orientation ♔ i don't remember one jump or one leap

[technophobic]

♬ Reasons Why - Nickel Creek

WHO || Lan (??), Spike, open if people want to bang into them, just threadjack wherever.
WHAT || Lan doesn't do things the easy way.
WHERE || Behind Knight's HQ, in the woods
WHEN || Sunday evening
HOW || Actionspam

[All Spike's gotten so far in regards to learning who he's squired to is that his name is Sir Lan Wellington, and that he doesn't, in fact, live in the castle. Instead he lives way out on the back property. In the woods. o___o

Good luck finding the cabin though, because there is no path.]

Optional Rolls:

† Roll a d20. A roll of a 15 or above means he runs across a cabin out there. Anything lower and hooray, wandering around the woods. 8| ... A one or two results in being hopelessly lost.

Comments

omg i need icons for him 8(

[technophobic]

[The horse stops, and between its height and the man's, they tower over Spike. He looks down at the vampire with a mixture of suspicion and contempt on his face as the horse paws the ground, obviously uncomfortable.]

I'll ask the questions. [His voice booms like he thinks he's Thor Odinson] What is your business in these woods?

You dooooo

[bigbad]

[Everyone towers over Spike, okay, he's used to it. And if he's at all intimidated, he damn well isn't showing it. So he rolls his eyes like he's not impressed.]

Maybe I just felt like birdwatching. [In the... snow. There are snow birds? Whatever. He scowls up at the man on the horse.] I asked first, wanker. [They are off to the best start.]

NOW I DO

[technophobic]

[Instead of wasting time making bitchy faces, old guy just reaches to the sword at his waist and draws it, pointing it down towards Spike. Yep.]

You trespass in my woods, boy.

(GYAY)

[bigbad]

[Oh this is definitely going towards a fight. Spike's fangs come out instinctively. Spike isn't even entirely aware of it, though his teeth feel a lot pointier for some reason. He lets out a low growl and reaches for his gun. Because let's face it, if it comes down to a fight between him and a guy with a sword on a horse? He wants the damn gun.]

Blame my bloody mentor, then. Lazy git won't come find me, guess I've got to go find him.

[technophobic]

[The old Knight's face contorts with anger at the sight, and the sound in his throat sounds practically like a growl:] Vampire.

[He holds the sword steadily, the horse still dancing a bit side to side] There's silver in this blade, fiend. I will not hesitate to chop your fool head off. [But then he seems to register what Spike just said, and his forehead furrows] Who sent ye?

[bigbad]

[Is silver a vampire weakness? Spike's not sure, but threats of decapitation definitely warrant a gun to the face. Spike aims it at Lan's head.]

Wynn sent me. And try it. I dare you.

[technophobic]

[That seems to give him pause. His hold on the sword doesn't slacken, but the anger on his face turns into something else] Wynn?


If this is his idea of a joke...

[bigbad]

[Spike doesn't lower his gun either, but he's beginning to think he might know what's happening here.] Don't tell me you're Sir Lanston Wellington. Because I really don't like you much at all.

[technophobic]

[SO UNIMPRESSED] Sir Lanston Charles Montgomery Wingates Wellington. [He lowers the sword finally, and shoves it back into the sheath with annoyance] You must be my squire.

[bigbad]

Lucky me. [Spike does not sound like he thinks he's lucky. Quite the opposite. He slowly lowers his gun as well, features returning to normal.] Sir Spike. [He doesn't have a gazillion names. Just the one.]

[technophobic]

You'll earn that Sir when you've worked for it. Foolish business, giving out titles before anyone's done a thing.

[bigbad]

And here I thought I earned it when I went through that whole ceremony thing.

[technophobic]

[He scoffs] Any man can take a knee and squawk an oath like a bird. It's living up to that oath that proves ones worth.

[bigbad]

So how many lectures does living up to the code involve? Because I've got far better things to do with my time.

[technophobic]

Depends on how many y'need.

[He pulls on the horse's reins a bit] A vampire. [He clucks his tongue, saying the word to himself and shaking his head.] Don't dawdle now. [And he wheels the horse around, heading between two big trees]

[bigbad]

Ponce. [He scowls over at the man, but luckily Spike's pretty fast. Not in the obnoxious blurry way, in the there when you turn around way. It's enough to more or less keep pace.]

