knightsoflegend | open ♔ valentine's day

[ if u thought caroline recoiled before, it's nothing like the way she does when elena says damon's name. this time, at least, it's from disgust not confusion. ]

They let Damon Salvatore become a knight? Elena, I don't care if you never want to know anything about Mystic Falls or me, but stay away from Damon. He's manipulative and evil, he's a murderer and he r-- [ she cuts herself off, chin tipping up with some fragility in her expression she refuses to put a name to. ] The only good thing about Damon is his brother and even that is pushing it.

I'll leave you alone forever, just stay away from him.

They let him become a squire.

[That didn't mean he'd make it through, and not everyone here exactly had a 100% clean track record.]

Besides, he didn't seem all that dangerous when I met him. He was mostly going on about how I'm supposed to be his brother's girlfriend, claiming to know all about who I'm supposed to be, and then made eyes at me. I played his game, but he was never going to win it.

[She literally sounds like she could...not give two fucks about either of them, tbh.]

I haven't seen him since. For all I know, he's not even around anymore.

[Elena tilts her head at her then, her expression clouding.]

I'm not around very much, Caroline, but that's an awfully big leap to assume I wouldn't ever want to see you.

If I had to choose between being friends with you and keeping Salvatores out of your life, I'd make that sacrifice.

[ and it would be a sacrifice to caroline, but she's very committed to keeping elena gilbert far away from the salvatore brothers. only elena ever cared about what damon did and if caroline can protect elena from feeling what she did? she'd do anything. ]

Wait, you seriously want to be my friend? But you just said don't want to know anything about Mystic Falls, I thought...

They're not in my life. Besides, even if they show up again, I can deal with them. Whatever you're worried about, things are different here. And if they bother you, I'll be the one to put them in their place.

[She seems pretty firm on that.]

I don't want to know anything about people who aren't here, like my parents. That doesn't mean you can't tell me about you. You're here. It's different. [She pauses briefly.] But I don't know how good of a friend I can be, given the life I'm living. I'm not even sure how much you're going to recognize me anymore.

[Real talk. If Caroline doesn't like manipulative people...that's basically her job description now.]

[ even if caroline doesn't think elena particularly wants to be best friends, it's heartening that she still jumps to caroline's defense, even when she doesn't know all the reasons caroline has to hate damon. her expression softens into a small smile. ]

You don't even know me so I think we're on a pretty even playing field on the getting to know you front. So maybe we'll take it from there.

[ she holds her hand out. ] Hi, I'm Caroline Forbes. I'm seventeen, I somehow missed my birthday because of the veil so I'm still stuck in this filler year, I'm a Libra Monkey, and I'm supposed to graduate in 2011, but you'll notice there's a weird discrepancy there.

Edited 2016-02-25 22:28 (UTC)

[She still has lingering emotions from how she used to feel about these people before she crossed the Veil. Whatever she feels is much more positive than what she felt for Damon Salvatore, okay. No question.

Elena gives her a small smile, nodding.]

I think that might be the best idea.

[Her smile widens a bit at the introduction before she shakes Caroline's hand.]

Elena Gilbert. I'm 21 for several more months, and I still haven't graduated high school. [She looks amused by that, if anything.] I'm a Gemini-Cancer cusp, a member of the Dragon's Tongue, and a master of disguise.

[More things Caroline might not be ready for, oops.]

[ master of disguise, well. okay. that's something. of course, caroline's imagining it as that dana carvey movie or elena thinking her sexy nurse halloween costume actually doubled as a real nurse's uniform (it didn't).

the age difference and weird time difference is still mindboggling, but she can't focus on that because it'll drive her bonkers so she just...

ignores it. super gr8 plan. and anyway: ] I'm a vampire? Your doppelgänger Katherine murdered me to send a message. So... seventeen forever.

[Of all the things in the entire world, Elena did not expect any of this to be what came out of Caroline's mouth next.

She looks like she literally just got punched. Hooray.]

I...what?

[How many vampires did she have in her life? And, shockingly, that's the least horrible part of this.]

First of all, you're not seventeen forever. It's not as if your mind isn't going to grow and age even if your body doesn't. And second, what do you mean by my doppelganger?

[She realizes that she said she didn't want to know but this is......already fucked up and her need to know overrides everything else. It does that sometimes, oops.]

I mean, I guess age wise, you're her doppelgänger, there was a whole line of you. Her name is Katherine, she's a psychopath, I keep saying we should set her on fire, but no one listens to me because I'm "emotionally compromised" because of how she turned me into a freakin' vampire.

[ she's not bitter. ]

[Yeah, none of that helps.]

So she's...the one whose face I stole when I was born. [Because that's how she was told changelings work.] Is that why she came after you?

[She's so clueless.]

What, no? You were born like this. Well, like you, you know what I mean. You didn't steal anyone's face. Trust me, Katherine would have mentioned that. [ all you stole my boyfriend, weh, you stole my face, weh. ]

She came after me to get to Stefan and Damon, like they even cared.

