debriefing ♔ in the emptiness there's a solution | just look within yourself for absolution

[nepotism]

♬ locking up the sun- poets of the fall

WHO || Wynn, Buffy, Myri, Finnick, Spike, Gar, Archer, Des, Vi, Rafael, Fred Jr., Dumage, Mark, Rocket, open! [Closed]
WHAT || Andres Mission Debrief & Aftermath
WHERE || Knights HQ, lobby etc.
WHEN || September 18th [forward dated*]
HOW || Actionspam. Single thread, don't worry about maintaining tagging order.

There are plenty of missions that return to the castle a success - most of them, even. The defeated air of the solemn group that returns from their diplomatic mission to Andres Isle to hear the demands of dictator Dimitris Sarandis makes it quite clear that this wasn't one of those.

Starting with Sarandis' actual demands - for all Knights to withdraw from Andres under penalty of death, or for Wynn to offer his own head in return for Thomas' safe return - and ending with the unexpected, disturbing confession from Kat that she intended to stay behind on the island because she had "fallen in love with" the dictator, the events of the island made it very clear that Sarandis was cannily playing his hand to get the Knights where he wanted them.

Fred Jr. shoves open the doors with his unnatural strength, stalking in ahead of the group into the lobby. Whoever's on desk duty isn't going to have to roll a high wisdom check to see that these people are pissed... and distraught... and a myriad of other emotions on the bad end of the scale.

*I am changing the date of the briefing log and Andres log/live session to have taken place in September, to avoid us being in backdated hell forever, and to allow for a September squiring ceremony before apps are closed. Carry on... in the future!

Comments

[pathology]

[IT'S A RACCOON. SHE DROPS THE SCALPEL AND RUNS OVER TO GET A BETTER LOOK.]

Oh my god!! YOU'RE SO CUTE!!

[beatupgrass]

[NO PICK THE SCALPEL BACK UP. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PICK THE SCALPEL BACK UP. HE CAN DEAL WITH VIOLENCE. BUT NOT HIS DIGNITY.

aka he is fixing her with the most long-suffering and aggrieved look a raccoon face can manage.]

Thanks. [He disentangles himself from the mess and tries to look like he has... 12% of his pride left.] 'Cause the thing I wanna be known for is how cute I am. That's gonna get me taken seriously in the business.

[Because he is having such good luck with that right now- see: Andres. He doesn't wanna talk about that.]

[pathology]

What business? The pain med stealing business? Oh my god, are you the one who took all the vicodin last week? I had menstrual cramps, you dick!

[beatupgrass]

[WHY WOULD HE NEED TO KNOW THAT. IN WHAT WORLD IS THAT A THING HE NEEDS TO KNOW??

aka awkward staring. And then finally:]

That'd be a feat, considering I wasn't here last week. [Wow what is it with humans (humanoids???) and pain tolerance. Jesus. Rub some dirt in it or something.] I came in with that band of maniacs who got sent to Andres.

[Failboat is weird, Astrid. He's been in the trenches. He's seen some shit. Also ignoring your question.]

[pathology]

Do you need a physical? I'm not a vet, but ... [but i wanna cradle ur little raccoon body and give you pets :D :D :D ]

[beatupgrass]

[She might as well have said "do you need to be dropkicked out a window" with the amount of full body recoil and glowering he does at the very idea. Like how about HELL NO???]

I think what I need is a few good years of no one puttin' their hands on me, if it's all the same to you, lady.

[no touchie. X(]

[pathology]

[OMG FINE SHE'LL BE DIRECT IN HER NEEDS.] ... Can I pet you? [ she tries to sweeten up the offer with ... diplomacy 4. sounds about right. oh astrid.]

[beatupgrass]

[Rocket looks at her like she is fifty shades of stupid, because DIDN'T HE JUST SAY HE DOESN'T WANNA BE TOUCHED. WHAT PART OF "NO TOUCHIE" WAS HARD TO- oh fuck it. She did ask, which is more than he can say for 90% of the people who see him and get all grabby.

He steps forward and crosses his arms over his chest. HE'LL DO IT, BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE TO LOOK LIKE IT'S SOMETHING HE WILL ENJOY.]

Fine. Get it outta your system.

[pathology]

Yay!! [she crouches down and pets his head, scratching behind his ears.] You never told me about your business. Is it the murder business? Are you Iggy Azalea?

