CLOSED ♔ You'll Be Coming Clean Tonight

[familybusiness]

[ ♪ bury your head - saosin ]

WHO || Sam and Dean Winchester
WHAT || Sam confronts Dean about what he's learned.
WHERE || Dean's Room
WHEN || November, shortly before leaving on the Thanksgiving Mission
HOW || spam~

[Fortunately for Sam, this time around, when Dean arrives at the Castle? Sam hears about it.

He's made friends since back then, ones that know their relationship, and know that he would want to know. And they're right, because he's been waiting for this awhile, wants to know what took his brother so damn long to come home, wants to know if he'd being avoided on purpose or...no, it's probably on purpose.

Well, that was going to come to an end in a hurry. He doesn't particularly want this conversation, because it'll probably be uncomfortable and angry and horrible, but it has to happen. He can't sit on any of this forever.

Not when he's not the only one who knows.

So that afternoon, Dean will hear a rather...forceful knock on his door, following quickly by a voice.]

Dean, it's me. Let me in.

[Because he's not going away. Sorry, bro.]

Comments

[familybusiness]

[Sam, in all his infinite wisdom (18), decides that now is definitely not the time to mention that she's told him that she doesn't want him to be that. In fact, he's pretty damn sure that now is not the time to mention her at all.

Dean knows, and if he asks about anything he'll be honest, but putting more things out there at this very moment is probably...the worst idea ever.]

You're right. I don't. And I don't want it. I don't even have a reason to need any of it.

[A beat as he considers and then...goes for it.]

When I heard what they asked you to do, what happened to our friends because of it...all I wanted to do was break them for it. But...doing that isn't going to help anything anymore. It isn't going to bring anyone back, and it isn't going to make you happy. [He swallows, shaking his head.] The biggest obstacle between me and those mistakes is you. I just want you to stop pushing me away.

[likedillinger]

[ his hand drops to his side, and he looks racked with guilt. ] You're sayin' it was my fault last time? That I wasn't there for you, the way I should've been? [ the attempt at anger fails, and instead it's clear that what's he voicing our his own fears, the questions that have been haunting him for two years now. ]

[familybusiness]

I'm not saying it's anyone's fault, Dean. We've both made crappy decisions, and we've both done stuff that we thought were the right thing only to have it come back and bite ourselves in the ass. I'm saying that whenever we screw up? It's because we did something alone instead of together.

[They're both fuck ups. Considering the hand they've been dealt, who can blame them?]

I know it's not the...same. I'm not him, not exactly. And I can't fix it, or make up for what you've lost. But I've lost my brother, too. I'm here, and he's back home, and he's probably losing his mind looking for me. We're the closest thing we have to normal, and we both know that that's practically impossible for us.

[likedillinger]

[ he stares him down for a long moment, deciding what to say with that, chewing over his words. what he comes out with is: ]




I don't think you're him. I believe you on that much.

[familybusiness]

[That...is both a relief and it hurts at the same time, because there's implications there that maybe Dean doesn't think of him as his brother at all.]

Well, that's something at least.

[likedillinger]

[ he picks up on it, honestly, and that just strains his expression further. ] But you're still Sam. That much is clear.

[familybusiness]

[The way he nods his head makes it seem like it's heavy, like he's too tired to do it properly. He feels like he should feel better about all this. It's what he'd wanted, right?

Maybe the enormity of it all, all the baggage, has just sorta sucked a lot of the life out of him. What should have been some kind of happy reunion in his mind was now just...kind of sad.]

So...now what?

[likedillinger]

You gotta make me a promise, Sam.

You gotta promise me that you'll come to me first. That you won't try to go off and deal with any of this on your own again. [ he looks down, brow furrowed, figuring out how to say this. ]

If you want me to trust you, you gotta trust me, that I know what I'm talkin' about with all this. You've heard what that bitch says happened, but hearing it from somebody ain't the same, especially not her.

I was there.

I know.

[familybusiness]

[Agreeing to that completely comes at a cost, but this is his brother.

If he's really going to try, then Sam has to, too. And he's willing to pay whatever it is he has to.]

As long as you understand that I can deal with this, that I have to, and that you're not going to try to hide things from me because you think it's what's best, then yeah. I can do that.

