knightsoflegend | open ♔ fall/winter socialization log

Entry tags:

open ♔ fall/winter socialization log

WHO || Everyone! [ota]
WHAT || Shenanigans. Sorry that it's covering like half a year. Forgive me. Let us never speak of it again.
WHERE || Anywhere in the castle, surrounding environs, London, Andres, etc!
WHEN || Any time in Fall/Winter 2016
HOW || Actionspam

[ The castle can be a happening place, even on more mundane days. This log is for random interactions over the course of these few months. Because not everyone is into parties, ok. Characters who are not currently squired in may also post, as their characters are living in the castle awaiting their ceremonies. This takes place after the Knights have returned from rescuing Gar in New York City, but before the planned Keijen Blade concert at the beginning of 2017.

You are encouraged to start your own threads and tag around, and feel free to threadjack into any on-going threads that aren't specified as 'closed' in the subject lines since people can enter into rooms even in the middle of what's going on. WE ARE BIG ON THREAD-JACKING HERE. You can also specify 'single thread', meaning you want only one response for all participants, rather than multi-thread, where a number of different scenes/threads can be done as replies to the top prompt.]

On this log:

Section Heads
Failboat Return from NYC | multiple threads
Lance Sweets | Light wing appointments/training area/kitchen/movie rooms
Felicity Braddock | The bar/London/training room/shooting range/library
Kevin Beckman | Front desk
Sark & Sydney | closed
Wynn | everywhere
Jack & Buffy | closed
Hasmed & Solas | closed
Lis'sa (& Gar) | Hoard lab/library
Koraith | common rooms
Christos & Sylar & Katniss | closed
Mark/Alainn/Dana/Michael/Gar | garden
Logan & Scott | TV room
Belle & Gold | closed
Constantine & Zatanna | front lobby
Dante Wilder | Old man bar/training room
Darth Vane | Dungeon
Helen Magnus | Hoard lab/library/bedroom
Jade | Kitchen/training room
Myri | Light wing/training rooms
Lois Lane | London
Alainn O'Rourke | castle

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

God no. [Oh, that was out loud. But still true. Very true. Except, now she feels kinda dumb after everything that just transpired.]

I mean, I brought him to show him what I was a part of. It's the first time I've actually had something worth showing. [She didn't really have much of anything before showing up in this world. Back home she had a crap motel room, a secret loft that was bought and paid for by an insane lizard, and then prison. Of course, really it's more about having someone she actually wants to show these things to more than it is having the things.]

I should've planned it better, though.

An understandable impulse. And while we certainly appreciate the assistance Mr. O'Connor has given us, there are reasons why even our allies are asked to be brought under specific conditions, to protect the location of this castle.

I'm sorry about that. [Though, she's pretty sure a giant tank showing up on their front door isn't keeping this place exactly under wraps, but she understands what he means. She stops at joking about having someone from Mind give him a whammy, because she actually realizes that they might really have people that do that.]

It won't happen again.

I imagine it will not. [ he looks quinn over carefully ] Was there another reason you brought him?

[Sure... want to offer my boyfriend here a job in a way that makes him think that it's the best option for him? Maybe later?]

Right now? Nah, I'm good. [For now... She pauses.] When we're ready to leave, do you need me to do anything? [Metal detector?]

I don't think anything further will be necessary.

Just remember - you are always welcome back through these doors, Sir Lehane.

Thanks. [She says it with a nod, because she does actually appreciate hearing that from Wynn.

Then her and Quinn head back out into the castle proper, and away from the tension she still feels in that room.]

[ they're walking back out, quinn quite silent for awhile, until he finally glances back ] He always like that?

[She exhales a half laugh.] I couldn't tell you. I mean, that's probably the longest I've had to talk to him. It's usually more of a here's the information for your next mission. Then he sets up travel and then we report when we get back. It's not usually conversational.

I've never been... too comfortable around him. There's something about him that just doesn't fit with me. [He does remind her of the Mayor a bit. Providing all these people with places to stay, things to own. Trying to make people feel like they were special.]

There's another guy - Jack. He's more my speed. I've had some good talks with him. [She glances to him.] I bet if I had run into him first he would've told me not to do what I just did.

Seems like a lotta rules around this place. The kind you'd expect in a fancy place like this.

Elbows off the tables, do a background check on all our guests...

[She smirks at him, amused, but what he's saying is true. It is a lot of rules and she doesn't always pay attention to them all. Not because she doesn't care, but because she's never really considered herself a risk to the safety of everyone here. Except for now, when she's bringing a stranger to them into their home. Unannounced.]

Yeah, a bit. I mean, I get it, though. Aside from it being a fancy place -- it's home for a lotta people that don't have anything else. People are looking to feel protected in these walls, so they get a little crazy about who they let in the door.

If they were looking to be safe, why'd they join an outfit like this? Seems like it puts you all right in the fray.

They don't have to get into the fray. [She's never really thought about it. She's also never just asked people why they're there. She just assumes.]

And there's plenty of us to make sure that even if you're in the fray that someone has your back.

You trust these people with your life?

[She's not sure if she should read too much into him saying 'these people' as if they're some weird cult... but she can see how it looks. She also has an issue with trusting people and to group all of them into one group -- to make her say that she trusts every person in this place without even knowing some of them is a lot to ask.]

Some of them. [She says it like it's a question, instead of an answer. She knows that she's supposed to trust them, but she's had times in her life where she was the only one that she could rely on and it's hard to break those habits. She also has been in the middle of some of the people on her team bailing and ending up with the wrong people, trying to make judgments on what information they have at the time and it being the wrong choice. Helen left everyone and Faith had trusted her to be the leader on that mission.]

