knightsoflegend | CHAPTER FOUR ♔ does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love

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CHAPTER FOUR ♔ does it run in your blood to betray the ones you love

WHO || Failboat, Rafael, Isabella, Nadia [Closed]
WHAT || After an exciting Grammy night, the Knights meet up with Nadia to hear what she has to say
WHERE || Staples Center, LA --> Warehouse
WHEN || Feb 8th, 2015 [back dated]
HOW || Actionspam

[ The Knights' mission to stop the signal and prevent Draken's cult from spreading whatever subliminal message was lurking beneath Keijen Blade's performance was a success. It didn't come without its bumps in the road, however: Alexander Anderson showed up, and the Knights ran afoul of the Mind Master. Buffy nearly died fighting Anderson, but in the end, he was defeated, beheaded, and hopefully put to death forever. Finnick, though, found himself thrust into a mental illusion that convinced him he might still be in the Hunger Games, and left him uncertain about whether any of his life here was real.

Another surprise came in the form of an announcement by Nadia Reichenov, an artist working with Crombe and company, that she was changing her band name and taking things in a 'new direction'. This direction was perhaps revealed when after her performance, she approached the Knights in Rafael's dressing room - and handed them the necklace that connects her to the Nightmare God Malaak'a, saying she was willing to tell them everything. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I agree. [ it's quick, decisive. ] I imagine Rafael has somewhere else he can stay until she leaves tonight?

I think so.

[ A self-disparaging sort of nod comes next, like she's catching up with the fact that it's obvious. ]

I mean, yeah. He must.

[ She reaches up to wipe her hands over her cheeks, shaking it off. Her face is getting red and blotchy again and she hates it and she doesn't want to get like this but she can't shrug this off. She shakes her hands out, but the tremor won't stop. ]

I just ... I just figured you needed to know. Don't — Don't tell anyone else, okay? He doesn't need that, but you ... [ She trusts. Or, more importantly, the end of that sentence might be 'are mission leader.' ]

I won't betray his confidence - or yours - particularly on such a sensitive matter. [ it's a solemn promise, and he reaches out to squeeze her shoulder ] You have my word.

[ She nods vigorously, looking up at him intently, the naive and hero-worshipping faith that she puts in him shining through in her eyes. It crumbles soon enough, now that she has the debrief out of the way, and all attempts to compose herself appear to have been wasted as she deteriorates to admitting her own sense of failure, ] I really screwed up, Jack.

We're all allowed our mistakes, Buffy. They're the only way we learn anything about ourselves - provided we're willing to admit them and change. [ maybe it's not as comforting as trying to assure her that she didn't do anything wrong, but he doesn't really fly that way, particularly when he doesn't have all the details. ] Whatever's been done is in the past, and there's no changing that.

But the future is another matter.

[ Again, she nods along with his assurances, and a rough laugh makes its way out of her throat after a moment's silence once he's done. He's so stuffy and zen and you know what? Not that the pep talk isn't helping, but he's going to give her a hug. Buffy steps forward to slip her arms around his ribcage, settling her chin on his shoulder and sniffling super attractively. If he's too British to give hugs for comfort, she's jut going to take one for herself. For a moment, that seems to be all he gets, but then— ] I'm glad you didn't stay fired.

[ he relaxes into the hug as if he's not even british ok. he just didn't want to take ... HUG LIBERTIES????? her words bring a dry chuckle to his lips as he squeezes her back warmly. ] Then that makes two of us.

[ Well this has been a Moment. Buffy takes a bit to compose herself, then draws out of the hug, straightening her back and nodding to him like yep thanks for that good now. And to stave off any of her projected awkwardness, she dives in with a question to throw the conversation away from herself. ]

Speaking of things that got you fired … [ Because she hasn't given him a hard time about it yet. ] I hear you're engaged.

A bright spot on a rather dark horizon, at the moment, yes. [ despite the somber words, the smile that touches his lips makes it clear just how much hope that bright spot grants him. ] More than worth the risk.

Something to fight for.

[ She says it like an agreement. ]

I'm really happy for you.

[ Clapping a hand on his upper arm, she gives it an affirming squeeze. ]

I certainly appreciate the support. [ there's something in his smile that's rather knowing, as if there's another layer of meaning there. DOES HE KNOW WHAT YOU SAID TO WYNN, maybe we just don't know. he gestures with his head back towards the doors. ] Shall we?

I'm all—

[ Her nose crinkles as she gestures to her face. ]

Splotchy, and … [ She shakes her head then. ] You go. I'll catch up in a couple minutes.

As you wish. [ he gives her another pat on the shoulder and a little smile, and then heads back inside ]

[ Up until he heads inside, Buffy wears a warm but thin smile on her lips, and she traces his movements. When the door shuts, she turns away again, eyes skimming over the cityscape with deep-rooted restlessness.

She lingers in the cool night air, awash in silence, waiting for the itch in the back of her neck telling her to suspect further trouble to finally wear off. The tension in her shoulders speaks to an inability to bring herself entirely off-edge, like she can't let go of the anticipation of another fight. ]

[ the door opens quietly after a short, and rafael steps out beside her, shutting it fully before he walks up to the railing, curving one hand around the bar and looking out for a moment before he speaks up, shoving the other hand in his jacket pocket. ] Do you mind the company? [ if it feels like a loaded question it's probably cuz it is ]

Well, I could say this town isn't big enough for the both of us, but then there'd be a shoot out and I wouldnt stand a chance.