[technophobic]

[Lan leads the way through the nonexistent path, saying nothing, but sometimes the body of the horse pushes branches aside that THWAP backwards towards where Spike is. Keep those Dex checks handy.

Finally, they emerge at a fenced enclosure - a little pasture and stable, behind which a log cabin sits, smoke pouring from the chimney.]

[bigbad]

[Luckily, my roll was awesome, so Spike uses his vampire dexterity to avoid being thwacked.]

Bit quaint, innit?

[technophobic]

It has everything I require. [He dismounts from Daisy, opening the fence and leading her in. She's all too happy to get away from the vampire :| When he's done, he closes the gate once more, pushing on it to make certain it locks before turning to Spike again.] Luxury distracts from duty.

[bigbad]

[Spike likes luxuries. And he's fairly sure he can do his duties well enough even with them. He follows Lan through the fence, arms crossed uncomfortably. Speaking of duties...]

Does it have running water and all that? Or do you rely on streams and outhouses?

[technophobic]

I rather think your mouth does enough running.

[bigbad]

[A completely unashamed shrug.] You threatened to cut my head off. Doesn't exactly make me want to hold my tongue.

[technophobic]

You'll learn to if you'd like to keep it. [Annnnd he moves to the door of the shack, kicking a piece of wood aside]

[bigbad]

See? More threats. I don't like being threatened. [Spike tries to follow him into the shack and... bounces off the barrier. AREN'T VAMPIRES FUN? Especially dumb ones who don't know the rules.]

[technophobic]

[See old grumpy man. See old grumpy man actually crack a smile as he looks over his shoulder from inside.]

Problems?

[bigbad]

[Spike looks confused for a moment before he figures it out, then he just scowls.]

Vampire. I need to be invited.

[technophobic]

An invitation's yet another thing that should be earned, not merely given. [Yep.] I have some firewood that could use chopping.

[bigbad]

[Spike gave him a disbelieving stare.] You're bloody kidding me.

[technophobic]

What have I done to give you any indication that I'm a man with a sense of humor? [It's so gruffly and straight faced that it's impossible to tell if he is being serious or not.]

[bigbad]

So you're really not going to... that's... [He scowls and glowers up at him, banging a fist against the invisible barrier.] Racism or something.

[technophobic]

An unfortunate fact of life in this world. You'd do well to learn that lesson quickly.

[bigbad]

And you call that teaching? Funny how to me it just sounds like being a dick. Are you even planning on letting me in after I do that or do you have more menial chores for me to do?

[technophobic]

I imagine that depends on how well you do this one.

[bigbad]

[Spike glares at him, crossing his arms.] I'm not jumping through hoops for you.

[technophobic]

Of course not.

I haven't got any hoops.

[bigbad]

Metaphoric hoops, git. You can chop your own bloody wood.

[technophobic]

And you can explain to Wynn why I failed to approve you for full Knighthood.

[bigbad]

Happy to. I'll tell him you wouldn't let me into your bloody home or teach me anything. [He shook his head.] I want to be a knight, but not that badly. If you're not going to teach me, I'm leaving.

[technophobic]

Then ye don't want it badly enough. A Knight doesn't give in when things don't go his way, and he doesn't piss and moan when someone asks him for his help, either. You think it's all slaying monsters and shiny swords, is that it?

[bigbad]

[...Spike had thought the monster slaying was a big part, anyway. But he doesn't admit to that. He just scowls.]

You never asked for my help.

[technophobic]

And you haven't asked me any questions yet, so don't complain that I haven't taught you anything.

[bigbad]

Fine, question. Can I come in?

[technophobic]

Once you've helped chop some wood.

[bigbad]

[Spike wants to continue to refuse. It's a matter of pride at this point, and he doesn't want to do a damn thing to help this guy.

But. He is here to learn. And it's not the task that he's objecting to anyway. He's strong. He can chop plenty of wood without breaking a sweat. If vampires even sweat. He should look into that.

He bites back his bitterness. He's got a limit to what he'll take before he storms off, but he'll chop the bloody wood. This time.]

Fine.