open ♔ fall/winter socialization log

[wynn]

  

WHO || Everyone! [ota]
WHAT || Shenanigans.  Sorry that it's covering like half a year.  Forgive me.  Let us never speak of it again.    
WHERE || Anywhere in the castle, surrounding environs, London, Andres, etc!
WHEN || Any time in Fall/Winter 2016
HOW || Actionspam

[ The castle can be a happening place, even on more mundane days. This log is for random interactions over the course of these few months. Because not everyone is into parties, ok. Characters who are not currently squired in may also post, as their characters are living in the castle awaiting their ceremonies.  This takes place after the Knights have returned from rescuing Gar in New York City, but before the planned Keijen Blade concert at the beginning of 2017.

You are encouraged to start your own threads and tag around, and feel free to threadjack into any on-going threads that aren't specified as 'closed' in the subject lines since people can enter into rooms even in the middle of what's going on. WE ARE BIG ON THREAD-JACKING HERE. You can also specify 'single thread', meaning you want only one response for all participants, rather than multi-thread, where a number of different scenes/threads can be done as replies to the top prompt.]

On this log:

Section Heads
Failboat Return from NYC | multiple threads
Lance Sweets | Light wing appointments/training area/kitchen/movie rooms
Felicity Braddock | The bar/London/training room/shooting range/library
Kevin Beckman | Front desk
Sark & Sydney | closed
Wynn | everywhere
Jack & Buffy | closed
Hasmed & Solas | closed
Lis'sa (& Gar) | Hoard lab/library
Koraith | common rooms
Christos & Sylar & Katniss | closed
Mark/Alainn/Dana/Michael/Gar | garden
Logan & Scott | TV room
Belle & Gold | closed
Constantine & Zatanna | front lobby
Dante Wilder | Old man bar/training room
Darth Vane | Dungeon
Helen Magnus | Hoard lab/library/bedroom
Jade | Kitchen/training room
Myri | Light wing/training rooms
Lois Lane | London
Alainn O'Rourke | castle

Comments

[roams]

I do what I'm good at, but I'm not sure that makes it the right thing to do.

In the end, it's what I want to do. If the two happen to line up, all the better. If they don't, I'd choose the latter every time.

[msattentionspan]

[She takes a breath, trying to backtrack through this whole conversation to figure out how she landed here. How bringing the man she cares about to the place she feels comfortable in has turned into her defending her way of life. He had called her a hero, asked if she liked it and instead of just saying 'Yes' instead of accepting that mantel, she opted to argue against it. To try and keep herself away from being the savior that she's never felt she was suited to be. It's not the job that she has an issue with -- it's the title. The word. The thought that she's already a good person.

That she doesn't need to keep proving it to herself, because she's already done all of the legwork. She is the good person that she's wanted to be.

She looks around her, to where they are in the castle. It's just a random hallway. There isn't even an interesting painting on the wall for her to focus on. Just him.]

And if I'm the hero? What does that mean?

[roams]

[ he stares at her for a long moment, emotions playing in his eyes. he seems to be at war with himself, and finally lands on: ] I don't know.

[msattentionspan]

[Faith isn't sure if she really expected him to answer or to have an answer in this instance. She knows that this isn't what he thought he was getting himself into. Sure, she explained about Slayers and she told him about the Knights, but her place in it was always a little hazy. It was a job or something she knew she was good at. It had been something in the background and now that it's front and center, right there in front of him -- she gets it.

Her mouth pulls into a tight line and she nods, rising to her feet. She dusts her hands off, as if they actually don't sweep and mop these floors daily, and takes a deep breath.]

Alright. [She doesn't want to make this into a big deal. It's already been made into a heavier conversation than she thought it'd be. She also knows it totally punched a huge hole into any thoughts that she had about him ever thinking he might join up. Not that she really thought he would. That was just another thing that Faith thought she might as well try -- since everything else up to before this moment had been going pretty good for her.]

We should probably head out. [She's ready to cut the tour short. To not bother him with anymore of this place. Of this choice she's making.]

[roams]

Yeah, before I wear out my welcome. [ he starts down the hall, assuming she'll follow ] A guy like me doesn't mesh with all this opulence.

[msattentionspan]

[She does follow. The comment he makes bristles her briefly, making her wonder if he thinks that she actually meshes with all of it. If this whole conversation has started to change the way he looks at her. She bites her tongue, opting not to open her mouth and start another conversation that she doesn't want to have.]

It is a castle. Pretty sure they always look like this.

[roams]

I don't think all of them have their own zip code.

[msattentionspan]

[She shrugs.] I never really thought about it. It's not like I get my mail delivered here or anything.

[roams]

I just can't bring myself to trust a guy who feels the need to make his wealth this well known.

