wedding ♔ so let in the morning light and let the darkness fade away

[luthir]

♬ from this moment on- shania twain ft. bryan white

WHO || Vi, Luthir, Wynn, Jack, Myri, Finnick, Francesca, Val'drin, Spike, Dumage, Felicity, Gus, Astrid, Fred Jr., Kat, Gar, Buffy, Rafael, Elena, Alaric, Rose, Dimitri, Aedan, Dovan, Lan, Zero, Koraith, Mark, Dawn, Archer, Des, Zarad, Alex, Faith, Faye, Sean, Anastacia [closed]
WHAT || Vi and Luthir's wedding
WHERE || Chelsea Physic Garden, London
WHEN || June 6th, evening
HOW || Actionspam

Now officially Knighted, Vi exchanges her ceremonial armor for a wedding gown, and the guests head into London to gather at the Chelsea Physic Garden.  The evening is warm and clear, and the flowers in full bloom, chairs set up on the main lawn with name tags on them for people to find their seat.  Gentle Elvish music plays everyone in, and at the front of stands an arbor covered in wisteria.  It's a remarkably peaceful setting, enough to dispel further some of the grimness of the past few days and create an atmosphere of smiles and warmth.    It seems to reinforce what Luthir has been telling Vi all along: that maybe now more than ever, this is the sort of thing they need, in order to remember what they're all fighting for.

Comments

[graveflowers]

Can it be? For tonight at least? I didn't mean to start a fight today. [ in an awful turn of events, this is what makes her outright cry, those tears she tried so hard to contain tumbling down her cheeks. she didn't want to ruin their wedding. ] I'm sorry.

[luthir]

[ his finger wipes gently at her tears, and then he pulls her into a tight embrace. but he says quietly: ] ... Wynn's asked us to go tomorrow. I had asked him if it could wait, until after the ceremony, and he agreed to that much. It's what they're waiting on, to respond to the Andres situation.

[graveflowers]

That's our honeymoon? [ she chokes out a sob, shaking her head against him. it wasn't fair. now she had to think about thomas in regards to this, too. she thought she had more time. ]

[luthir]

We have tonight. All to ourselves. [ #smallcomfort ]

[graveflowers]

[ all to themselves... and her nightmares. yay. it takes her a second to compose herself, badly, but she does it enough to make words instead of shaky hiccups. ] Can we go somewhere... not right here? I mean, right now. Not in general. Like a tree. I want to climb a tree and hide, am I allowed to do that?

[luthir]

You're the bride. We can do anything you choose.

[graveflowers]

Come on, we're hiding in a tree for a while even if I have to grow it. [ or a bench behind a bush works too. she just doesn't want to talk to people. ]

[luthir]

I think there are several to choose from, actually. [ he takes her hand and pulls her away from the floor. ] Although yours would certainly be the best.

[graveflowers]

That's because I'm a super special snowflake. [ such complete lack of energy in her words now. she needs 47 naps. but she follows him and the second her bare feet touch the grass she sighs a little, this time not unhappily. and because she's bad at keeping things from him, she elaborates on her dream as they walk. ] He told me that it's not the nightmares killing me, it's... me. I think he thought I would be surprised.

[luthir]

The dreams have always been manifestations of things you were always afraid of, haven't they?

[graveflowers]

Yeah, my complete and utter inability to protect the people I care about. [ ahem, like him. him, putting himself in stupid danger. but she shrugs and let's herself babble like it will rid her of the weird anxious feeling in her chest. ] That's why I get to keep watching Jade die. Kids from the Legion. So many kids from the Legion. Guys from the army. People I don't even remember. And then Jade, laying there. I've seen it so many times I can still feel the blood when I wake up, like it's still on my hands. I don't remember washing it off though. I think someone at the police station must have.

[luthir]

[ he reaches over to take her hand in his, rubbing his thumb across it as if to point out that there's no blood there now. ] Violet. [ you know shit is serious, when he uses her dreaded full name. ] Do you hold your friends responsible for Jade's death?

[graveflowers]

[ should have put that in the vows tbh, only nicknames allowed. but she frowns and shakes her head. ] No, of course not. I blame Roger James.

[luthir]

Yet some of them have struggled with the guilt of feeling as if it were their own fault, have they not?

[graveflowers]

Yeah? [ she is too dumb to see where this is going. dumbass. ]

[luthir]

What would you tell them, were they to admit to still holding fast to that guilt even now?

[graveflowers]

[ oh. now she gets it. and a deep frown dulls her expression. ] That's not the same. They can move on, they have moved on, as they should. I'm stuck reliving it over and over again. I can't move on because I wake up everyday like it just happened, like she just died. Death is part of who I am, but I've always been able to accept it and move on because I know it's an inevitable part of life. You know that, that's why I fought so hard against you telling me I was going to live for so long. But I can't accept Jade, I can't move on, because it's always just happened. I'm not allowed to grieve.

[luthir]

Grief is different than what you are expressing, what I fear the Nightmare Lord is doing to you every night in these dreams.

You're reliving those deaths that you felt were somehow a failing on your part. It isn't merely about losing someone you care about - it's about feeling defeated by your own helplessness.

And now Blade tells you that you are helpless in a different way - he undermines the hope we have, the promise we've made to each other to fight, makes it seem as if there is no hope, only more loss, and that you will have no one to blame but yourself.

The same tactics as this Nightmare god whose bidding he does. To me, that signals that we are on the cusp of breaking free of his influence, that they are growing desperate. But the only weapon they have is hopelessness, my love. And I gave you my word that I would not let you fall into despair.

[graveflowers]

[ she listens quietly, but she's in no shape to fully take in his words. she knows he's right, knows that's exactly what's happening, why she's killing herself, her soul tearing itself apart, pulling at itself like playdoh spread too thin. ]

I can't... [ her voice breaks with that despair he's trying to rescue her from. ] I can't fall asleep and see you there. I wouldn't survive that.

[luthir]

If I failed, if we failed, and my life were forfeit, the nightmares would claim your life regardless.

[ he raises one palm to her cheek ] I know you cannot see this anymore, that each day your vision has been clouded more and more by this encroaching dark, so I ask that you trust in me to see the path ahead of us.

I will not let you stumble in this darkness.

[graveflowers]

[ looking up at him, she tries to find that hope and trust, but it's just so... hard. everything is impossible and she's going to break his heart.

when she answers, it's not with that faith in mind, it's exhaustion and a desperate need to not be talking about this anymore. ] You keep rescuing me.

[luthir]

Grant me this one thing and next time, you can rescue me.

[graveflowers]

[ she looks down. ] I said yes.

[luthir]

[ his hand stills on her cheek ] You--

You what?

[graveflowers]

I'm sorry. [ the anxiety squeezing her chest gets tighter, like her heart is in it's death throes, and she squeezes her eyes shut again. there's no mistaking the regret and shame and relief in her voice. she just wants everything to stop. ] He said, he said someone would die, their blood would be on my hands and I knew, I knew what he was doing, but the nightmares were never going to stop and I just want to sleep, I want to feel happy again, I can't even remember what it's like. I want to stop feeling like a balloon set adrift, air slipping out until it's just some wrinkled piece of plastic in the trash. I can't live like this any longer, it's too much. So, so, I told. [ she chokes on a sob trying to rips it's way out of her chest. ] I told him to come back in a month and I'd do it. God, I'm so sorry, Luthir, I'm so sorry. [ her apologies trail off into quiet weeping, more apologies mingling as her shoulders shake and tremble. ]