knightsoflegend | open ♔ valentine's day

Yeah, but I'm the exception to all your rules, right?

[ It's said with his charmingest grin and a playful wink as he leans on the back of the sofa once more and waits for her to drink, still holding the coffee just out of reach. ]

I promise there's no people in it, Kenzi. Why is this even a question?

[ Does he have to worry about people here serving him other people? ]

Honey. You're the reason that rule was invented. [But her grin does suggest that yes. Despite all reason, he is her exception to that rule. He also has to be because he's holding the coffee hostage.]

There was a thing. With some soup. And a pie... Okay like, two things. [She pauses with the bottle at her lips.] It's not my fault that I got Soylent Greened okay.

[Pshh. Well. Actually? He is friends with Kenzi so. Maybe.

Not knowing how this is going to taste (Kenzi or me tbh) she'll make a scrunched up face as she finally stops avoiding and takes a couple of mouthfuls. Bracing for the onslaught of horror in her mouth, even if its fine. I'm sure it's fine. Hangover cures are never gross, right?]

[ He makes a face. ]

Eww. Seriously? In that case no, no it's not people.

[ He leans on the back of the couch and waits because while no, the stuff doesn't taste exactly great, it's also not terrible. Just maybe a little leafy, with a hint of almond and probably something else that's a little harder to identify. When she takes her swallows, he holds out the mug of coffee in reward. ]

Seriously. [No really. Her face even says as much.

She eyes him the whole time she drinks it and it's possible (by which I mean guaranteed) that if it had tasted awful... he'd be wearing it right now.

That was however less painful than she expected it to be and he's treated with a grin as she makes 'gimme' hands at the coffee as he passes it over, humming the second she lifts it to her lips.]

You're lucky I'm a bad shot. [Glancing at him over the rim of her mug.] I might have shot you for getting between me and coffee.

Ahh, but as I'm the current provider of said coffee, you'd only just be dooming yourself.

[ His logic is flawless, Kenzi. With her now ensconced with a cup of it, he hops over the back of the couch to lightly drop down beside her, holding out an arm in invitation for her to curl up and enjoy her morning caffeine. ]

So. Do I want to know why you're passed out and hung over on my couch this morning?

Like to see you play a game of keep-it-off with the coffee with a bullet in your shoulder.

[It's okay. This is one of those times when Kenzi's jokes are actually jokes and not, hideous truth dressed up as one.

She is more than happy to make the most of her very own, Nick-shaped body pillow. Cupping the coffee in both hands to warm her fingers as she nuzzles into his side.]

It was Singles Awareness Day, my B-F-F is married and pregnant and Donald Trump's copy of Tolerance for Dummies has seen my action than me since I came through the veil. [She lifts her head to look at Nick through squinted eyes.] The your room part? You'd have to go back and ask drunk!Kenzi to figure that on out cause hungover!Me has no clue.

You'd be impressed what I can do with a bullet in my shoulder. But wow, no need to be violent.

[ Still, his chiding is accompanied by a grin as he tugs a lock of her hair. ]

Ouch, sweetheart. Sounds rough. Although I'm surprised by it. Didn't think you'd be the sort who'd have a hard time finding some companionship on a day like yesterday.

[ What's wrong with men here? ]

Can we file that under things I would prefer not to see for myself. [Despite her words, she doesn't actually want to see you get shot, Hawley.

Kenzi squints at him, almost like she doesn't really get what he sees, but instead chooses to break it down the way she sees it.]

Have you looked around this place? It's like Wynn filled the Knighthood off the pages of an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog.

[While she was a little more, Hot Topic?]

And then they're all, ass kicking, magic wielding badasses to boot. I'm a human thief who makes leather and six inch heels her bitch and I'm not into one night stands.

[ And that is why you are his bff here and Taradiddle is not. ]

You do it so well, too. [ He tugs a lock of her hair as he lets her cuddle close, casting her a crooked smile. ] Look, don't think for a second that you're any less badass than they are. I've seen you in leather and six inch heels, I'm completely convinced you are quite capable of asskicking whenever you set your mind to it.

And there's nothing wrong with not being in for one-night stands. It just means there's more to you than that. You deserve better, too. There's nothing wrong with a casual hookup here and there, but that doesn't mean it can't get old after a while. Or lonely.

[ He knows. He's been there, ]

Ummm... [She's going to be real here.] No. I am a lot of things, but badass isn't one of them. I'm the one that gets told to get out of the way so I either A. Don't get hurt or B. Don't accidentally hurt somebody else.

[So much friendly fire.]

My other B-F-F is a Succubus. I don't judge the one night stands. [She lifts her head, looking quite the sight given her current hangover. A hand motioning down her body like she was one of those models on a game show.] But you gotta work to get this and the kind of guys I attract? Last guy who flirted with me? Five minutes later I found him making out with a Cleric.

Look, there are different types of asskickery, Kenz. [ He gives her a level look. ] I've seen you handle people. Hell, I've seen you handle me. Just because you don't do it with weapons or your fists doesn't mean you're just a damsel in distress here. You're capable, I just don't think you're very confident in yourself or what you can do.

The physical stuff? Not everyone gets that naturally, you know. Some people really have to work on it. A long time. You don't want to know how long it took me to learn how to shoot. I had terrible aim when I started. The target was safer if I was aiming at it.

[ The mention of her last encounter gets a protective frown from him as his arm tightens slightly about her. ] The ass. Want me to string him up for you?

[Between the life she'd led pre-veil and the one she had here? Kenzi might have had some issues with the whole, tiny, breakable human thing and she'd yet to encounter a mission here that needed her particular skill-set. She could break into just about anything and lie her way out of a paper bag but every time she's out in the field?]

