knightsoflegend | open ♔ october socialization

Entry tags:

open ♔ october socialization

WHO || Everyone! [ota]
WHAT || Shenanigans.
WHERE || Anywhere in the castle, surrounding environs, London, Andres Isle, etc!
WHEN || October
HOW || Actionspam

[ The castle can be a happening place, even on more mundane days. This log is for random interactions over the course of the first half of the month. Because not everyone is into parties, ok.

Also, following the promotion and squiring parties at the beginning of the month, Wynn will be taking any willing Knights back to Andres Isle to further reconstruction efforts there. There's plenty to be done - and an election to gear up for, to find out who will rule Andres Isle!

You are encouraged to start your own threads and tag around, and feel free to threadjack into any on-going threads that aren't specified as 'closed' in the subject lines since people can enter into rooms even in the middle of what's going on. WE ARE BIG ON THREAD-JACKING HERE. You can also specify 'single thread', meaning you want only one response for all participants, rather than multi-thread, where a number of different scenes/threads can be done as replies to the top prompt.]

On this log:
Wynn & Section Heads @ Andres/London
Felicity @ the Desk
Damon @ the Desk
Gar and/or Kat @ Andres
Cordelia & Bambi @ Andres
Mark @ Andres castle, village, graveyard
Belle @ London castle
Amara @ London castle, Round Table room
Zero/Wheatley @ the Hoard labs
Cora @ the woods / Andres / London
Buffy @ Andres / London
David @ the Castle training room / Andres
Lydia @ England, the lab
Emma F @ London castle
Alanna @ Andres
Willow @ Andres/London library
Faye @ library
Abigail @ London castle/cleric wing/training room/library
Stiles @ Andres
Myri & Elena | Closed
Rose @ London / Andres
Han @ London/Andres
Carol @ Andres castle/ construction
Kenzi @ London armory / Andres throne room
Spike @ Andres
Killian @ Andres construction / London castle
Avaleen @ Andres
Thea @ castle firing range
Frankie @ Andres
Damon @ the castle
Malina @ London bday celebration / Fire wing / Gardens / TV room
Rocket @ London TV room
Jordan @ Andres
Alainn @ Andres
Glasya & Sam | Closed
Nathan @ Andres / London training room
Astrid @ London
Alex @ London firing range, airfield
Finnick @ Various
Sylar @ London kitchen/library
Lissa @ Andres medical / London light wing, various
Hayley @ Rebekah | Closed
Glasya & Sam | Closed
Alice @ Andres/ London

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't think you'd try to be anything but fair with him but... [Lines crease her brow and she hugs herself a little tighter, Rose trying to find a way to explain it without offending Helen.]

I want you to like him... And I know you wanted me to be careful and trust me, I know that he can be -

[She takes a deep breath and tries this again before she sends herself off on the wrong tangent.]

I know you're not his number one fan. I know that Sam has been talking to you and I don't want to give you any more reasons to think badly about him.

[She lets out a huff because she at least has enough sense to know that she's making it sound like her relationship with Dean would give Helen reason to think badly of him.]

Not that, I would... [But it's Rose and she and Dean are bound to end up bickering about something and even she knows she's not exactly good at keeping her mouth shut when she's pissy.]

Rose... [Her tone carries the weight of things she isn't sure how to say. For a moment, she seems to search desperately for where to begin before her mouth closes and she lets out a hard exhale through her nose.]

I know that when we've talked about him in the past, my opinions of Dean weren't exactly kind. And yes, my concern for you being involved with him did play a part in the intensity of those feelings. But it's clear to me now that this is something you both want to work at. He's made the decision to stay and join the knights. That fact alone tells me a great deal.

[She never had to do this with Ashley. Her daughter's life ended before she ever had a serious romantic entanglement. This is painfully new to her to have someone she feels like she needs to protect from the potential of heartbreak. And perhaps she continues to judge Dean too harshly. Perhaps she sees only the things that make him similar to the man who once held her at knife point to tell her how innocent he was of the crimes she accused him of, the same man who claimed that he would love her for all eternity. She sees a darkness in Dean, that thrill for the hunt. And it scares her. But there's clearly more to him than that. And in time, she hopes to see the parts that Rose so obviously cares for.]

Do I believe he's dangerous? Yes. But I trust you to know better than to let that line be crossed without doing something about it. And I hope that if that ever happens, you will still come find me, no matter my role in his life.

[Helen was too afraid to do more than try to push her fears under the rug, pretend they didn't exist. It was a different time then. She was a different person. But she knows that love can blind you until its too late.]

