procurer: fond, curious, serious, upset (089)

[personal profile] procurer 2016-04-22 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[ And that is why you are his bff here and Taradiddle is not. ]

You do it so well, too. [ He tugs a lock of her hair as he lets her cuddle close, casting her a crooked smile. ] Look, don't think for a second that you're any less badass than they are. I've seen you in leather and six inch heels, I'm completely convinced you are quite capable of asskicking whenever you set your mind to it.

And there's nothing wrong with not being in for one-night stands. It just means there's more to you than that. You deserve better, too. There's nothing wrong with a casual hookup here and there, but that doesn't mean it can't get old after a while. Or lonely.

[ He knows. He's been there, ]
morethanasidekick: (Pic 35)

[personal profile] morethanasidekick 2016-04-22 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Ummm... [She's going to be real here.] No. I am a lot of things, but badass isn't one of them. I'm the one that gets told to get out of the way so I either A. Don't get hurt or B. Don't accidentally hurt somebody else.

[So much friendly fire.]

My other B-F-F is a Succubus. I don't judge the one night stands. [She lifts her head, looking quite the sight given her current hangover. A hand motioning down her body like she was one of those models on a game show.] But you gotta work to get this and the kind of guys I attract? Last guy who flirted with me? Five minutes later I found him making out with a Cleric.
procurer: sass, curious, serious, upset (015)

[personal profile] procurer 2016-04-22 08:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Look, there are different types of asskickery, Kenz. [ He gives her a level look. ] I've seen you handle people. Hell, I've seen you handle me. Just because you don't do it with weapons or your fists doesn't mean you're just a damsel in distress here. You're capable, I just don't think you're very confident in yourself or what you can do.

The physical stuff? Not everyone gets that naturally, you know. Some people really have to work on it. A long time. You don't want to know how long it took me to learn how to shoot. I had terrible aim when I started. The target was safer if I was aiming at it.

[ The mention of her last encounter gets a protective frown from him as his arm tightens slightly about her. ] The ass. Want me to string him up for you?
morethanasidekick: (Pic 54)

[personal profile] morethanasidekick 2016-04-22 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[Between the life she'd led pre-veil and the one she had here? Kenzi might have had some issues with the whole, tiny, breakable human thing and she'd yet to encounter a mission here that needed her particular skill-set. She could break into just about anything and lie her way out of a paper bag but every time she's out in the field?]

Three stabbings, two shootings and one electrocution. [All said with a straight face.] The number of injuries inflicted by yours truly on other members of the Knights. [A beat.] Also, a six thousand dollar jacket but that's a whole other thing. Trust me. I got confidence in spades, it's just that people generally don't remember me for my mad skillz. [Yes. with a z.]

Naww. [A hand resting on his as if to reassure him.] Players gonna play. [She seems to just accept that it is what it is] Just, not with my lady bits.

[Brightening a little, as if to show him she's not bothered.]
procurer: sass, curious, serious, action, (003)

[personal profile] procurer 2016-04-22 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He blinks. Then blinks again, before choking back a laugh. ]

That's a hell of a lucky streak right there. Maybe you should start aiming at your teammates so you hit the bad guys next time.

[ Okay he really shouldn't laugh, but the mental images that came with that declaration had been priceless. ]

Did anyone ever teach you how to use knives and a gun? Or was it really just that bad luck? [ He's not even asking about the electrocution bit.

Still, he brushes a light kiss against the top of her head when she pats his hand, rubbing his hand soothingly against her arm. ]
Your lady bits deserve better too.

[ Which is almost hilarious, coming from him.

He gives her another squeeze. ]
How do you feel about some breakfast?
morethanasidekick: (Pic 51)

[personal profile] morethanasidekick 2016-04-22 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)
And knowing my luck! That'd be the one time I manage to hit my target! [The number of times that Kenzi crit fails her attacks is embarrassing though. Seriously.] And it's not funny! I mean... I laughed but that's different cause I did it.

Gun? Yes. Knives? I was... in the process of learning when all three stabbings and the jacket incident occurred. In my defense? One was a Vampire so it really shouldn't count and another? The cleric did more damage getting the knife out than I did putting it in.

[Wait for it Hawley. The cleric? Was T-Diddle.]

[She can't deny that she enjoys the comfort of his companionship and a little smile and low hum of contentment vibrates against her lips as he presses the kiss to the top of her head. Her eyes closing for the moment.]

Damn straight. They're the Gillette of lady bits after all. [Grinning and then cracking one eye open at the mere mention of breakfast.]

