitri and Elena.

[ It was a time when she stopped relying on those closest to her to be her anchor in the midst of all this change, and found a way to be that for herself. In trying to keep moving to stay one step ahead of everything that had happened, she'd ended up moving towards something. Towards someone, in the form of Dean. ]

And I guess, getting to know Dean. Nothing happened... not while we were on the road. We just sort of, fell into sync with each other. We stopped pushing quite so hard and started trying to understand each other. He had my back... at a time when it felt like nobody else did, and that mattered.

[ She lifts her gaze to look at Alainn, the smile resting easier for a moment. ]

There wasn't any one moment where I fell in love with him. I didn't even realize it was happening until I already had. He wasn't a replacement for Dimitri. It wasn't, trying to find myself through somebody else. I had to figure that out first and then everything else all fell into place.

It wasn't until we came back that I realized not everyone agreed with what we were doing. Dean and I were the villains because we dared to try and bring them back. They acted like we were Hunters chasing after one of our own. They didn't seem to care about what she'd done, the damage she'd caused when she took it upon herself to decide what should happen. You'd think Kyp was some poor, misunderstood man and not a sociopathic rapist who was responsible for the kidnapping of two of our own people. And Elena? She could do no wrong. Poor little Elena needed to be protected from the big bad things in the world. She couldn't possibly be responsible for her own actions, her own choices.

[She recognizes that look, the softness that comes to Rose's features. Although they had gotten there through totally different paths, through their own kind of trials, that soft fall into love was something Alainn knew so well. It was what had happened to her with Mark. ]

It never is just one moment, it's all of it, big and small together.

[Her face hardens as Rose continues, a dark cloud of emotion gathering behind her brows. She hadn't known about the perception of her and Dean when they returned to the castle. So much of her time had been spent on Andres, to help with the rebuild, that she hadn't been there for her friend. Had she known? Maybe she couldn't have swayed anyone else's opinions, made them see how blinded they were, but at least she would have been another person in Rose and Dean's corner. Maybe it wouldn't have taken Rose so long to feel like she could open up. Maybe she wouldn't have had to feel so alone for as long as she had.

Apologies brim on the tip of her tongue, but she bites them back. 'I'm sorry's' were redundant after being said so many times before.]

I should have been there, at the castle for you.

[ For Rose's part, she looks surprised by Alainn's words. Nothing but pure confusion for the idea that the other woman hadn't been there, or that she hadn't done enough. Because she had, whether she knew it or not. For her it was perhaps just sharing a meal with a stranger who had been through a war but for Rose? It had been a fork in the road and it was Alainn who had led her back to the Knights. ]

You were. [ It's said so simply and easily that it's hard to imagine Rose could ever have felt differently. ] You were the first person to make me feel like... I was right to keep trying. It wasn't all awful... it wasn't like they were all against me.

[ It's not as if those who she perceived were, were constantly reminding her of it either. It was just an attitude. The way they acted as though they were surprised she was even there. Like she hadn't been fighting alongside them in every mission. Like she hadn't proven herself time and time again. ]

But when people are coddling Elena while acting like I'm not even there?

[ She shrugs, because she can't change it. It's not like she wants to be their friends. She has people who she trusts, who she knows support her and that's all that matters now. She's found a way to push through and to stand by what she believes is right and in the end? Elena screwed them all in ways that Rose expected would have repercussions for years, maybe even decades to come. ]

Sometimes I think that maybe, if there'd been some consequences for what she did, we wouldn't be here now. Maybe if she'd been sent to a place like this... or if she'd gotten help? Because the thing I just can't get past is, everything that happened? That's not the Elena I was friends with. The person I left in London and the person I found in Andres? They couldn't have been more different if they tried... but nobody wanted to acknowledge that. It was like, everyone wanted to pretend it hadn't happened. Sweep it all under the rug and carry on like everything was fine.

That's what scares me... that it's going to happen again. That people are going to downplay what she's done or worse, actually think they can save her. Because... they can't. She doesn't need saving, she never has. She's not their friend. She's not their anything anymore she's the Queen of Hell. She's lived for hundreds of years in Hell and in the grand scheme of her life? We're nothing to her. We're a handful of years in the space of an eternity and when we die? I doubt she'll even register it.

But it's always about protecting sweet innocent Elena... and if that happens again? I might actually lose my shit.

[ She sighs, trying to reel back the rising anger before it can take over, her fingers idly running through her hair and there's a look on her face, one that is somehow both sad and tired at the same time, before resignation settles across her features. ]

The stupid thing is... This began with Elena desperately trying to prove to everyone that she wasn't a monster, and now? That's exactly what she's become.

[The thing is, yeah Alainn gets that she is now the Queen of Hell and all that shit, but she doesn't really...know how she became a fiend? How did one even... was transform the right word?]

What I don't understand is... how? How did she become what she is now? She and Des both. I understand that she is not human anymore, but... the logistics of it don't make sense to me.

