knightsoflegend | OPEN; life's a piece of shit when you look at it

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OPEN; life's a piece of shit when you look at it

♬ Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - Monty Python

WHO || [Open] Andie and YOU!
WHAT || APRIL FOOLS PRANKS
WHERE || All around the castle
WHEN || 4/1
HOW || Prose or action spam welcome! Also feel free to start threads for other pranks and tag those other threads and MAKE IT A PRANK PARTY. Said threads can also be open or closed.

Today is a very dangerous day to be wandering about the castle minding your own business.

Because today is April Fool's Day, and Andie has decided it's a perfect day to celebrate being back from her mission through the joy of PRANKS. And she's very, very fast, so she's very, very good at it.

That coffee cup you were about to take a sip from? It's suddenly been replaced with a rubber chicken. That couldn't POSSIBLY have to do with that breeze you felt and that blur of motion you saw, could it?

If you can't find your glasses anywhere, try looking where you last left them. There may or may not be a prescription pair of Groucho Marx glasses.

And anywhere, if you're fast enough, you might catch a glimpse of Andie, doubled over in laughter and just having the freaking time of her life.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Riddick had never heard of April Fools day before.

Even with every person in the castle running around laughing like lunatics, no one had deemed it necessary to fill him in on the world-wide joke. And what a way to come home from his first mission only to be greeted by endless pranks, cranks, whoopie cushions, rubber chickens and come hell or high water if Andie takes his welders goggles and replaces them with Groucho Marx glasses he will hunt her ass down. He doesn't care how fast she is.

So, he is just attempting to go through his day like any other day here. Training, eating, reading, whatever else he can do to try and assimilate to this place.

PRANK HIM IF YOU DARE! [~~Only please do, it would be too freaking funny.~~]

Unfortunately for Riddick, Andie has already placed him in the "Tough on the outside, softie on the inside" category. This is what happens when you're nice to people! So basically, he seems like the perfect person to prank.

So she follows him into the kitchen, staying a safe distance away (hide nat 20), and as soon as he's not looking, she zooms in quietly (move silently 24) and squirts hot sauce into his coffee (Or whatever preferably not see-through morning drink he chooses to have). Then she's gone, leaving nothing but a muffled giggle.

Riddick neither sees nor hears Andie come into the kitchen. He goes to the fridge to make himself some grub, having indeed grabbed a cup of coffee and placed it on the counter. When he turns back with an armful of food he thinks he sees a blur of something on the edge of his vision (spot check 23, still not good enough). His head jerks that way a moment and focuses on the door but as nothing else happens he goes back to placing his food on the counter.

He also hadn't heard Andie put the hot sauce in his cup, or her mischievous giggle as she fled the room (crit fail!) so after he makes a sandwich of epic proportions he takes a big ol' sip of coffee.

Annnnd immediately does a spit-take, plunking his mug back down on the counter. The spice hits his throat and as he tries to cough it out of his mouth it backs up into his nose, causing his eyes to water. He jerks his goggles off, wiping furiously at his now stinging eyes as he continues to cough.

"What the FUCK?! Who the hell makes coffee like that?" He jerks his mug off the counter, turning and dumping the rest out into the sink. He shakes his head, grabbing a bottle of water instead and collecting his food to sit at the table and finish in peace.

After this he was heading to the training room where NO ONE WOULD SURELY BOTHER HIM!

This time, Andie doesn't even need to bother him. She's already been there. She does, however, catch up to him as he gets there, standing behind some large exercise equipment that allowed her some room to see him while still keeping her fairly obfuscated (hide 23).

Be careful, Riddick. It looks like someone vomited on the floor. Don't worry if you step in it, though, it's fake. Though also wet for a more realistic gross-out experience.

Riddick enters the room, not noticing right off the pile of vomit on the floor, though as he steps up to the machine it is directly in front of he stops short. Lucky for him the sight of vomit is not enough to turn his stomach, though he does get a confused look on his face, his nose scrunching up as he looks around for the culprit.

With a 25 spot check he sees Andie, and what with her hiding behind some equipment like a creepy person he immediately assumes she did it and is either too sick or too weak stomached to clean it up herself. And he totally calls her out on it.