Waffles?
procurer: fond, sass, curious, (013)

[personal profile] procurer 2016-04-22 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The mention of Clerics and stabbings has his gaze narrowing. ]

This cleric wasn't a lawn gnome, was she? Short? Sarcastic? [ Scary as hell? ]

[ He gives a lock of her hair a playful tug in apology for laughing. ]

The Gillette of lady bits, huh? That's a damned high reputation to uphold there. Maybe you just intimidated them all.

[ He grins when she cracks an eye open at him. ] I think I can manage to muster up a few waffles.
morethanasidekick: (Pic 49)

[personal profile] morethanasidekick 2016-04-23 12:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[His answer comes in the widening of her eyes, the WTFukkery that's written all over her face.]

SEE! Not my bad then. Cleric bad! [Of course, she'd also blamed the knife at the time. Just liked she'd blamed the gun and the wand for the other incidents.]

That or they they've heard this and think I have a whole - vagina dentata thing going on. [Hawley. If you don't know, you don't want to know. Kenzi will make you watch it and there will be regrets.]

And syrup... lots of syrup.... Though I warn you if you throw in some bacon then I will come here for every hangover. You should know what you're signing up for.
procurer: sass, curious, serious, upset (017)

[personal profile] procurer 2016-04-23 12:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Cleric at least crazy. Do you know she stabbed me my first day here?

[ Hawley will never be over his Taradiddle Trauma. Never.

And no, he's never heard of that and he really doesn't think he wants to, thanks. ]


It's not a hangover breakfast if there's not bacon. [ He gasps at the very scandal of it. ] Come on, shorty. I need the kitchen if I'm spoiling you this much. You gotta stagger there with me, but I promise I'll make it worth your while.
morethanasidekick: (Pic 69)

[personal profile] morethanasidekick 2016-04-23 03:02 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's not funny and she shouldn't laugh and yet... that sure is a grin pulling at the corners of her mouth.]

Sorry! Seriously it's not funny I swear. [A beat.] What did you do?

[It's a little funny, okay.]

Hngh more moving? [Kenzi you have barely moves six inches since you woke up.] This is why I want to learn magic. There's a spell that lets you order take out without ever having to leave the comfort of your bed. I could order in Dennys and we could stay right here.

[For all her bitching she is actually, pushing herself up into a sitting position. At this rate maybe you two will reach the kitchen by next week.]
procurer: sass, curious, (014)

[personal profile] procurer 2016-04-24 12:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I yelled at her! A lot! [ He's still huffy over the matter. Always. ] Then she got mad at me for being upset about it.

[ The actual nerve.

Although he does chuckle slightly as he helps tug her to her feet, pulling her up off the couch beside him. ]


Do they even have Dennys over here?
morethanasidekick: (Pic 69)

[personal profile] morethanasidekick 2016-04-24 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah but... what did you do to make her stab you? [Kenzi, No.] Try to use her head as a drink holder?

[Kenzi was probably lucky T-Diddle didn't stab her.]

Nope. Plus, even if they did? Instead Moon of My-Hammy it'd be like. Bangers and Mashville.
procurer: sass, curious, serious, action, (003)

[personal profile] procurer 2016-04-25 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
[ He just snorts. ] No, I'd never heard of a cleric before, we don't have things like that where I came from. So she stabbed me to show me how she healed things. She's a lunatic! Who does that?

That is not at all the same thing. Could be worse. Could be haggis.
morethanasidekick: (Pic 57)

[personal profile] morethanasidekick 2016-04-25 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
The same person who did more damage pulling the knife out of Andrew than I did putting it in. [A beat.] Not a good way to meet the besties boyfriend-eventual-husband-baby-daddy, let me tell you.

[He's never let her forget it okay. And now you know why Bar Hawley was stocked with mugs from The Dragon Hoard. She exists to make his life hard.]

Or people. [A beat.] I've been to Wales okay I wouldn't put anything past the Brits.
procurer: fond, sass, (006)

[personal profile] procurer 2016-04-25 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Wait, meet who now?

[ That was a really long title Kenzi.

He snorts at her comment. ]


Never trust the Brits. It's a good policy.
morethanasidekick: (Pic 35)

[personal profile] morethanasidekick 2016-04-25 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Bestie's Husband. [Cliff notes version.]

Or Carnies. [Sage words to live by honestly.]

[Which seems like a safe place to leave them, maybe?]
procurer: fond, sass, curious, (012)

[personal profile] procurer 2016-04-26 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
[ The Cliffnotes version made more sense now.

He just snorts at the Carnie comment and slings an arm around her shoulder to guide her towards the door instead. ]


Come on. You can tell me all about your Carnie trauma while I make you waffles.