knightsoflegend | open ♔ fall/winter socialization log

WHO || Everyone! [ota]
WHAT || Shenanigans. Sorry that it's covering like half a year. Forgive me. Let us never speak of it again.
WHERE || Anywhere in the castle, surrounding environs, London, Andres, etc!
WHEN || Any time in Fall/Winter 2016
HOW || Actionspam

[ The castle can be a happening place, even on more mundane days. This log is for random interactions over the course of these few months. Because not everyone is into parties, ok. Characters who are not currently squired in may also post, as their characters are living in the castle awaiting their ceremonies. This takes place after the Knights have returned from rescuing Gar in New York City, but before the planned Keijen Blade concert at the beginning of 2017.

You are encouraged to start your own threads and tag around, and feel free to threadjack into any on-going threads that aren't specified as 'closed' in the subject lines since people can enter into rooms even in the middle of what's going on. WE ARE BIG ON THREAD-JACKING HERE. You can also specify 'single thread', meaning you want only one response for all participants, rather than multi-thread, where a number of different scenes/threads can be done as replies to the top prompt.]

On this log:

Section Heads
Failboat Return from NYC | multiple threads
Lance Sweets | Light wing appointments/training area/kitchen/movie rooms
Felicity Braddock | The bar/London/training room/shooting range/library
Kevin Beckman | Front desk
Sark & Sydney | closed
Wynn | everywhere
Jack & Buffy | closed
Hasmed & Solas | closed
Lis'sa (& Gar) | Hoard lab/library
Koraith | common rooms
Christos & Sylar & Katniss | closed
Mark/Alainn/Dana/Michael/Gar | garden
Logan & Scott | TV room
Belle & Gold | closed
Constantine & Zatanna | front lobby
Dante Wilder | Old man bar/training room
Darth Vane | Dungeon
Helen Magnus | Hoard lab/library/bedroom
Jade | Kitchen/training room
Myri | Light wing/training rooms
Lois Lane | London
Alainn O'Rourke | castle

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She still feels like this isn't a conversation that she should have. That the content is going to turn a corner into something she's never had to handle before. Why couldn't she just leave him and stop looking back? Why did he have to make her feel like he actually understood her?

She leans against the wall, looking for support or just a way to stop herself from leaving the hallway.]

Selfish how?

Imagining it could just go on this way. That we'd never have to face the ways we might be different.

I don't want to just... stop.

[She frowns, because this is sort of the part of the conversation she wasn't keen on catching up to. The part where he realizes that 'Hey it was fun and all, but I gotta bounce.' -- because that's the part that she's usually heading up. That's the part that she has rehearsed and that's the part that she's avoided getting to for all this time.]

I don't get how my answer back there [because she can't exactly say it out loud more than she's already said it... not all in the same day.] changes your mind about what we've been doing. I mean, me having some realization about why I do some things -- that doesn't make me different.

[At least, she doesn't think so.]

No. But it might change the way you look at me.

[She looks at him and shakes her head.]

It won't. [a beat as she realizes that it's not a future thing, but a now thing.] It doesn't.

Edited (wow. flashback formatting.) 2017-12-20 04:07 (UTC)

You might not even realize it if it does. I can't be... this person. [ he gestures back ] And if you're waiting for the moment when I will be, even unconsciously, you're about t'be disappointed.

[If she was a better feminist, she could start a whole thing about how he doesn't get to decide how she is going to feel about something, but instead she's mostly just wondering why he thinks she thought he'd have to change to help out the Knights. He already helped them once before -- twice, really. He didn't need to change who he was to do that. Maybe Faith's idea of what the Knights accept into their fold is a little more vague than the reality of Wynn's actual standards.]

I'm not waiting for you to become someone you're not, Quinn. [She actually sounds a little miffed that he thinks that.] The idea of you getting talked into -- I'm not still holding onto that. I let go of that pretty quick. Hell, the fact that part of it actually involved the phrase 'you getting talked into' means I knew it wouldn't be something you'd just sign on the line on your own.

That was me being selfish, but I'm not the one still thinking back on it and making it into a big deal. I let it go. [She frowns.] If you don't want to do this, out of some worry that I'm always gonna be crossing my fingers for something to change -- that's your deal.

And if you think that suddenly, because I figured out that I don't have to be the bad guy for the rest of my life -- that I'm okay being the good guy, that I'm going to change who I am? [She sets her jaw, trying to make sure this is the spot she's going to stick with.] Change into someone that you just can't stand to be around?

Then deal with that now, because whether I'm a Slayer, or a murderer, or an ex-con, or the girl in a coma, or the one saving the world -- [a beat] or if I'm a Knight working for a guy that has a giant castle -- that doesn't change me, it just makes it harder for me to be okay with making the same mistakes.

And I never thought this [There's a gesture between the two of them.] was a mistake. [If anything, she thought being a Knight was a mistake, because she thought she was the bad guy in the story.]

Even if you say it's done, [There's a softer quality to that first half of the sentiment, because since this whole conversation started heading into the 'what now' area, she's assumed that's where it would end.] I still won't think that it's a mistake.

[ he moves closer to her, bridging most of the distance as he looks down into her eyes ] I want to believe that.

In fact, you've never given me a reason not to. [ his eyes flick back and forth between hers ] I'm not afraid of you letting me down, Faith.

It's the opposite of that. You deserve somethin' better than what I'll probably ever have to offer. If we made this into something more, I couldn't live with myself if all I ever gave you was this man.

[There's a sinking feeling growing in her stomach. Something she's not entirely unfamiliar with, but it's been under different circumstances before. She shakes her head.]

You don't get to decide what I deserve -- what I want. [She reaches for his hand, trying to keep him here with her.] Maybe I didn't ever expect to have this shift into the something more category, but if it did -- I wouldn't mind it. I wouldn't think I'm getting a bad deal, either. If I ever thought that you weren't good enough for me, I'd have let you know - [a beat] a while ago.

[ he looks down, as if he wants to say something else, but instead what comes out is: ] I just don't know, Faith. I don't know where this is going.

I don't like to look ahead.

And I do? [She shakes her head, trying not to get frustrated. She knows that it's a lot easier to get frustrated than it is to get upset, so she's trying to stay away from the shortcuts.]

I'm not exactly buying a day planner, here. [She sighs.]

Hell, I only started saving contacts in my phone in the middle of last year. [She was living off the recent calls list for most of her life.]

It's fine. [She doesn't want to really go any further than they already have in this conversation. It feels like it's going somewhere she doesn't want it to go, or isn't ready to go toward.]

We don't have to sort it out. [That sinking feeling makes her assume that it'll sort itself out and she'll just have to handle it then.]

You're sure? [ he seems to be relieved at least, by her concession, but doesn't quite pick up on her discomfort with it ]

Five by five. [It's a standard reply. It's something that comes automatically. Something she doesn't have to put thought into.]

We should get out of here.

Yeah. Think you're right. [ and off they go...

we should discuss what happened, if anything, between then and faith leaving at some point! ]

open ♔ fall/winter socialization log

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