That being said, I do not think he is a lost cause by any means. But it will take time. And I don't want to lose you in the process of trying to help him.

[While Rose respects Helen enough to let her speak without cutting her off, there’s no disguising the hurt and even frustration that flits across her features when Helen admits she believes Dean to be dangerous (WS 14), her arms again folding over her chest, eyes dropping to the ground. It’s one of those times when she wishes she was better at explaining herself, when she wished she possessed a golden tongue that could weave together an explanation that would paint somebody in a different light but intellect and diplomacy was not what had made her a Knight. She was good with her fists, a walking weapon if you will and she didn’t hate herself for that. It was what she was good at, what she trained every day to be but moments like this, she really did wish she possessed the gift of pretty words.]

Three months. [Finally lifting her gaze again.] It wasn’t for the money I can tell you that much. Everyone else got called back or gave up when we were looking for Kyp and Elena. He could have left at any time and you know Wynn would have understood… but he stuck with me for three months. Not because it was a hunt. He did it for me. So I could finish it. Get some answers.

[It wasn’t the only thing that changed the way she saw Dean and she couldn’t pin point the moment when it went from being a partnership born from circumstance to something more. It was more like a series of little moments, a slow shift in the way that she saw him and in turn, how she felt about him and it wasn’t until they returned to London that she realized how deep the feelings ran.]

A killer. [Pained to say this.] A blunt instrument. His words, that’s what he thinks you all see him as and as long as people treat him like that’s all he is, what reason does he even have to act any different? [That’s what she believed anyway, that he played a role for others, that he behaved like the person they expected him to be rather than the person she saw in him and it frustrated the hell out of her, especially when he’d shoot his mouth off like he had with Helen at his squiring because Rose didn’t just believe he was better than that, she knew he was. She wouldn’t be with him otherwise.]

Don’t judge him by what he says, look at what he does. [A hint of desperation in her eyes and voice as she meets Helen’s gaze.] Last I checked? Fighting a war with us wasn’t part of any deal he made with Wynn.

I think you are mistaking caution for judgment. I have no intention of forming my opinions of the man based on things I have simply imagined. I have watched him and will continue to do so. For whatever circumstances may have brought us here, I hope you still realize I am a good judge of character. More than that, I am not one to take my job as a mentor lightly.

[The more they talked the subject in circles, the more Helen feared it would end with Rose telling her to stay away from her. But she felt compelled to at least attempt to explain herself.]

When I was young- not much older than you, actually... I fell in love with a man that I thought I knew better than any other soul. We were engaged to be married and I believed my life was nothing short of perfect. But he changed. Love had blinded me to ignore his dangerous instincts, told me to turn away when he showed his darker nature. I told myself I could make him better simply by being there, by loving him. But it wasn't enough to quell his bloodlust. He was a killer, Rose, a blunt instrument of his own design.

I understand that Dean is not the same man John was, but there are times when I wonder if they aren't so different. I want to be wrong. I truly do. But until I see that for sure, I will remain cautious. And I will worry for your well being- because no one thought to worry about mine and it nearly cost me my life.

[The whole reason why Rose finds this so frustrating is that she does trust Helen, respects her, wants and even needs her in her life, just as much as she wants and needs Dean. She expects Helen to be able to see past the obvious when it comes to Dean because she’d done the same with her, hadn’t allowed Rose’s propensity to shoot her mouth off and problem solve with her fists get in the way of seeing what she was capable of, not just as a Knight but as a person. Helen, who Rose thinks can find the good in everyone and who, from personal experience, Rose knows can bring out the best in somebody just by believing in them. When one of the people you’d trust with your life is wary about the only other person you have that same blind faith in? It’s like she’s trying to force two magnets together and can’t understand why they won’t meet in the middle.

Rose lets out a sigh, frustration inherent in it, anything she can say in response still a jumble in her head but Helen speaks, cutting off any argument Rose might try and make and she tries to take in Helen’s words without allowing her defensiveness to override what she was saying. It was hard though, mostly because, the more somebody seems to see the bad (or just, possible bad) in Dean, the more she wants to insist that they’re wrong.

Silence lingers for a long while after Helen finishes, Rose trying to sort through her feelings, not sure if anything Helen says changes anything. She could understand maybe, why she worried, why she’s cautious where Dean’s concerned but there’s still that stubborn streak in Rose that wants to stomp her foot and say ’It’s not the same’ and yet, there’s even a part of her that knows that it isn’t all that different. Helen was right to worry about Rose’s well-being, she was right to be concerned that being with Dean could cost Rose her life. The difference being, Rose knew that, she knew all of that before she got involved with him.]