Who knows. [ It's honest at least. She doesn't seem to be hiding things now.] It's not like... dying your hair or whatever and you can't exactly google; My ex-Best Friend is a Fiend, tell me how.

They needed a body that would survive in Hell. However that was achieved? I'm not sure I want to know.

[ And none of this is really explaining anything, she knows that but the only people who can truly answer this question are Elena and Des. ]

For me? It's not about what they are or how they became that way. I'm about as human as you are. [ The Half-Elf and The Half-Vampire. ] Spike's a Vampire. My friend Bo? She's a Succubus and none of that matters because I know where we all stand but those two? Their only loyalty is to Hell and themselves. We'd be stupid to think otherwise.

[She nods, both in agreement and understanding, her mouth twisting wryly as she thinks about her few interactions with Des, a new understanding of all the hidden meanings in his words and conversations with her on Andres. About love, about life. She'd rather forget her brush with that side of things, the closeness that could've been so easy and natural on her part. The thought that it was probably all just a part of some twisted, Hell-scheme causes her to shudder in revulsion. She would never understand them choosing literal Devils over anything else. But she wants to hear the rest of Rose's story, not get them more mired in angst and anger over something neither of them could change, no matter how frustrating it is.]

So... I know that you and Dean got together soon after you came back. On Andres, right? How did all of that go down? What happened with Dimitri? [cuz surely that isn't a sore subject at all, Alainn.]

Heh... Yeah. [ She grimaces now because as much as she doesn't regret what happened, it's still not a moment she's entirely proud of. For as much as she knew where things stood for her, it wasn't as clear cut as that. ]

Technically... there was some overlap. [ Her lips pressing together but if she's going to share her story, it couldn't be the flowery version that ignored the bad It had to be the truth, no matter how it made her look. ]

I didn't speak to Dimitri much at all in those three months. I'd text back, let him know I was alive but I didn't have much to say. [ And she realizes now that he hadn't deserved that. That nobody, not even she, could have punished him for what happened half as much as he did himself.]

I don't blame him for it. Not anymore... [ Her own death had made her realize how little she did. ] I just didn't know how to get past it and I didn't know how to love him again when I wasn't the same person who left London.

[ And then of course, there was Dean. The person she'd fallen in love with and hadn't even realized it. ]

We returned to London for the first time for the briefing. I told Dean to crash in my room so I could, work off some of my excess energy... and Dimitri showed up at my door looking for me. [ Her face speaks volumes. You can imagine how well that went down. ] I show up to a six foot seven Russian glaring at Dean, who had a bloody lip. I lost my shit him. Said some, really awful things.

[ Had he deserved them? She thought so at the time but hindsight was 20/20. ]

Everything was overly emotional. Dean had just seen Sam for the first time. Being back for the first time since Luthir died was... uncomfortable to say the least, but as I was cleaning him up there was this moment... I don't know what it was but it all suddenly clicked in my head. That we weren't just, two people who were chasing down leads across the countryside. I came within an inch of fucking it all up when I thought he was giving me the brush off but then he kissed me... and for the first time in more months than I could remember. Everything felt... right.

[Her smile is soft, happy for her friend, that even through all of her trials she was able to find such love and happiness. Yes, there had been pain, and would still be more to come, but that she had someone to go through it with her who understood far more than any other person could.]

It's what we go through together that forms the most unbreakable bonds, and what you and Dean have been through? Can't be topped by anything anyone else has with you, love.

[ It doesn't change that she hadn't handled herself as well as she could, but looking back on it? She was a child, trying to cope with things so far beyond her ability to comprehend. One thing she could have processed, maybe? But everything all at once? ]

Meeting him was the single best thing that's ever happened to me. [ She says it simply as if it's just an accepted fact. Unlike Dean, she doesn't believe that he's the reason all these things have happened. Rose thinks they would have happened anyway but he is the reason she's okay today... or as okay as any one person can be. ]

We make each other... better. [ Not just feel better, but be better. Like they bring out the best parts of each other and soften each other's rough edges. ]

[The genuine happiness Rose is exuding is contagious, and Alainn's smile grows as her friend reflects on Dean and their happiness together.]

Two halves of a unique whole made from the both of you.

Something like that. [ Not even trying to hide the smile that creeps its way across her lips. ]

We just... get each other in ways that other people can't. [ In ways that even Alainn, with all that Rose had told her, couldn't begin to understand. She knew more than just about anyone, but there were some things that Dean hadn't shared and they would never be Rose's to tell. ]

And keep each other sane... mostly. [ Can you really hold onto your sanity in the wake of everything? ] It's been a long two years.

Two years to forge yourselves into the unit you are together now. [her hand is light on Rose's arm before giving a gentle squeeze. She refills both their glasses with the fire-whiskey, sipping hers slowly as she leans back into her chair, allowing the liquor to ease some of her tension that had built over the course of Rose's story.]

It's beautiful.

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krozna ♔ our wrongs remain unrectified

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epic wall of text

I love all of it

<3

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