I was told that's what happens when a changeling is born. Instead of having a face of their own, they're born with someone else's.

[And if she's her doppelganger.

Finally though, she just seems to shake her head.]

Regardless, she doesn't matter. She's not me and I am not her. But I'm sorry you were caught in the middle of such a thing because of me.

It wasn't because of you. It was because of Stefan and Damon. [ she almost elaborates further, but the details don't seem important anymore and as long as how serious she is about absolving any inkling of guilt elena might have for something she had no part of shines through she doesn't care about dwelling. at least she doesn't want to care about dwelling. katherine is dead to her. ]

I'm not super interesting, anyway, I don't know what else you might want to know about me.

It just seemed like it might have been, since I seemed to be the link between the brothers and yourself.

[And there was that whole apparently Stefan was her boyfriend thing. It was the obvious conclusion, but if Caroline doesn't hold her responsible, it's hard to feel too much guilt about something she...doesn't remember happening.]

Well, I've yet to meet a vampire that was boring. I'm just surprised that I was apparently surrounded by them.

Mystic Falls apparently had a history with them. [ vampires :| ] I was a cheerleader. I've made the honor roll every year since I was six, I was really banking on being the first female president.

Well, now maybe you could become the first female vampire shadowkind president. You have as many years as you want to do it, after all.

I do love being in charge... [ she hums thoughtfully, clearly giving it actual thought. ] Far as I know I'd still have to be 35 first, so... I've got a while before I can make that happen. And Prince Carl Philip's still single in this world, so maybe I'll just become Queen instead.

Well, given the rampant racism you'd probably experience, it will probably be awhile before you can even think about trying for it anyway.

[Her lips twist into a grin at that, amused.]

Always a good fallback option.

[ she has yet to experience this racism so she's still sort of indifferent to skye's sjw ramblings from earlier, which means she just shrugs. ]

People being jerks to me because of what I am isn't something new. [ jules' pack and her dad especially. ]

Well, we certainly have that in common.

[She doesn't seem to give a fuq, either.]

It's still hard to brush it off from time to time.

I may be horrible at lying to other people, but I'm really good at lying to myself. [ and the horrible just keeps spilling out because it's elena and caroline never has a filter with elena, even if memory loss and time gets in the way. it's just natural to her to spill her guts to her friend. ] Once your dad tortures you because he thinks you're a monster, everyone else just doesn't matter. [ she tries to be flippant, but she just said she's bad at lying and she wasn't lying about that. (bluff 9) ]

[Yeah, she sees through that instantly even without her mods or her mind reading, and her expression furrows into somewhere between tension, anger, and sadness.

She still feels for Caroline, memories or no. She knows how she feels in many ways, and the feelings that even the Veil didn't entirely take away leave her pained for the girl who used to be her friend.]

It's not about lying to yourself. You're allowed to be angry, to be frustrated, to care that people's words are capable of hurting you. What's important is that you know deep down that what others believe isn't what defines you. That's entirely up to you. The ones that will truly care about you will do so regardless of what they find, and that's what will help you let go of everything else.

[She tilts her head to the side, quietly contemplative for a moment.]

So many think that I'm a monster, too, but I happily own what I am now. I'm not ashamed of it. That's what makes it easier.

Edited 2016-02-26 01:57 (UTC)

[ the problem, of course, is that caroline does believe her dad. bonnie had turned her away when she'd become a vampire -- as if she'd had a choice! as if she knew that she could not transition! as if she'd be better of dead. sam's reaction had been better, like tyler's. but all the good doesn't seem to erase the bad, especially when the bad is in the form of her father and best friend. ]

I'm not ashamed of being a vampire. I love being strong, I love knowing that people can't hurt me anymore and that I can protect the people I love. [ she shrugs helplessly. ] I'm not a monster. I don't kill people, I don't hurt people, I have really good control. The best control. Turns out being a neurotic control freak comes in hand when you're a vampire because I can control everything.

[ she doesn't trail off so much, but her words end on a sour note, she knows that doesn't matter to how people see her. it doesn't matter that she still sleeps with a teddy bear that came through the veil with her, clutched in her arms with her blanket around her shoulders as she shuffled to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

she's a monster. ]

And the people that know you will know that. But not everyone does. All they know is that vampires can be dangerous. I know what that's like all too well.

I don't hide people away and steal their lives. I don't read their minds at any given opportunity to collect their secrets. But I'm capable of it, they know it, and it scares them. It's not their fault that they don't understand me and I don't hate them for it. Most of the time, it doesn't even make me angry anymore.

I know it's easier said than done. I still slip from time to time. I know I'm a monster, and being a monster is okay, because I don't regret the things that I've done, and because at the end of the day, I have people who love me no matter what anyone else says and no matter how I may misstep along the path of my life.

You're not going to convince everyone, no matter how hard you try.

Wait, you can read minds? [ she knows that's not even the point of what elena's saying and she appreciates it more than elena probably knows, simply because it's elena. but this is new. ]

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