"Hey, you gonna clean your mess up or what?" He is so not touching someone else's vomit.

"Okay!" In a flash, she's out from behind the equipment, looking all too cheerful for someone who has supposedly just thrown up. She goes over to him and picks up the fake vomit, then glances up at him, grinning like a lunatic, and throws it at him.

He bats it away out of reflex, his lip curling in a grimace as he waits for the back-splash of vomit. His face changes from disgust to confusion as the rubber bounces from his palm and lands on the floor a few feet away with a wet slapping sound.

"Why the hell would you put fake vomit on the ground?"

"Um, duh?" She picks it up again, shoving it into the backpack of tricks she's wearing. "April Fools!" She throws up her arms excitedly. "Today it's like, required that you play tricks on people." She drops her arms, looking distressed suddenly. "Do they not have it in the future?" Because that would suck, since she really might see that future. What kind of horrible grim future wouldn't have April Fools Day?

He's just even more confused at that, crossing his arms and fixing her with a look as she stuffs the vomit away. April Fools? What the hell was that? He was about to find out cuz he sure hated being left out of the loop.

"Never heard of it." That's his way of asking what the hell it is and why you have to play tricks on people.

Andie looks horrified. She puts a hand on his shoulder, patting it sympathetically. "You poor thing. How have you lived?" She drops her hand, thoughts racing through her head at high speed. "Oh hey, maybe that's why you're so grumpy. Not enough humor in your life."

His arms cross as he considers her mournful expression. He had lived quite well, thank you very much! He lets out a rough grumble at her assessment of his "not having had enough humor in his life," neatly proving her point to everyone but himself.

"Hmmm, you think so?"

"Am I wrong?" Because no matter how well he's lived, he is not showing a great deal of April Fools spirit. She pouts at him. "You were totally not laughing at my hot sauce in the coffee prank either."

"Ahh, so that was you I saw in the kitchen. I just thought whoever made the coffee was a dip-shit. And 'course I wasn't laughing at it, it tasted like ass." He uncrosses his arms, hands fisting lightly and resting on his hips as he watches her pout grow.

"You gonna tell me what's so special about today, or just keep pouting that I don't find it funny?" He is so not a grump, right? Right.

"Uhh..." is he asking for history? Because Andie has no idea. She is so far from researching things girl. She's just full of pranks enthusiasm. "It's just a holiday? April Fool's Day is every April first. Maybe it's like, to celebrate it being spring. But whatever, it's mostly just lots of fun."

"So you just go around pulling pranks on other people all day for the hell of it?"

He considered the possibilities for a moment. Her speed combined with the fact that he really didn't care what others thought of him might make for a pretty good team. He was definitely not the kind of guy who would normally pull pranks on others just for the hell of it, but he had already grown bored and a bit restless from being back in the castle.

It almost sounded fun.

He was getting it. She grinned and nodded, pushing her bag of tricks at him. It was full of all sorts of useful prank items. The hot sauce and fake vomit, of course, but also disappearing ink, fake blood, various types of rope and string, cellophane, bubble wrap, and anything else Andie could think of that might come in handy. At least, the things that might come in handy and could fit in a large backpack.

"Yep! And they can't get mad."

Riddick takes the bag, searching through it as a few chuckles escape his mouth. He really has no freaking clue how to pull a prank on anyone because his first instinct is to be sure they would be incapacitated or die from it. Not such a good plan, that. He hands the bag back to Andie, crossing his arms as an amused smile comes to his lips.

"Lead the way and show me how it's done."

She grins, bouncing back and forth on her heels in excitement. She was having plenty of fun all on her own, but it's way more fun with a partner in crime. She only hopes that his slowness doesn't cramp her style. Still, he makes up for it in at least one way. "Really? Cause I had a few ideas, and you're tall."

"Really. I don't have anything better to do with my time today anyway. Might as well try to get some shits and giggles out of it." He heads away from the equipment, making for the doors to the training room and heading out.

The hallway is pretty quiet around here for this time of day, but most of the fighters are either away on missions still, or not awake yet. He doesn't wait long (like any time at all really) for Andie to catch up.

"Where do we start?"