There are people here that trust me with their life. [And to Faith that's more important. That she can help someone else, because who cares what happens to her in the end.]

[ he doesn't seem to understand what she's driving at with that, fixing her with a quizzical expression ] You're worried they're gonna pressure you to stay?

[She frowns, shaking her head.] No...

[She did just get permission to leave and be part-time or on-call or... whatever she just agreed to.]

I'm worried I'm not gonna want to leave. That I'll always come up with a reason to come back.

That you don't know how to cut strings. [ he chews on his cheek a moment ] I suppose you just have to be willing to make a choice and accept the consequences.

[Faith laughs. It's really weird to hear it phrased that way. She used to cut and run without any problem at all. What has this place done to her?]

I never thought I'd hear that said about me. [She exhales, pushing her hands into her hair as she leans back a little, looking up at the ornate ceiling.]

It's not about not knowing how to cut strings. I can cut strings. It's -- [She drops her hands and looks at him.] I wanted to be a part of something and maybe back home things took a wrong turn and it took me a while to get things right, but here -- I started out doing the right thing. [Yes, she knows that she's saying this to the guy that early on in her adventures with him she stole a painting with him.]

It's just something I've never had and cutting strings here is different.

Why? Because of that guy? Or something else?

Wynn? [She glances behind her, as if he might suddenly be behind her to hear all this conversation.]

No. It's -- it's not a person or something like that. It's... it's this. [She runs her fingers through her hair, taking a breath and slowly exhaling it out.]

This place. Knowing that they need me. It's selfish or maybe it's just naive.

Being a hero. [ he says it with a sense of realization ] You like it.

[She never would have considered herself the hero. She knows that it's meant to be in her to be one, that she's been given these gifts so that she can save others that don't have them, but that word hasn't been tacked onto her -- at least, not out loud. It makes her think for that moment, because is that what it is? Is it being a hero or is it being important? When she worked for the mayor she definitely wasn't being a hero, but she liked it -- she liked that she was being singled out and made to feel like she was vital, crucial to whatever he was doing.

Sure, what he was doing was planning a world takeover -- but she had a place in that takeover. Everything after that, up to a point, had been tangled up in revenge. Revenge for leaving her out, for making her feel dumb, for trying to tell her that she was wrong - not just for her actions, but on a deeper level. Revenge for trying to fix her, for trying to make her think she could be better -- do better.

Angel told her she would never be done repaying her debt. That the guilt she felt would always be there and she still feels it, but there are only two things that have made her feel better about what she's doing here and she's talking to one of them about the other right now.

It feels like she's meant to make some choice. To plainly state that she likes being the hero, but she doesn't think that's the right way to state it. She's not looking to swoop in and be the one to save the day. She's looking to have a place that accepts what she's done and gives her the chance to keep making up for all of those mistakes. She's looking for a home and maybe being a "hero" has just been a perk of that all this time. Just a benefit that she's cashed in on over and over again.

The way he says it... it sounds like he hadn't thought of it before. That she might like saving people. That all the blame she put on herself in Paris that night was because she thought she could have done better. Maybe all of the clubs, alcohol, sex, and off-the-book activity had clouded that, but she would still want to try and save someone if the opportunity came up.

For all the times she'd been beat down and made to think she wasn't worth saving -- for all of that she'd want to save someone.

Faith takes a step to the side and leans against the wall, before sliding to a low crouch against it. Her forearms rest to the tops of her knees as she tries to sort through everything that's still stuck in her head. She could have just told Wynn she wanted out and she wouldn't have had to consider any of this. Walked out with all the money she'd earned so far and been fine, but she felt obligated to stay.]

I guess. [She says it with almost a sense that she still doesn't consider herself the hero. Not defeated, but clearly unsure if that label really fits her.]

Being a Slayer was always made out to be this privilege, this gift someone gave me. Then that gift got people killed. I never wanted to have this and I made a lot of wrong moves because of it.

I don't do this to be the hero. I do this so I'm not the bad guy. [Which that statement sounds like she believes it. That statement, that she isn't working toward keeping her gold star, that she's simply been trying to keep blood off her hands, that's the truth of it.]

[ he looks surprised momentarily as she sinks against the wall with the question, hesitating as if he's not sure whether the right thing to do is squat down beside her or give her her space. He opts for the second. ]

You feel like you have to make up for what you've done. [ his voice sounds strangely distant, something clearly striking a personal nerve for him as his eyes slip to the floor ]

[Truthfully, she doesn't even realize that he might have considered moving to sit beside her. She feels as if she's isolating herself away from this now, to start cutting off those longer tendrils so that if it has to rip away, it won't hurt so much. She stares at her hands, using one of her fingernails to pick at a callous that's rough at the side of her thumb.]

Because I do. [She glances up at him.] I've killed innocent people, tortured a man that was meant to train me - I've made choices that have helped events that have killed hundreds of people. I don't want to be that person. Back home I turned myself in. I opted for prison instead, because that was the right thing to do.

Here, I can't really turn myself in for crimes of another realm and I don't want to be looked at as that person anymore, either. And here - the people that used to judge me for that, they don't even remember me. [There's a hint of bitterness in her voice, because if she's doing all this good stuff, she feels like it should count more to the people who would have thought she couldn't do it. That she'd always be bad.]

So, I use this place. I use Wynn for missions so that I can save people, help other people. I use the people who offer training so I can get better. I keep wanting to consider it a home, but I seem to keep doing everything I can to steer clear of that, [She has her own apartment, she stayed away for months with him, she has a car so she can just leave and a passport, just in case.] because I just want to do the work. I just want to keep moving forward -- [She looks up at him again.] -- because looking back isn't something I feel like doing.

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