[ There is a smile on her voice, but she doesn't turn to face him immediately. A beat passes before she adds, ] Stay. [ She turns her head to look at him then. ] How is she?

She-- [ a beat ] I do not know. Things did not go as I thought they would. [ he still sounds surprised, like he's trying to sort of what happened and how to feel about it ] I knew she must be angry when she learned there was something about... Nadia that I had kept from her. I thought it best to speak to her immediately about it when I had the chance. [ he grimaces at the thought, as that's clearly not a conversation he ever wanted to rehash ] Instead, she--

[ The nod says she is both surprised and understanding of him opening with that. And a little bit sympathy because she had certainly expected anger as well--hence her readiness to clear the room. But she looks up, curious when it sounds like that's not the case. ] Hurt? [ A guess, but an educated one bit was her gut reaction too. ]

[ he shakes his head, pulling his hand out of his pocket and staring down at his fist ] Instead, she told me she had something to say to me.

[ he unfurls his fingers, revealing a woman's engagement ring. ] She gave me this.

[ Confusion etches into Buffy's expression as she stares down at the ring. ]

She ended it?

[ he looks over at her finally, weighing what to say and what he should leave out. ] ... Si.

She said-- [ another beat of hesitation, but he doesn't look away, watches her reaction ] that she said yes because she had hoped that I could truly give her my heart. But that she knew now that this was not so.

[ his hand closes around the ring again, bobbing a bit as if feeling the weight of it ] And that she could not go on telling herself that it would be enough.

[ The sentiment is familiar. Her gaze breaks and she looks down, all reluctant sympathy. It hurts to wonder if Isabella recognized something Buffy doesn't think she can. But she believes, now more than ever, that there is a chance for them. She brought Nadia to his bed, and had it not been for her icing him out, it may not have worked at all. ]

I'm glad. Not that her heart was broken, obviously. But that she made the choice for herself and knew to step back from what wouldn't be enough. [ Honestly, she's impressed. In the worst of ways. ] But just because she didn't believe you could for her, that doesn't mean-- Maybe not for her, but what you said at the warehouse. Rafael, falling for Nadia's trick doesn't mean you can't love again.

[ ♬ your eyes - alexz johnson

his eyes drop at the pronouncement, uncertainty in the twist of his lip ] Even if it does not, the question is whether it means I should not. Whether my instincts will only ever lead me to hurt the one I love the most. [ he flinches at the thought, clearly haunted by the idea ] Sometimes I wonder if this is the price of the darkness I have invited into my life. If it has left me with a heart that will only ever have sharpened edges, harming those who draw too near.

I had come to think that what was best for both of us was not to allow you to feel the sting of it yourself.

But it is already too late for this. And instead of protecting you, I have done what?

Hurt us both, and Bella too. [ he shakes his head ] Turned away from the light you had brought to my life. Failed to be there for you when you might have needed me. I told myself it was the best way to protect you, that it was what you wished for that had caused you to turn away.

But, carina... there is a part of me that cannot see the point of living in safety, when it means one must also live in darkness.

[ he turns his eyes heavenward, searching the sky futilely ] Is this selfish of me? Foolish?

[ Listening to him, Buffy softens sympathetically, sorrow in her eyes. He isn't the only one feeling the guilty weight of failing to protect the person he loved because he pulled back when she needed him: she did the same to him. He was only in danger because of her in the first place, and she had abandoned him to dwell on her own pain, leaving him to imagine the worst.

In the face of all he's told her, it's impossible not to feel responsible both for what Nadia had done and that she succeeded. Since she let him go, she has been mired in darkness, the same darkness he claims to want to turn away from. Now, she can only wonder if it was her darkness that did this to him--that kept her away and injured him with its sharpened edges.

Maybe it is selfish. But not as selfish as she had been in leaving him to deal with it alone. She reaches out, covering his hand with hers and catches his gaze intently. ]

No. No, of course not. But ... [ Guilt burns in her eyes and she has to drop her gaze briefly. ] Rafael, Isabella is right. About all of it. I brought this darkness into your life when you were trying to leave it behind you. This happened to you because of me.

And when I should have been beside you, protecting you from it, I ... [ She shakes her head, turning out to look at the city and squeezing his hand. ] I was too afraid. To face you, to face what I'd done. I wasn't ready. Instead of being there for you, I let that fear win, and now ... I won't let you blame yourself for this.

Edited 2015-04-16 01:42 (UTC)

So you would blame yourself instead? [ his hand is warm in hers, returning the pressure firmly, his thumb brushing over the back of her own ] You are not responsible for the things she was sent to do, or for the choices I have made. It is not protection I need, Buffy, any more than you do.

[ his other hand lifts to very lightly brush at her jaw, trying to direct her attention back to his intent gaze ] It is the strength that I seem to find in myself when you are near. The belief you have professed to me time and again that I have more to give this world than darkness - that belief saved me when I was almost lost to myself completely.

No one has ever placed such faith in me. I am still not certain what I did to deserve it.

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