He… is… [Emotion strangles her words as she tries to get them out, Rose pulling in a deep breath and slowly letting it out as she struggles to get a hold of herself, to say what she needs to say. (WS Crit Fail).] …the only good thing to come out of these last four months. [Her sentence delivered slow and deliberate, so she can get each word out without breaking.] And I’m not, stupid. I am - painfully aware of how wrong I’ve been about some of the people in my life and it’s because of that, that I know I’m not wrong about him. [She shakes her head, frustrated again that she can’t just say what she’s feeling and have it all make sense.] I get, that you’re worried. I even get why. [Swallowing the lump that wells in her throat.] Thing is? I also just really want you to be happy for me.

Oh, my dear girl... [The words come on a hushed breath, realizing just how much misunderstanding there really is between them.] Of course I'm happy for you. Rose, I want to be wrong about him. More than anything.

[Shaking her head, Helen can't help but let out a small laugh.]

You know, I had thought I had lost my only chance to have fights like these. [Her smile turns a little sad as she thinks about her daughter, Ashley and all the things in life she had missed out on.] Of all the years I've had, all of my experience with the Knights and otherwise, this may be my blind spot. I've never had this particular conversation with a--

[She cuts herself off at first, expression uncertain. The relationship she has with Rose is complicated at best. But perhaps it's time to just be honest about it all.]

A daughter. Rose, I know I have no right to tell you what to do or who to be with. And I won't ever ask you to stop seeing him unless I see a true threat to your well being. But I care about you as if you were my own. I had a daughter once, one I couldn't protect. I don't want to make the same mistake again.

[Maybe if Rose’s life had involved a little more parenting and a little less fending for herself, she would have understood what was happening here, would have seen it for exactly what it was instead of letting the bull take hold in her head but the closest Rose can even recall to having an argument about ‘a boy’ had been nothing like this. It may well have been with her own mother but Helen at least made it clear that she was worried for Rose. Janine? Well there were probably better ways to express concern than calling your daughter a ‘Cheap Whore’.

The confusion remains etched across her features, Rose unable to understand how Helen can be both happy and cautious at the same time, the Dhampir still looking like she’s about to break out another Rose!logic argument any second until Helen says the one thing that knocks all the wind out of her sails.

She rocks back on her heels, mouth closing, anything she might have said lost in the emotion that rises up, two words - A daughter - echoing in her head.]

Oh… [As always lacking the eloquence that the moment deserves but at least this time not missing the significance of it as she shifts her weight from one foot to another.]

I don’t… [She looks almost at a loss, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, something close to embarrassment flitting across her features as she tries again.]

Is this what parents do? [It’s sad in a way because she’s perfectly serious when she asks that question but she doesn’t understand that you’re supposed to have somebody in your life who can be emotionally blinded by what they feel for you. She’d seen it, in other people, seen it in Dean for Sam sometimes but she’d never really understood what that might feel like, until now.]

It’s like a… mother-daughter thing and, not a, you don’t like Dean thing?

[She wonders if it's something to do with the Veil. Could Rose's memories of her own parents have been taken from her? It's not something they've had the time to discuss, and perhaps it's not a topic easily taken on. And maybe it's not especially important right now.]

In part, yes. [She won't make it out to be only that. It wouldn't be entirely true.] Dean and I are very different in just the right ways to make it difficult for us to see eye to eye. I don't want you to think that the way we are together is just because of how I feel about you. Believe me- if he had become my squire before you ever arrived through the Veil? We'd still bicker just as we do now.

[Which may not be so comforting, but the last thing Helen wants is for Rose to blame herself for Helen giving Dean a hard time or for pushing him to be better than he is.

Stepping forward, she reaches out a puts a hand on Rose's shoulder, squeezing slightly.]

But yes- the reason why I struggle to see past the way he might end up hurting you? Is very much a mother-daughter thing.

[When Dean Winchester judges your parents, you know there’s a problem.

She’d like it to be different but she can’t really blame Helen. Six months ago? She’d have laughed in your face for even suggesting she’d defend Dean Winchester, let alone date him so she still has hope that he’ll be able to change her opinion, assuming he can stop shooting his mouth off whenever Helen was around.]

I’m not asking you to give him a free pass. [At least wanting that to be clear.] I mean, call him on his crap, I sure as hell do… I just, you both matter to me and I don’t really know how to deal with this whole, you being his Knight thing. I sort of figured, I could… get you to know him slowly, preferably in a way that would make him look good. [Mustering up a wry half grin.

