open ♔ september castle socialization

[wynn]

WHO || Everyone! [ota]
WHAT || Shenanigans.
WHERE || Anywhere in the castle, surrounding environs, London, etc!
WHEN || First half of September, any time between the September squiring ceremony and the War announcement on September 18th
HOW || Actionspam

[ The castle can be a happening place, even on more mundane days. This log is for random interactions over the course of the first half of the month.    Because not everyone is into parties, ok.

You are encouraged to start your own threads and tag around, and feel free to threadjack into any on-going threads that aren't specified as 'closed' in the subject lines since people can enter into rooms even in the middle of what's going on. WE ARE BIG ON THREAD-JACKING HERE. You can also specify 'single thread', meaning you want only one response for all participants, rather than multi-thread, where a number of different scenes/threads can be done as replies to the top prompt.]

On this log:
Drax @ the desk
Kate Bishop @ the desk
Sam @ the desk
Henry @ the desk
Kate Bishop @  roof/dining hall/library/grounds/bathrooms/desk/Dragon's Hoard/etc
Abigail @ Movie theater / library /firing range / training room
Francesca & Val'drin | closed
Penelope & Sam @ the woods
Emma Frost @ the library
Spike @ rec room
Lydia, Stiles, Astrid, Adam | closed

Comments

[valdrin]

For him. That's what this is about, isn't it? I'm the selfish one, when you're the one who refuses to let go of some idiotic notion of love for someone too foolish and self-centered to ever be with you. When you allow that to sabotage your real chance at happiness.

[socialgraces]

[ she clenches her jaw at his words, her cheek twitching in response. his accusations hit her hard, and not because they're true, but because she's feared the same thing for so many years. however, in her moment of hesitation, it's christos's words of encouragement (ironically enough) hanging in the forefront of her mind that manage to pull her through. ] This is about more than just Christos, Val'drin, and you know as much.

You're right, perhaps I am sabotaging my chance at happiness by holding on to what I feel for him, but no more so than I'd be undermining it by letting things continue on as they are.

Besides, it doesn't seem such a foolish notion as of late.

[cabot]

What in the world has changed, exactly? Since you agreed to try to move past this?

[socialgraces]

I did try, but... well, everything that's developed since that agreement has been rather accidental. [ at least on her part. it's not as if anything happened between her and christos, physically, but emotionally she feels as if they'd taken a major (and quite intimate) step toward... something, and she can't deny she's eager to see where it all may lead. hopeful, almost. ]

[valdrin]

Now you're saying that you accidentally fell out of love with me?

[socialgraces]

I didn't say that.

I was more referring to what happened between-- [ she shakes her head b/c that's a long story he's never going to understand ]

[cabot]

[ he just stares at her as if he's expecting her to relent any moment, awash in a series of guilty emotions, but when she doesn't, he looks more than visibly frustrated. he looks angry. ] I don't know what you expect me to do with this. Do you have any idea what you've put me through? And through all of it I believed, really believed, still believe, that this was worth it.

[socialgraces]

[ his anger surprises her, honestly, as he's not usually one to show his temper. yet, it's impossible for her not react with equal frustration.

she stares him down incredulously. ] What I've put you through?

No, you know what, you're right, I don't have any idea what I've put you through, because you have never deigned to share any of your insecurities with me.

Now's your chance - enlighten me. Tell me all the horrible things I've done to you.

[valdrin]

I shouldn't think they require being spelled out. You consistently mislead me, toy with my heart, and hold yourself back.

[socialgraces]

[ she takes half a step back (possibly because she's going to hit him), her own anger flaring up across her features and tightening her stance ] Are you fucking kidding me?!

I've toyed with you? I'm the one who's misleading? Listen to yourself and tell me again why you think this relationship is any good for either of us.

[valdrin]

You need to calm down, that's what.

[socialgraces]

I don't have to do anything. [ because telling someone to calm down never has the exact opposite effect 8| ] You have no right to tell me what I need, and I owe you nothing, regardless of whatever slights you may accuse me of.

I'm allowed to get angry. I'm allowed to feel, without constant degradation and condescension on your part.

[valdrin]

To get angry over nothing! [ his anger turns to biting sarcasm ] Oh yes, perfectly reasonable. How silly of me to take offense.

[socialgraces]

Over nothing? You accusing me of toying with you and leading you on hardly seems like nothing, now does it? [ her anger is quickly cooling, if only because he's really just... not worth it ]

And yet you're allowed to become enraged simply because, this time, I won't give in and start apologizing, instead choosing to defend what little bit of dignity you've left me with.

[valdrin]

It wounds me that you see me as so callous, Francesca.

[socialgraces]

[ wow, glad she rolled a 2 for that will save 8| it's not that it's going to change anything, but that doesn't mean she doesn't still feel guilty. whether or not she actually believes him, though, is another question (sense motive 33). ]

I didn't come here to hurt you. [ now i can't stop ]

[valdrin]

[ heartbreak down - pink

he puts on a perfectly wounded expression, sounding testy as he says: ] And yet that's precisely what you're doing. Do you really think intent softens that blow?

You're not thinking straight. We'll finish this conversation once you've had a few days to realize what a mistake you're making.

[socialgraces]

No, no. [ she shakes her firmly, hastily attempting to regain any footing her moment of guilt may have cost her ] You're right, intent changes nothing, and neither will time.

This. [ she motions between them ] This isn't what I want. This doesn't make me... it doesn't make me happy, and you attempting to manipulate me, or to elude this inevitability, it's not going to work. Not this time... and I'm sorry, Val'drin, I really, am, but...

If you truly cared for me, you'd recognize how miserable I am. [ she pauses for a breath, a pained expression clouding her features, and her voice thickening from the sudden tightness in her chest ] If you really loved me, you'd let me go.

[valdrin]

Francesca... [ his expression collapses a bit, as his well of manipulative words seems to run dry in the face of her argument. he looks more bereft than put out, almost bewildered by his inability to counter her. ] That's really what you'd call it?

Miserable?

[socialgraces]

[ she gives a small nod, tears starting to brim her lower eyelids, as she takes a step toward him, looking down at the front of his shirt ] It isn't you that makes me miserable, Val'drin. It's nothing you've done.

It's just... all the uncertainty, and guilt, and knowing, deep down, that I'll never be able to give you all of me, to give you my heart, completely, is tearing me apart.

[valdrin]

[ he reaches out, a hand on either of her arms, staring down at her with knitted brow ] But I've told you: I don't care about any of that. Or rather I do care, but I'm willing to accept it about you if it means being together.

[socialgraces]

[ her shoulders slump in his grasp, and she lets out a defeated sigh, still finding his words unsettling, no matter how often he's said as much ]

Yes, but I'm... not. [ however, her tone falls flat, and she still hasn't managed to brave looking up at him again, especially given their current proximity. ] No one deserves to live like this.

[valdrin]

A fate worse than death, am I? [ s-so bitter ]

[socialgraces]

You know that's not what I meant. [ she attempts to shrug her arms from his grasp, clearly frustrated ] I was referring to you; you don't deserve to live like this.

[valdrin]

And I fail to see why that shouldn't be my decision. Not yours. [ he releases her, but it's a frustrated movement, and he turns away, pinching his nose ]