[beatupgrass]

[Resigned sighing to hide the fact that it's kinda nice??? Who doesn't love ear scritches!! No, but he's totally a proud sapient being and after an acceptable amount of time has passed, he flails a hand. Like a cat that wants you to STOP TOUCHING IT BECAUSE IT'S DONE WITH YOUR TOUCHING, PEASANT.] Do I look like some dippy blonde broad to you? [He got a fucking 22 on that pop culture check. Apparently, Andres is just really into pop music. I would consider Fancy on a loop to be torture too, Rocket. It's okay.]

I'm a bounty hunter. [And a Guardian of the Galaxy, but hahahaha they don't cover the galaxy beyond the Veil, okay.]

[pathology]

[OH FINE. she pulls her hand back. you're a poop, rocket.] Cool! I used to be a master thief assistant but now I'm mostly a medic.

[beatupgrass]

[WOW ASTRID. WOULD YOU BE OKAY WITH SOME STRANGE PERSON PETTING YOUR HEAD FOR AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TI- maybe. We just don't know.]

Master thief assistant. [Look at that skeptical face.] Didn't they use to call that a sidekick.

[Yeah, there's no judgment from the BOUNTY HUNTING RACCOON. Just wow girl. Call it what it is.]

[pathology]

[um. she's a ginger. people ask her if they can touch her hair all the time. she knows. which you would think would make her more sensitive to his plight, but LOL no.]

Shut up, fuzzball. What are you looking for in the light wing? Maybe I can help. Because the last thing I want before I go out for oral and Starbucks is this place looking like a talking raccoon trashed it.

[beatupgrass]

[There are so many things wrong with the words you just used.]

I'm not- [A RACCOON?? AN ANIMAL WITH NO ABILITY TO MAKE A PLACE LOOK PRISTINE AFTER HE ROBS IT BLIND?? INTERESTED IN YOUR SEX LIFE???

You'll never know, because apparently that sentence had so many multiple choice answers, he just gives up and runs his paws over his ears like 'oh my goood.']

I'm just preparin' for the worst. Things are gonna get pretty freakin' bad on that island and I gotta be prepared to watch my own back.

[Because aside from Drax, he's pretty sure he's not registering as precious cargo to anyone else. Not that he blames them for that any, but thrilling heroics for the sake of being a good guy don't keep you alive. Not that... that's guaranteed anyway. GDI why did he ever decide to develop scruples. They're itchy.]

[pathology]

No shit, that's why I was stocking my medkit. You want one? I'll get it for you if you help me find my condom basket.

[beatupgrass]

[a beat.]

Your what basket?

[No, he totally heard her. He just needs her to say it again.]

[pathology]

[ZERO SHAME OK] My condom basket. It's this big [she gestures with her hands], full of condoms? I'm gonna take it to the front desk. Since, you know, night before war, everyone's fucking like rabbits, right? There's already one baby around here, which as far as I'm concerned is one baby too many. [babies r gross.] Not to mention STDs.

[beatupgrass]

ykw i'm leaving the gif there

[beatupgrass]

They actually let these people breed?

[Yeah.

That's all he's got. But seriously, celestial jesus take the fucking wheel, that is a terrible idea. But fine. He will help you find your damn condom basket for the sake of population control and also maybe shutting you up.

With his search of 29.

So I guess he finds it. Unless it's in Siberia or something.]

[pathology]

I think she actually came to the Knights like nine months pregnant [she was at the wedding!!] but ... hey, I agree with you, buddy. Do you know what shoving a baby out does to a vagina? Do you?

[he's lucky he'll never get to know (at least ... for today) because he found the condom basket. it was in fact just in a cabinet or something i guess.] Oh yay!! You're the best. [SHE WILL TAKE THAT THANKS.]

[beatupgrass]

[NO, HE DOES NOT SPEND HIS LIFE THINKING ABOUT HUMANS AND THEIR REPRODUCTIVE HABITS.

But thank god for the condom basket that he shoves at her with a faint look of disgust before she takes it.]

I've had less disturbing conversations than this in prison.

[pathology]

[she's grabbing him a standard medkit — about the size of a large tackle box — when her eyes go wide at the words prison.]

You went to prison?! Why?

[beatupgrass]

[Yes. Good. He can definitely carry that in his pockets.]

People get very tetchy about things like theft, mercenary activity [eyeroll], and arson.

[pathology]

[GET A BACKPACK. also, there are practically anime sparkles in her eyes.] Arson? Ooo, what did you burn down?

[beatupgrass]

[THAT'S WHERE HE KEEPS HIS GUN.]

Nothin' major. [Like he's just s-so offended by his own rap sheet. That no longer exists.] You blow up a few things and... other things catch fire. Shit happens.