Her gaze moves to the hand on her shoulder, Rose clearing her throat as if that would actually push the emotion back down and make this part easier.]

And I’ve never really had… this. [More uneasy about talking about this than she was about Dean.] Nobody has ever really… worried about me like you do. I mean, I’m not saying I don’t - [Appreciate it felt hollow somehow, like it wasn’t enough.] I’m just new to this whole… [She lets out a huff and gives up on trying to find a right way to say it and just goes with a Rose way.] I never gave a crap what my own Mom thought about who I was with or what I did but I care what you think and it’s just… hard.

And I'm sure it doesn't help to be sorting out a new relationship with him and all of this at the same time. [Helen's heart aches to realize just how foreign the concept is for Rose to have people who care about her. She doesn't want to push her too far with that affection, but god does she hope that Rose realizes just how much she just wants to see the young woman happy.]

It may get easier with time. But from my experience? There will be days where you would prefer that I just stay out of your business. And that's alright. I want you to feel like you can tell me that. [She pauses, letting out a small laugh.] I can't promise that I actually will, but...

[That's what having a mom is like.]

Essentially, I'm getting to know Dean in two entirely different ways. Partly as my squire and partly as your... [She trails off. Well, there's really only one word she imagines fits the bill.] boyfriend. Separating the two? Is my job, not yours.

Believe it or not, being with Dean is the easy part. [It’s the hard part that she’s not sure how to navigate, especially when it comes to Helen because if she had any idea the level of crazy that came with it? Rose wasn’t sure that following her heart and damn the consequences would be enough of a reason for Rose to risk herself in Helen’s eyes.]

But that’s… a Mom thing… [Bobbing her head and trying to find a smile, albeit an uncertain one. That’s more to do with Rose than Helen however, there’s something confusing about hearing how a mother is supposed to behave when you’re almost twenty-one years old.]

Okay… [Her teeth run over her lower lip, Rose looking like she has more to say but having never had one of these conversations before, she wasn’t even sure how to explain it.] But… there’s going to be times when… I can’t tell you things. [Quick to add;] Not because I don’t trust you, because I do… It’s just, some things aren’t mine to share.

I knew that, dear. If I ever came across a daughter that told her mother every single thing? Well, I might die of shock first. Believe me, I don't expect full disclosure when it comes to him. I certainly don't want to know every intimate detail. [ahem]

But what I hope is that you will always feel like you can talk to me when you need help, or even just someone to listen to. And I hope that if you ever feel unsafe, no matter the reason why- that you know that you can find me, and that I will do everything in my power to help you with whatever it is that's wrong.

[It takes Rose a moment to discern Helen's meaning, cheeks flushing as a tight, borderline embarrassed smile twists across her face.]

Trust me, there are some conversations I just, never want to have. [Reasons why Rose needs to get to know a Doctor that isn't Helen TBH.

Bobbing her head;] It's... going to take me a while to kind of, find that balance? [Wanting to be honest with Helen about this when there's so much she couldn't be honest about and still keep her promise to Dean.] But, I promise that if I get in over my head - [She says like she isn't already.] You'll be the first person I come to.

Believe me, dear. If anyone can let you take your time? It's me. [Perks of living until mortally wounded? Yay.

Stepping closer, she pulls Rose in for a hug. This is another thing she'll have to get used to. All the hugs.]

[She's very much not used to the hugging thing, Rose a little awkward and stiff at first but after a moment, her arms move around Helen and she's hugging her back a little tighter than was strictly comfortable.]

I love you, you know that right? [Words rarely ever spoken by Rose, to the point where even saying them now feels as strange as it does right.]

[She had suspected that Rose cared for her deeply, but to think that she might ever actually hear the word 'love' from the young woman's heart was little more than a fever dream. Floored by the admission, she just gapes for a moment before finally nodding.]

I love you, too, Rose. More than I could ever hope to say.

[They're words she'd never heard from her own mother and it takes Rose a moment to be able to process the feeling that's going through her, pulling in a staggered breath before an emotional half smile breaks across her lips.]

I'm really glad cause that would have been seriously awkward if you didn't. [Only Rose, her rushed words accompanied bu a flutter of laughter to diffuse the intensity of the moment.]

[Laughing lightly, Helen shakes her head at Rose's standard humor shining through.]

Yes, I think it might have been. Thankfully, we don't have to worry about that. Now- what would you say if I asked you to join me for lunch?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

open ♔ october socialization

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