[msattentionspan]

[Faith sighs, knowing that she's not really looking to debate this or defend Wynn. She knows that this castle isn't just for show, but it's hard to deny that it is pretty extravagant. She also knows that a lot of people live here and that a lot of the things here have been retrieved during missions. She thinks about the Mayor, about how he bought her the loft apartment and all the clothing. How he just wanted her to feel like she was good enough. She wonders if Wynn thinks the same thing. That he's just putting this out there for all the Knights so they think they're good enough for something this fancy. She's not Wynn, though, so she can't really say why.]

Well, then don't trust him, but he trusted me enough for me to tell you the truth and to help us in Paris.

[roams]

He did, and that's why I'm here. Because you trust him.

[msattentionspan]

[She glances to him, unsure what to say at this point. They're headed out, at least, so she can get some air and clear her head.]

I trust you, too. [Which there might be a heavier word tangled in that tone, but trust is good for now. Yep.]

[roams]

[ if there is, he gives no indication of picking up on it. unless he's just hiding it well. ] Not words I hear very often. [ a beat ] Ever, really.

[msattentionspan]

[She takes a breath. It's not the fresh air she wants, but she knows that she needs to take a step back. It's everything in her that's impulse. Acting first. Questions later. She doesn't want to fuck this up. Which is new. She's usually looking for that way out. A back door. A way to ditch the check.

She looks at him and she sees something that might be worth hanging onto.]

They're not words I say too often, either. [She usually uses the words 'rely on' or even the more shallow 'has my back' phrasing. Nothing that actually gives weight to the relationship. Nothing that she can ever say led to her getting stabbed in the back.]

I don't like talking about myself or what I've done. [Or how she handles it, because clearly it's not something she has seen in a different light until very recently. "30 minutes ago" recently.] It's not something I do, but I can with you.

[The next part comes out with an exhale. Not defeated, but something akin to resolution.] For some reason.

[She chuckles to herself.] For a moment... I almost thought I could even talk you into taking a gig here. That I could have someone that I trust here and out there. [She glances to him, offering him a look that she hopes expresses that he doesn't have to worry about her giving him a sales pitch. She knows it's not his deal.]

[roams]

You get it, right? Why this isn't... me. I can't be tied like that, can't be living under someone's orders.

[msattentionspan]

I do, Quinn. [She means it too, because she does understand that. It had been a pipe dream, really. One of those lofty things where she figured "Hey, everything has been going pretty good so far, maybe I can keep that trend rolling.". Instead, she ended up pushing them into a situation where they might not be on the same page anymore.

Because, why not screw it all up when she's had it going good for so long?]

I abandoned the idea pretty quick once we got here. [Just like she abandoned the thought of asking to just leave the Knights and opted for that safety net of just being someone they called if they needed her.]

[roams]

Does it bother you? Be honest.

[msattentionspan]

[She wants to shrug, but it's not even something she'd thought about enough to just shrug off.]

I don't think so. I mean, I don't even know how long this is gonna continue being whatever it is that this is. I keep thinking that this isn't me. This isn't what I do. This isn't - etc, etc. But here I am, telling you that for a hot minute back there I had a thought about working side by side with you.

[She wrings her hands, feeling anxious.] I think it bothers me more thinking that you're not sure what it means if I actually like doing this stuff. Because that just means I have to really face what this might or might not be.

[She glances to him.] And I keep putting that off.

[roams]

What this might be. [ there's a heavy pause, before he says: ] You mean, you and me.

[msattentionspan]

[This feels like a trick. Actually, Faith has never really had a conversation like this, so she's pretty sure this can't go anywhere good at all.]

Because, I've been fine with it not being anything. With it just being you and me whenever we want it to be that way. [A beat] But if it's gonna stop being that kind of thing, then I am gonna have to figure out if I'm okay with that or not.

Which -- gotta say -- isn't anything I've ever had to figure out before.

[roams]

Who says we have to? What's wrong with keeping things the way they are?

[msattentionspan]

[She is a bit confused at the moment, because she's pretty sure that just a bit ago (maybe 10 minutes ago) he had said that he wasn't sure what it meant if she was the type of person that liked being a hero.]

I don't think there is, but that whole talk back there? [She gestures as if it really did happen in another place.] Where me being a hero might be a problem for you?

[roams]

[ he stops, rubbing his hand over his mouth, and turning to face her ] Maybe I'm just being selfish.

[msattentionspan]

[She still feels like this isn't a conversation that she should have. That the content is going to turn a corner into something she's never had to handle before. Why couldn't she just leave him and stop looking back? Why did he have to make her feel like he actually understood her?

She leans against the wall, looking for support or just a way to stop herself from leaving the hallway.]

Selfish how?

[roams]

Imagining it could just go on this way. That we'd never have to face the ways we might be different.

I don't want to just... stop.