Catching up? What is this catching up you speak of? She could run circles around him. She doesn't! She's been told that gets annoying. But she could.

"I was thinking the kitchen door." She swung her bag around to her front and started rummaging around until she found a pack of water balloons. "Then we can move on to... all the doors."

He catches on pretty quickly when he sees the water balloons, a sadistic smile lighting his face. As they get to the kitchen he ruffles through the cupboards quickly, looking for anything that would leave a stain.

He grabs an armful of food-coloring, adding copious amounts to the balloons to be filled with water before handing them off to Andie to fill and tie. Once those are filled, he begins placing them strategically on the doors in and out of the kitchen so the slightest nudge would send them flying. He proceeds to do this with as many doors in the immediate vicinity as possible while Andie keeps the supply of balloons going.

It takes her a while because she keeps having to stop for short bursts of giggles. And because no matter how fast Andie is, water speed doesn't really change. But she fills plenty of them, watching Riddick set them up without her.

"Don't forget to leave us a way out!" She calls. She's not worried for herself, really. She's faster than gravity. But since Riddick is her partner in crime, she should warn him.

Annnd her warning came just moments too late. He had been so confident in how awesome this particular prank was going to be, and how well he had rigged this all up that he hadn't paid any attention to getting himself out. When he realized his mistake, just moments before Andie's warning, he had assessed the position of the door and realized what he had done to himself.

He was confident though. He had gotten himself out of plenty of tight places before, this one would surely be a piece of cake, right? Wrong.

He steps up to the door, beginning to ease himself between the jamb and the actual door when Andie calls out her warning. His muscles bunch at her yell, nudging the door wider. His hands shoot forward quickly for the door, attempting to stop what was about to happen. Instead of a smooth grab he jams his thumb on the edge of the wood, his hand then fumbling for a grip as he curses beneath his breath. Jerking his hand back away from the door he looks up just in time for the balloon on top to splat! right on his face.

Dark green liquid dribbles over his face as he slowly lowers his face, looking over at Andie, a dead-pan look on his face.

"Wanna repeat that?"

Nope, Andie's not repeating herself. Andie's put the balloons down in favor of LAUGHING HER ASS OFF. She is holding onto the counter to support her as she lets herself have a fit of mad giggles.

Finally she manages to gather enough breath to speak.

"At least we know the trick works now!"

Riddick keeps the dead-pan look affixed to his features, wiping one hand down from his forehead to his chin. Thankfully he wears goggles, so none had gotten in his eyes, making him smirk. He was about to test how fast Andie really was.

With a NAT 20 ranged attack (making it an even 30) he takes the last balloon still in his hand and whips it at her and her laughing body just before she looks up to speak.

She's too distracted to avoid or outrun it. It splooges into her, covering her with paint. She lets out a little shriek as it hits and stops laughing, looking down at her paint-covered self. Then she looks back up at Riddick... expression quavering before she... cracks up laughing again.

She manages to get over it faster this time, partly due to a moment of letting herself enter superspeed time. Then, she grabs a balloon and hurls it back at him (atk 25).

Riddick watches it hit her, a loud, abrupt laugh ripping out of his mouth. He had seen how fast she could move and it pissed him off he couldn't track her if she was at top speed. He had just made his own day by proving that, in the right situation, he could still make a hit. Even if it was on April Fools, with a water balloon filled with paint.

It still made him grin.

As she hurtles her retaliatory balloon at him he is just barely able to dodge out of the way (Reflex save 26!), dropping to the floor and rolling behind the kitchen island. He lets out another hearty laugh, knowing that with her speed she would corner him in mere moments, but that didn't mean he had to make it easy on her.

"That all the better you can do, speedy?"

April Fool's Day is a magical holiday in which Knights often play dangerous, potentially lethal tricks on each other, year after year, because many of them are insanely powerful and not entirely stable. Solace, with his total lack of sense of humor, takes revenge on all the pranks that will inevitably be played on him for being a stick in the mud, by closing down the medical wing for the day every year, leaving everyone to fester in their own damn wounds if they go and get themselves fucked up either via being pranked, or because they pranked the wrong person.

