party ♔ got a black card that let saks have it, these chanel bags is a bad habit

[bittersweeter]

[ ♪ feelin' myself -- nicki minaj & beyoncé ]

WHO || Astrid Mädchen & loads of people
WHAT || Astrid's 23rd Birthday Party
WHERE || Some empty bar in the castle.
WHEN || October 29, 2014; 8pm [backdated]
HOW || Actionspam

Lila had basically commandeered Astrid's birthday months ago, all but demanding that Astrid let her plan her party while... it was still Faye's birthday. By the time she is done decorating, it looks like Pintrest collided with Queen Regina and puked black and white Halloween drama all over the room. Glittery skulls, blood red candy apples, candles flickering in black lacquered candelabras. Is that raven real? Probably. Is that skeleton real?

Maybe. Y'all don't know what tricks this girl can do. Maybe Slenderman will show up.

The lights are dim and there is an entire table stacked with cupcakes and cookies and other assorted nibbles and hor d'oeuvres, shoved up against the bar where bottles of every kind of alcohol imaginable are just spread out willy nilly amongst mixers and juices. Bet your ass there is Fireball around. There's soda and punch for the teetotalers, but with far less variety than the liquor. There are even party favor bags for the end of the night stuffed with nips of peach schnapps, Jagermeister, and cranberry juice (the recipe for a red headed slut) and various jewels and baubles, plastic Starbucks cups, hella neon nail polish. And condoms. They are all jammed with condoms.

Invitations aren't sent so much as Lila and Astrid invite every single person they know and don't loathe. Costumes are a requirement, but presents are just highly encouraged. But it's Astrid's birthday, okay? Presents are a must.

And no one is allowed to dress like Jessica Rabbit on pain of... well, pain.

Comments

[pathology]

It's because of the cranberry juice, which isn't my favorite but I get what Lila was going for and it's adorable.

[beatupgrass]

She coulda just made a new drink and named it after you. Now there's a gesture... So long as it ain't got any of that fey wine crap.

[Rocket's just pissed because he can't hold fey wine for shit.]

[pathology]

What would you put in a drink named after me?

[DANGER WILL ROBINSON]

[beatupgrass]

[Rocket doesn't know the names of earth liquor, because he never bothered. It was generally just "strongest one mixed with the second strongest" or whatever he was handed, so he squints at Astrid for a moment.]

Xandarian ale, that expensive red stuff they sell in seedy bars on Xarth Three that's illegal to import- that makes it this weird hot pink color. [he cants his head, squinting.] And then top it off with some of those edible flowers they grow on Spartax.

[he waves a lobster claw.] It's girly and it'll knock you on your ass.

[pathology]

[w/e, astrid seems appeased by this answer. so appeased that she ... squees and lurches over to hug him. her str roll was really low even for her tho so he is p much free to squirm away.] You're so thoughtful!!!

[beatupgrass]

[even with the negative i gave him for not being able to manage dexterity in a lobster suit, he rolled a 16 escape artist, so yeah, he wiggles away after a comfortable amount of hug time (five seconds)] Yeah, yeah. I'm a real prince.

[pathology]

You are. You're the best squire ever, Rocket. My new Louis Vuitton handbag is all thanks to you. [as in he probably helped her steal it i guess lmao.]

[beatupgrass]

I can't believe all that effort and you got was a freakin' handbag.

[Imagine his face when he used all those years of fucking with security systems going into breaking into some place, and then he realized it was a department store.]

[pathology]

I got some other stuff too!! [but it was like clothes and girly crap rocket wouldn't think was worth two shits so...]

[beatupgrass]

I'm just sayin', next time we hit up the army surplus store.

[i choose to believe astrid's "take it like a man" moment happened during that department store robbery.]

[pathology]

[that is 100% accurate.]

Ugh, really? What can you get in a surplus store that you can't get in the castle's armory?

[beatupgrass]

Stealin' it's like a good luck charm. I ain't never had a dud grenade I didn't pay money for, all right?

[pathology]

... Okay, fine. Only because I like you so much. And we're like, kindred spirits.

[beatupgrass]

And I'm sure there's somethin' about fosterin' good mentor-mentee relationships in there somewhere.

[once more, with more sarcasm, rocket.]

[pathology]

Um, obviously! That part's implied. [and then, abruptly as fuck] Do you like cats?

[beatupgrass]

[staaaares at her]

Why? D'you have one? [hahahaha.....]

[pathology]

No! Not ... yet?

[beatupgrass]

Y'know, there's a whole species out there that looks just like a Terran cat, 'cept they're evil, egg-layin' nasty bastards with freakin' pocket dimensions inside their cheeks. If you people knew how easy one could just infiltrate your homes just 'cause you thought it was a stupid cat, you'd never touch the things.

[pathology]

[she wrinkles her nose in preparation for disappointment.] So ... is that a no?

[beatupgrass]

I'm not gonna tell you not to get a cat, but if it lays eggs in your closet, don't bitch and moan at me when I have to shoot it.

[pathology]

You're so harshing my buzz right now, Rocket. Have you seen a displacer beast? That's what your spooky cats sound like.

[beatupgrass]

[lol his knowledge: arcane lore ranks are like nothing so he rolled a 13. It's probably not enough. Also NOT THE POINT.]

Flerken. They're called Flerken. Why d'you want a cat anyway?

[pathology]

Because they're cute? [that was ... pretty much the only reason. and mars talked her into it at some point.] I already had all these plans to make Youtube videos of you being friends with it. They'd go viral and I'd make a fortune.

[beatupgrass]

You're not puttin' me on YouTube.

[flat. deadpan.]

[pathology]

[ P O U T ] Why not?