Three stabbings, two shootings and one electrocution. [All said with a straight face.] The number of injuries inflicted by yours truly on other members of the Knights. [A beat.] Also, a six thousand dollar jacket but that's a whole other thing. Trust me. I got confidence in spades, it's just that people generally don't remember me for my mad skillz. [Yes. with a z.]

Naww. [A hand resting on his as if to reassure him.] Players gonna play. [She seems to just accept that it is what it is] Just, not with my lady bits.

[Brightening a little, as if to show him she's not bothered.]

[ He blinks. Then blinks again, before choking back a laugh. ]

That's a hell of a lucky streak right there. Maybe you should start aiming at your teammates so you hit the bad guys next time.

[ Okay he really shouldn't laugh, but the mental images that came with that declaration had been priceless. ]

Did anyone ever teach you how to use knives and a gun? Or was it really just that bad luck? [ He's not even asking about the electrocution bit.

Still, he brushes a light kiss against the top of her head when she pats his hand, rubbing his hand soothingly against her arm. ] Your lady bits deserve better too.

[ Which is almost hilarious, coming from him.

He gives her another squeeze. ] How do you feel about some breakfast?

And knowing my luck! That'd be the one time I manage to hit my target! [The number of times that Kenzi crit fails her attacks is embarrassing though. Seriously.] And it's not funny! I mean... I laughed but that's different cause I did it.

Gun? Yes. Knives? I was... in the process of learning when all three stabbings and the jacket incident occurred. In my defense? One was a Vampire so it really shouldn't count and another? The cleric did more damage getting the knife out than I did putting it in.

[Wait for it Hawley. The cleric? Was T-Diddle.]

[She can't deny that she enjoys the comfort of his companionship and a little smile and low hum of contentment vibrates against her lips as he presses the kiss to the top of her head. Her eyes closing for the moment.]

Damn straight. They're the Gillette of lady bits after all. [Grinning and then cracking one eye open at the mere mention of breakfast.]

Waffles?

[ The mention of Clerics and stabbings has his gaze narrowing. ]

This cleric wasn't a lawn gnome, was she? Short? Sarcastic? [ Scary as hell? ]

[ He gives a lock of her hair a playful tug in apology for laughing. ]

The Gillette of lady bits, huh? That's a damned high reputation to uphold there. Maybe you just intimidated them all.

[ He grins when she cracks an eye open at him. ] I think I can manage to muster up a few waffles.

[His answer comes in the widening of her eyes, the WTFukkery that's written all over her face.]

SEE! Not my bad then. Cleric bad! [Of course, she'd also blamed the knife at the time. Just liked she'd blamed the gun and the wand for the other incidents.]

That or they they've heard this and think I have a whole - vagina dentata thing going on. [Hawley. If you don't know, you don't want to know. Kenzi will make you watch it and there will be regrets.]

And syrup... lots of syrup.... Though I warn you if you throw in some bacon then I will come here for every hangover. You should know what you're signing up for.

Cleric at least crazy. Do you know she stabbed me my first day here?

[ Hawley will never be over his Taradiddle Trauma. Never.

And no, he's never heard of that and he really doesn't think he wants to, thanks. ]

It's not a hangover breakfast if there's not bacon. [ He gasps at the very scandal of it. ] Come on, shorty. I need the kitchen if I'm spoiling you this much. You gotta stagger there with me, but I promise I'll make it worth your while.

[It's not funny and she shouldn't laugh and yet... that sure is a grin pulling at the corners of her mouth.]

Sorry! Seriously it's not funny I swear. [A beat.] What did you do?

[It's a little funny, okay.]

Hngh more moving? [Kenzi you have barely moves six inches since you woke up.] This is why I want to learn magic. There's a spell that lets you order take out without ever having to leave the comfort of your bed. I could order in Dennys and we could stay right here.

[For all her bitching she is actually, pushing herself up into a sitting position. At this rate maybe you two will reach the kitchen by next week.]

I yelled at her! A lot! [ He's still huffy over the matter. Always. ] Then she got mad at me for being upset about it.

[ The actual nerve.

Although he does chuckle slightly as he helps tug her to her feet, pulling her up off the couch beside him. ]

Do they even have Dennys over here?

Yeah but... what did you do to make her stab you? [Kenzi, No.] Try to use her head as a drink holder?

[Kenzi was probably lucky T-Diddle didn't stab her.]

Nope. Plus, even if they did? Instead Moon of My-Hammy it'd be like. Bangers and Mashville.

[ He just snorts. ] No, I'd never heard of a cleric before, we don't have things like that where I came from. So she stabbed me to show me how she healed things. She's a lunatic! Who does that?

That is not at all the same thing. Could be worse. Could be haggis.

The same person who did more damage pulling the knife out of Andrew than I did putting it in. [A beat.] Not a good way to meet the besties boyfriend-eventual-husband-baby-daddy, let me tell you.

[He's never let her forget it okay. And now you know why Bar Hawley was stocked with mugs from The Dragon Hoard. She exists to make his life hard.]

Or people. [A beat.] I've been to Wales okay I wouldn't put anything past the Brits.

Wait, meet who now?

[ That was a really long title Kenzi.

He snorts at her comment. ]

Never trust the Brits. It's a good policy.

Bestie's Husband. [Cliff notes version.]

Or Carnies. [Sage words to live by honestly.]

[Which seems like a safe place to leave them, maybe?]

[ The Cliffnotes version made more sense now.

He just snorts at the Carnie comment and slings an arm around her shoulder to guide her towards the door instead. ]

Come on. You can tell me all about your Carnie trauma while I make you waffles.

open ♔ valentine's day

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