knightsoflegend | OPEN ♔ I'LL FIND IT IN MYSELF TO GIVE THIS ONE MORE SHOT

Entry tags:

OPEN ♔ I'LL FIND IT IN MYSELF TO GIVE THIS ONE MORE SHOT

WHO || Francesca and YOU [open]
WHAT || It's been a long couple of days for some and an eternity for others.
WHERE || Knights HQ; the medical wing
WHEN || Wednesday, April 11
HOW || Either actionspam or prose, multiple threads.

Francecsa's alive for quite a while before she actually comes to, her breathing slow and even. When she finally begins to rouse, her body is first to react, although it's movements and changes are slight, such as a finger twitch or a more exaggerated exhale. Her mind is a little slower to perk up, as it's quite the sensory overload to suddenly return from nothingness to life, but she soon feels the darkness give way to coherency.

The room itself isn't very stimulating, and while the lack of provocation helps her brain focus on waking up, it does nothing to ease the rapid assault of memories that are subsequently flashing behind closed eyelids. As her reminiscing approaches her present condition, her chest starts to rise and fall much more desperately. When she finds herself practically gasping for air, she finally opens her eyes in hopes it will stop the violent spinning in her head.

She knows she's not alone. She can feel him in the room, Christos that is. When her eyes shoot open, on top of the fear, she feels a sudden panic that maybe he isn't here, and this feeling is just from reliving so many memories of him at once. With the room spinning, it's impossible for her to immediately locate him, though, and she finds she can't really just move, the soreness in her body complete. All this just fuels her hyperventilation even more, and she gives up focusing on anything but just breathing for a couple seconds, desperately hoping she's somewhere safe, and not alone.

* * * * *

After he leaves, she just sleeps more, not trusting herself to walk anywhere, let alone all the way to her room. So she'll just hang out in the cleric wing, drifting in and out of nightmare-accompanied sleep. She wakes in a panic several times, desperately trying to free herself from whatever it is she's dreaming about. She can't really stop any visitors, not that she'd mind a few good words right now anyway.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Did I...?" She word catches in her throat and a look of fear overtakes her countenance before she closes her eyes to push it away. She doesn't want to make him say it, so she just nods her head slowly to show she understands as she opens them again.

It takes her a few moments of studying his features to notice the strain etched into them and her brow creases in apprehension. She clears a throat before attempting to speak again. "Has everyone else returned as well?"

Her shift off from the question allows him a moment to watch her come to terms with the possibilities. Unfortunately, it also lends a sense of reality to the situation that was missing in the first moment of pure relief, and he becomes aware of the way he's still gripping her hand, and extricates it slowly.

"Everyone's fine," he says, and there's a testy impatience to the pronouncement as if he doesn't care about their well-being, and she shouldn't either.

Her eyes immediately shift down to his hand as he pulls away and she curls her fingers into a fist in response to it's absence. She feels a stinging sensation behind her eyes and lets her gaze fall back to the ceiling, quick to will it away.

Now she just feels vulnerable, so she gathers her strength and pushes herself up on her elbows, gritting through the discomfort of actually moving for the first time in days. She gives the room a fleeting once-over before turning back to him. Several immediate questions enter her mind, and despite the circumstances, she instinctively considers which ones he'll actually answer and which ones will scare him away.

She takes careful scrutiny of his reaction as she asks tentatively, "How did you even find me?"

He considers ordering her to stop trying to sit up but restrains himself, at least. Still, he's on the edge of his seat waiting for her to collapse and this tentative moment to crumble to so much dust.

At her question, he averts his gaze, finding a corner of the blanket to fixate on.

"It hardly matters."

She finds it hard to believe it doesn't matter, and so she assumes the opposite, giving him a suspicious look. Regardless, she doesn't have the strength to argue with him right now, so she moves on.

"If you say so," she resigns with a short sigh. "I just wish..." She breaks off, attempting to school the emotion from her voice, and mostly failing. "I wish I could have done more." Besides get myself killed, she adds in her head, a defeated look clouding her features.

"Done more?" His tone is incredulous, disbelieving. He stares at her for a long moment before he can compose words. "You averted a war. The man who survived the attack's thrown his full support behind the idea of an alliance. They're in negotiations with the sun elves at this moment."

She's thrown off by his tone, and then truly dumbfounded by his words. She holds his gaze as she attempts to absorb what he's telling her, and she feels her stomach drop in relief as she learns of the man's survival.