So there's a big sign on the door that says "CLOSED". Deal with it. He'll be in his office. With the door locked. :|

Without even pausing to see if it hit, she's already throwing another one (atk 24). She almost doesn't care if she hits him or not. She's just having way too much fun with it.

Hell, maybe she'll even get him to go through one of the booby trapped doors. That would be even more funny the second time around.

[ Do you dare prank the cute guy, Andie? DO YOU???

Cuz he's chilling in the lounge upstairs playing vidya games right now. ]

[This is why I need to stop replying to stuff so late at night/early in the morning. Reading my Char. Sheet translates to mistyping my answers. It was supposed to read Defense 26, Reflex save 16 to duck behind the counter. Lol me and my sleepy writing. ANYWAY]

Her second attack misses him as well, splattering right above his head against the counter and spraying him with even more paint in the process. He lets out another rumbly laugh, not able to remember a time he actually had fun like this ever.

He takes another balloon and whips it at her with dead-on accuracy [another Nat 20 WOOT! He is on fiyah right now!] then bolts for the door whose trap he'd already sprung, not falling for that again.

[AHHH that makes sense. Also, woah, that's AWESOME defense.]

She sputters as the paint hits her, then takes off after him. Running from Andie is a pretty fruitless task. She catches up to him without really attempting and stands in front of him, a wicked grin on her face and a balloon in her hand. She raises her arm to throw it at him, but before she can, she squeezes it a little too hard and it explodes all over her (nat 1 oops). She just stands there blinking for a moment.

[OH SHE DARES ALL RIGHT. She has changed clothes and cleaned up since her paint balloon extravaganza, so she does not look like a multicolored blob anymore.

Of course, she still has paint balloons left.

And she sneaks up (move silently 13) pretty quickly to smash it over his head (atk 11). Or tries to, anyway.]

[ he is way too quick for that shit, and he sees her reflection in the tv, yo, so he ROLLS out of the way, attempting to reach up and grab her but... totally missing as he does so ]

Hey now!

[Andie laughs, the paint balloon splashing on the couch as she ducks away. She's WAY too quick to be grabbed like that, and she's on the other side of the room in an instant.]

Hey, catch!

[She's got another in her hand, and she chucks it at him, but she's still giggling so it's not the best toss ever (atk 15).]

[ Yeah, he can't so much catch it, so at the last minute he jumps aside and it spatters on the couch. His eyes widen as he stares back at it. ] Attacking an unarmed man, huh?

I tried to give you a balloon! Not my fault you couldn't catch! [She tosses another one (atk 14), not even bothered that she keeps missing. Though she'll get paint on him if it kills her, she swears.]

[ And he leaps aside again, laughing, and manages to trip entirely on an end table there. Yep. His expression changes from mirth to surprise as he throws his hands out to try and catch himself, but lands face first on the floor. Ow, his dignity.

]

[Andie, sympathetic soul that she is, goes over and drops a balloon straight down onto him (atk 16).]

Riddick doesn't hesitate in laughing his ass off at that. He knew she would catch up to him, but he hand't expected her to attack herself. It was hilarious to watch the incredulity on her face, which made him laugh even harder.

In fact he laughs so hard at this entire thing, he ends up doubled over, wheezing from laughter (Crit fail on a Will Save. This is what you get with Riddick released from his stoicism. Crazy-ass laughter).

[ Fred is prone and has no Dex bonus to defense nooooo 8( SPLOOSH. It lands right on his face even as he tries to raise a hand to knock it aside but nup. Everywhere.

He lets out a groan.] Uncle.

She shakes her head, rubbing the paint from her eyes, then goes over to him and wipes her hands on his shirt. Not that it'll make any difference at all, paint covered as they both are. But it's the principle of the thing.

But she's grinning because it's really fun to see Riddick laugh like a crazy person. "Okay, okay, we're supposed to be using our powers against other people!"

Champion! [She raises her hands victoriously, then offers him an arm up.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

OPEN; life's a piece of shit when you look at it

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Pffft omg best place ever for him to CRIT FAIL!

asdklfjaskdfj

...and wow, how many times can I say face in one sentence? I was really tired when I wrote that!

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...pretty sure this is not a reflex save situation. Just defense?

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