open ♔ june/july castle socialization

[wynn]

WHO || Everyone! [ota]
WHAT || Shenanigans.
WHERE || Anywhere in the castle, surrounding environs, London, etc!
WHEN || Any time after June 7th  
HOW || Actionspam

[ The castle can be a happening place, even on more mundane days. This log is for random interactions over the course of these few months. Because not everyone is into parties, ok.   

You are encouraged to start your own threads and tag around, and feel free to threadjack into any on-going threads that aren't specified as 'closed' in the subject lines since people can enter into rooms even in the middle of what's going on. WE ARE BIG ON THREAD-JACKING HERE. You can also specify 'single thread', meaning you want only one response for all participants, rather than multi-thread, where a number of different scenes/threads can be done as replies to the top prompt.]

On this log:

Rafael, Buffy, Des & Wynn | Closed
Frankie & Lis'sa | Closed
Taradiddle @ the desk
Lydia @ the desk
Abigail @ the desk 
Adam @ the desk
Bambi @ the desk
Rebekah @ the desk
Dawn @ the desk
Adi @ the desk 
Stiles @ the desk
Felicity @ the desk
Will @ the desk
Han @ the garage
Ric @ the bars.  all of them.  also dragon's hoard lab.
Team NYC | Closed
Lila @ the kitchen/castle grounds
Kate B. @ castle grounds / training room
Aedan @ training / woods / common areas
Frankie @ front desk / garage / various
Maxwell @  rec room / training room / castle bar / forest
Will @ firing range / pond / castle grounds
Sven @ the woods
Adam @ library / firing range / London
Jaime @ castle tavern / training room / stables
Hook @ castle grounds / bar
Jack & Christos @ the training room
Damon @ the castle bar / castle grounds / woods / London / library
Sean @ castle ground / jumping out a window
Des @ the woods
Kate @ training / shooting range / castle grounds
Vi @ her room / bathrooms / pantry / dragon's light wing / firing range
Francesca @ training room / bar
Francesca & Val'drin | Closed
Kenzi @ training room
Lila & Bambi | Closed
Spike @ training room
Lissa @ foyer / Dragon's light wing / garden
Andrew @ his birthday!
Buffy @ Rafael's room / firing range / training room / dining hall
Francesca, Will, & Max | Closed
Faith @ Kitchen / London bars
Abigail & Will | Closed
Des | Dragon's Light wing
Jackson | Train station / training room / garage
Klaus | Bar / garden

Comments

[nosdacariad]

[ knock knock mothafucker ] Vi?

[graveflowers]

What up, c-- [ nope, she is just going to cut herself off, right there. no. no swearing in front of mark. he is too delicate a creature. ] Uh, come on in.

[ she's just watching a movie on her laptop. titanic is sinking! yay! she doesn't look sad... whoops. ]

[nosdacariad]

[ he slowly accepts the invitation, coming in and glancing at the movie as he watches the band playing down the ship ] Hey.

[graveflowers]

What's up, Marky Mark? [ she smiles softly as she looks up at him. he just has that effect. ]

[nosdacariad]

Oh, the usual. [ wow he manages to make that sound kind of bitter ] For better or worse.

I just wanted... to see how you were doing, I guess.

[graveflowers]

I'm fine. [ liar. ] Alive. That's something. [ she pushes her hair out of her face. ] It sucks but. Whatever.

[nosdacariad]

[ he looks almost frustrated by the answer ] No. No, it's not whatever. It's the opposite of whatever, Vi.

It's different for everyone, I'm sure, but some of it's not, and the way it happened to you...

It's empty, isn't it. Hollow, except for the parts that hurt so bad that you hang onto them like they're a life raft, because what's the alternative? Nothing? Forgetting?

[graveflowers]

[ her lips press into a line as she listens to mark, equally frustrated because it feels like her coping is being attacked because she's doing it wrong. ] Yeah, it's all of that. Obviously. But when people ask how I'm doing, they don't want an answer, they want to feel better, so I let them feel better because I can't do anything else.

I don't want to think about it, or remember it, I don't want to relive it every single night when I go to sleep and spend the entire day trying to figure out what I could have done better so it wouldn't happen. But it did. It happened and I hate it and I don't want to think about it. Do you know what I think about instead?

I could have said yes.

If I said yes months ago none of this would have happened and one of you would have had the balls to mercy kill me once he got inside my head and that? That would have been fine. But I let people convince me I had more to live for and that they couldn't be trusted, like I didn't know, and now I don't have anything to live for. I have a dead husband and a child orphaned before she's fucking born, so yes, Mark, it's whatever! Because whatever is all I can handle!

[ her voice rises to the point that she's nearly shouting at the end, rising off the bed because she doesn't want to have to keep looking up at him, momentum of her guilt and anger and sorrow. ]

[nosdacariad]

A child? You-- you're pregnant?

[graveflowers]

[ damn her temper/lack of filter. ]

Yeah, it's super. [ slump, she stood up and abruptly sits back down. people are dying in titanic and she's about to miss the hilarious propellor flip and she loathes this topic of discussion. ]

[nosdacariad]

Jesus, Vi. [ he slumps down into a chair, staring at the floor ]

[graveflowers]

Not quite the same immaculate conception.

[nosdacariad]

No. [ he scrubs a hand through the back of his hair, looking ready to say more, but decides just to shut his mouth instead. ]

[graveflowers]

I said that really loud, didn't I? The whole... progeny thing. [ she sighs most dramatically. ] There goes keeping it a secret.

[nosdacariad]

You don't want anyone to know?

[graveflowers]

No. [ it's almost a scoff, but she just blurts it out so quickly it's obvious there isn't another answer. ] Mark, people barely speak to me just because Luthir died. I'd be a fucking pariah if people knew I was pregnant, too.

[nosdacariad]

They're probably afraid of saying the wrong thing. [ like he's sure he did ] But the people who care about you aren't going to be driven off by that, whether they know what to say or not.

[graveflowers]

Really, because that's sort of exactly what it feels like. [ not with finnick or myri or felicity, of course, but she feels isolated and she does know it's partly her fault, but it's not like they don't know where she lives. she sighs heavily, shoulders slumping. ] Sorry. I didn't mean to ... keep yelling at you. Or yell at you in the first place, that was unkind.

[nosdacariad]

I didn't mean to tell you how to deal with things, or how not to deal with them. I'm just--

I know a thing or two about guilt, about knowing what it's like to realize someone else suffered so that you wouldn't have to.

[graveflowers]

Yeah? [ she knows she should ask, let him commiserate because he probably needs it, she knows he holds so much in. and she wants to ask because she loves mark, she wants him to know she's always on his side, always. but she can barely figure out how to phrase easy stuff. this isn't easy. so she leaves it at "yeah", looking at her hands. ]

[nosdacariad]

Yeah. And what's more, I know what it feels like to be the one left behind. And to feel like you weren't worth it.

[graveflowers]

[ MARK YOU ARE SO WORTH IT SHUT UP.

but vi... is made of feelings and she doesn't say that. ]

How?

[ how does he know? ]

[nosdacariad]

Because I've been there. And I've spent a lot of time wondering how much better things would be if I wasn't the one everything was left to. Why couldn't it be the person who always seemed to know what they were doing? Who was more-- [ he frowns ] Anyway. Most people can get what it is to be sad, or even guilty, but that's something else entirely. And maybe it's not like that for you. But if it is, I just want you to hear from someone who knows you, that we're lucky to have you. You, still here with us. That you're the one we couldn't do this without and you're stronger than you probably realize.

[graveflowers]

[ fuck captcha ]