[likedillinger]

[ ♪ i'll be good - jaymes young ]

It's not about hiding anything from you, Sam.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't know how to talk about this crap? That I don't want to look back at the shitstorm that was the last few years, how bad it got?

[ even that much seems difficult for him to spit out, and he shakes his head ] There just aren't words for some things. And it's all I can do to keep going from one day to the next without thinking back on that every moment of every goddamn day.

Just promise me it's gonna be different, and I'll do whatever I can, alright?

I can't get you back just to lose you again. I can't.

[familybusiness]

Look, you knew enough to tell Rose. I've seen how she looks at me, sometimes. At least now that makes sense.

[Yeah he failed the fuck out of his will save not to point that out. He...doesn't seem mad about it anymore though, so it's not an accusation.]

But honestly, I'm glad you had someone to talk to. You can't just...keep all that bottled up forever. And I know you didn't trust me, so it's...I'm not mad about it anymore. I just want to fix it as best I can.

[He nods quietly, relenting.]

I know. [He's heard more than enough to know the truth of that.] And it will be different. I promise.

[He leans over, his long ass arm reaching the beer fridge from where he is, and he plucks two more out, handing him one of them bottom first.]

Here.

[likedillinger]

[ he stares at the beer, then back up at sam's fucking puppy eyes for a long moment. the olive branch is as obvious they come, and he definitely doesn't find it easy to accept it.

but finally he reaches out and takes it, with a single nod. ] Thanks.

[familybusiness]

You're welcome.

[Silence hangs heavily for a moment before he speaks again.]

I'm sorry for not waiting for you.

[likedillinger]

I should've known you weren't gonna. I can't say I wouldn't have gone lookin' either, if it were me. I don't know.

But what I do know is I thought they were done with us. And the fact that they show up when you do, and start whispering all their little Hell propaganda in your ear tells me they ain't.

I don't have much left to lose, Sam. But the couple things I do have-- [ he shakes his head firmly, pursing his lips at the imagined scenarios playing out. ]

I'm not letting anybody take 'em away from me. Heaven, Hell, or anything in between.

[familybusiness]

[Time for the honesty train. You asked for it, remember Dean?]

No one else has tried to contact me. She...told me that thy are done with us. I realize you won't necessarily believe that, but if she's lying I...can't tell. According to her, seeking me out was just a selfish choice on her part.

[He looks uncomfortable again as he continues, because what he says next legitimately...creeps him out.]

I'm, um, being rewarded with a normal life because of my...service.

[Awkward. Speaking of things for which there are no words.]

[likedillinger]

Your service. [ /repeats everything sam says in this conversation i guess. but lmao he sounds so disgusted oh my god. he's gonna throw up. ] He's still out there doing it, isn't he?

Doing Lucifer's bidding. Being his freaking cabana boy.

[familybusiness]

[Yeah, at least they're agreeing on this part like...so hard.]

From the sounds of it, yeah. I didn't ask for details. Not shockingly, I didn't really want them.

[likedillinger]

You and me both. I've already heard too much about your extracurricular activities with little Miss Lucy Jr., believe me.

[familybusiness]

[Something occurs to him as he takes another pull off his beer, though he hesitates a moment before saying it.]

Look, I...don't know what you and Buffy talked about but she doesn't know about what she didn't hear from Robin.

[For the most part, anyway.]

I'd like to keep it that way. She doesn't need to get caught up in the rest of this any more than she already has.

[Little does he know...]

[likedillinger]

I'm not sure just how much she knows, or don't know. But I think you're gonna have a hard time gettin' her to back off this.

[familybusiness]

She knows whatever you told Robin. Apparently they were friends on the other side of the Veil. I don't think he would have kept anything from her.

[He sighs.]

But you're right. She doesn't seem the type to just let something go.

[likedillinger]

She's got some kind of stock of her own in it. The angels--

Michael. He talked to her about some destiny of hers. [ he rankles at the word, looking away as he names names. ]

[familybusiness]

Michael? As in the archangel? She's talked to him?

[Wat.]

[likedillinger]

[ well. shit. ]


She ain't the only one.

[familybusiness]

[He just...looks a little thrown for a second before he just...tries to accept that.]

Considering I've been talking to Lucifer's daughter, Michael's not that much of a stretch, huh?

[So deadpan. Everything is terrible.]

I knew you were talking to an angel, but I thought it was a different one. One called Castiel?