She swallows hard, looking away from him for a moment to digest the information. "I didn't -" She looks up at him, apologetically. "That's a relief to hear, I suppose, after everything."

He drops his gaze instantly, laboring under the weight of his own memory of exactly how the man survived.

"Yes, well, it's amazing how much influence a martyr can have on a situation," he says, and there's a strong bitterness behind his words that doesn't speak to any relief whatsoever at the current state of affairs.

Only he could make her feel ashamed for inadvertently becoming said martyr. She looks even more dejected than before.

"I didn't intend to become a... martyr, by any means. You must know that."

Edited 2012-04-20 01:05 (UTC)

His head snaps up at her words, because of course she had to take that entirely wrong. X(

"Of course you didn't," he says, rather harshly. She better not have, at least. "I was simply remarking on the nature of people."

"And the gravity of death," she tacks on quietly. Having just experienced first-hand the harshness of mortality, she now fully understands how it can change a person's perspective. That said, she moves to meet his eyes, and her face softens significantly. Arguing with him is really the very last thing she wants right now.

Now he holds her gaze for an extended moment, obviously mulling over what to say to that. He settles on: "How are you feeling, by the way?"

"It's an intimidating concept to come to terms with. I'm not sure the shock has quite worn off. The physical discomfort is tolerable, however, especially given what I remember enduring." Her hand subconsciously moves to her face as she feels for the cut no longer there. "But I suppose I should have expected as much."

And in that moment he gets that she remembers all of it and his face falls just the slightest bit. With his usual skill at segueways, he says very bluntly:

"They're all dead."

She just stares at him for a moment, caught between feeling quite satisfied with this announcement and then guilty for thinking that way. However, given the circumstances, she gives in to the gratification, and her face hardens a bit as she nods.

"They deserved the worst." Her tone becomes much gentler as she ventures to ask, "Were you the one who found me?"

Christos has to fight to keep the truth out of his eyes, the horror that surrounds the memory of that moment, but it's the last thing she needs to see reflected back at her right now.

"... Katniss and I."

"Katniss as well?" Her voice is strained and heavy with regret, her heart breaking for the scene the girl had stumbled upon. "Is she alright? Are you - " She cuts off, remembering how adverse he is to the concerned sentiment. Instead, she just fixes him with a troubled frown.

He quickly cuts in anyways, to stop her from finishing that question. "She took it rather hard, but she'll be glad to hear you've recovered." He hesitates, obviously wondering what more to tell her about that day, before he decides to jump ahead. "The humans agreed to negotiate after all." A snort. "It seems it took this much to make them realize they were in over their heads."

Now she has to fight the terrifying flash of memory from that night, and she closes her eyes briefly in an attempt to combat the disgust. However, by the way she tenses, and the change in her face, it's obvious the statement has sparked something.

She takes a deep breath, opening her eyes to look down at her hands. "I doubt many of them could have conceived of such carnage."

"They didn't understand the nature of the Spider's society," he says, with evident scorn. "Just like children, playing with something they couldn't possibly comprehend."

"Of course, it's not as if they sought this out." She's not arguing with him though, simply making a statement. "At least now the situation can be dealt with more effectively."

She looks back up at him after a second of contemplation and asks hesitantly, "Do you think my actions were foolish?"

How is he even supposed to answer this.

Oh, wait, probably "no" but that's way too straightforward and kind of him, so of course he has to say something else entirely, no matter what he means.

"You should have contacted someone. Backup. Weren't Ethan and Arthur meant to be protecting you?"

She stares at him for a couple seconds, her face unchanging. Perhaps she was just expecting such a response. It could have been worse.

"And how do you think they would have fared against that kind of enemy? There wasn't enough time to call for backup. It all happened very quickly, a matter of seconds, really. You weren't there. You didn't see..." She trails off, shaking her head and looking away.

"I could have most likely gotten away, if I'd stayed hidden. Or I could have called for backup and waited, and it would have to been too late to save anyone. I just didn't think I could live myself if I did nothing." Her voice is not as emotional as she expected it to be, but she still strains to get out the last few words.

Thanks to the emotional turmoil that confession stirs up in him, he's prompted to say something he hadn't meant to, the words spilling out like lava boiling over. "I was there. I saw all of it."

Her head snaps back in his direction, her guilt and heartbreak evident on her face. She feels like she just got the wind knocked out of her and it takes her a few seconds to do anything but gape at him.

"I don't understand." She very clearly remembers him not being there, after all. "What do you mean 'you were there'?"

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject